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Chapter 2

Author: Dodie
By the time we got home, it was past nine.

Stella didn't fuss.

The little girl washed her face, changed into her pajamas, and wheeled her little suitcase back to her room.

But the quieter she was, the harder it was to bear.

I heated a glass of milk and brought it in.

The blue notebook was lying next to her pillow.

"Can we go to Grandma's tomorrow?"

she asked, cradling the glass in both hands.

"You want to see her?"

"Grandma never tells me to act my age."

My fingers stiffened.

At just five years old, she'd already learned to make excuses for giving in.

After I tucked her in, I opened the hotel booking.

At some point, the family suite I'd booked had been changed to two rooms, each with a king bed.

I pulled up the modification history.

The change had been made three months earlier.

One room was under my name and Stella's. The other was under Nathan's and Sophie's.

He had planned to bring Sophie all along.

I called him, but Sophie answered.

"Nathan is taking a shower." Her tone was perfectly polite. "Is it urgent?"

"Put him on the phone."

Sophie explained softly, "He's been comforting me ever since we landed. He's exhausted."

"Sophie," I cut her off. "That's his phone, not yours."

The bathroom door clicked open.

Nathan took the phone.

"Why are you taking this out on her?"

I scoffed and mocked, "Then why did you lie to me? You changed the room reservation three months ago."

The other end went quiet.

Sophie seemed to have stepped away.

After a long silence, he finally said, "She had just filed for divorce. I didn't know how long it would take her to recover."

"So you were lying to me last night."

Nathan denied it. "That's not lying."

"Then what is it?"

As if it needed no explanation, he said, "The itinerary didn't change. I just bring her along."

That was how his mind worked.

As long as the destination hadn't changed, it didn't matter who would tag along or whether his wife and daughter had been pushed aside. To him, those were just details.

I kept scrolling through the hotel booking page.

The family reservation at the observatory had been canceled two months earlier.

In its place was a private hot-spring reservation for two at a mountain resort.

Nathan had paid for it.

The reservation was for Nathan and Sophie.

Whatever had been burning inside me suddenly went out.

All that remained was cold clarity.

"What about the observatory you promised Stella?"

He went quiet again.

"It's a full moon those nights; there wouldn't have been many stars anyway."

I pressed on. "Then why didn't you tell her?"

"I was going to buy her a telescope to make it up to her."

"But your daughter wanted you."

Nathan's breathing grew heavier.

"Zara, I have my responsibilities too. Her brother asked me to look after her before he died. I can't just leave her to face her divorce alone."

Sophie's brother once saved Nathan's life in a mountain accident.

He had carried that debt for ten years.

I had respected it. I had been understanding.

But he shouldn't have been repaying that debt at his wife's and daughter's expense.

My voice dropped. "You can help her find a place to live. You can take her to see a doctor. You can reach out to her family. But you can't keep abandoning Stella."

Nathan shot back immediately. "She's my daughter. How could I ever abandon her?"

"You already have. Three times."

His tone hardened too. "I'm not going to dig up the past."

"Neither am I."

I opened the family account, ready to check the expenses for this trip.

When I saw the balance, I stopped.

25,000 dollars was missing from the account.

The transfer memo contained just one word.

Loan.

Recipient: Sophie.

I sent him a screenshot. "What is this?"

Nathan didn't dodge the question this time.

"After her divorce, Sophie needed to rent a new place. Her ex-husband froze their joint account."

I said each word slowly. "That is Stella's money."

"I just borrow her temporary."

Sophie's soft voice came over the phone, "Nathan, please don't fight with Zara because of me."

He softened his tone immediately. "It's not your fault."

A bitter laugh escaped me.

In his world, Sophie was never at fault.

To him, I wasn't understanding enough. Stella couldn't wait. And somehow, we always expected him to come home whenever Sophie was at her most vulnerable.

"Nathan, return the money tomorrow."

Nathan shook his head and refused. "She doesn't have it right now."

I insisted. "Then you pay it back."

Nathan countered, "We're married. Do we really need to keep score like this?"

I opened a drawer and took out our marriage certificate and the deed to the house.

"Yes. We do."

He seemed to sense something.

"What are you planning?"

I didn't answer. I hung up.

It was one in the morning.

I sent my attorney a message.

"Mr. Lawson, I'd like to consult you about divorce and child custody."
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  • The Stars We Lost   Chapter 10

    The weather was perfect the day we went to the observatory.Nathan arrived two hours early.He brought a thick blanket, water, and Stella's favorite snacks. He had thought of everything.When we had first married, he used to be this thoughtful.Back then, he remembered how easily I got cold. Whenever we went out to watch the night sky, he would always slip a thermos into my hands before we left.It wasn't that he'd become less patient.He had simply given that patience to Sophie, little by little, over the years.The wind was strong on the mountaintop.Stella bent over the telescope, determined to find the star cluster her teacher had mentioned.Nathan crouched beside her and adjusted the angle."Do you see it?"Stella pressed her eye to the eyepiece and gasped in delight."I see it! There are so many!"Nathan looked in the direction she was pointing."That's the Pleiades."Stella kept her eye on the lens."It looks like a little handful of candy."Nathan laughed and said, "You describ

  • The Stars We Lost   Chapter 9

    After the event, Stella ran down from the stage."Daddy, you didn't leave."Nathan crouched down and straightened the small badge on her chest."I made a promise."Stella looked at him and asked, "Does that mean you won't leave anymore?"Nathan crouched down in front of her. This time, he didn't make the easy promises he used to."I can't be with you every day. But from now on, whenever I promise you something, I'll do my best to keep it."At last, he understood that what a child needed wasn't a promise that would never be broken, but someone who kept his promises, one by one.Stella took off her junior presenter badge and pinned it to his coat."This is your reward."Nathan smiled, but tears rolled down his cheeks.As we left the planetarium, he stopped me at the door."Sophie's parents already took her home."I nodded. "Okay."As if afraid I had missed the point, he added, "I didn't go up to see her.""I know."He looked at me, his voice barely above a whisper. "Zara, isn't that enou

  • The Stars We Lost   Chapter 8

    Sophie turned to look at me, her eyes filled with resentment."She made you choose, didn't she?"Nathan didn't look back."At the airport, she did make me choose. And I chose wrong."The elevator doors opened in front of me.I was about to step inside when Nathan suddenly hurried after me."I told her we were done. This time, it's really over."I held the door-open button and looked at him."But Sophie was never the problem between us."The elevator doors slowly slid shut.Nathan tried to stop me, but before he could stop, the mediator hurried over from the other end of the hallway."Mr. Clarke, Ms. Mitchell's attorney has filed for divorce. Your case is now before the court."...A week before the hearing, the planetarium held its annual Kids' Stargazing Night.Stella was one of the junior presenters, introducing the Big Dipper.She had practiced at home for two full weeks for those few minutes on stage.Before the event began, Nathan sent me a message."I'm here."He was wearing a da

  • The Stars We Lost   Chapter 7

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  • The Stars We Lost   Chapter 6

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  • The Stars We Lost   Chapter 5

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