Chapter Seven

The door clicked shut behind Nathaniel.

For a long moment, I couldn't move,the room felt strangely hollow after he left, as though he'd taken all the air with him.

The steady beeping of Marcus's heart monitor became the loudest sound in the room, filling the silence Nathaniel had abandoned behind, I stared at the closed door….i should have gone after him.

Shouldn't I? Shouldn't a wife run after her husband? The thought came so naturally that I almost laughed.

A wife.

I'd been one for two years, yet somehow I still didn't know what that word was supposed to mean.

“Elena.” Marcus's voice pulled me back,I blinked and looked at him,he was studying me carefully, concern replacing the teasing smile he had worn minutes earlier. “You don't have to stand there pretending you're okay.”

“I'm not pretending.”

“No?”

I let out a shaky breath, “No.” The admission hurt more than I expected. I pulled a chair closer to his bed and sat down heavily. “My whole marriage feels like one long misunderstanding.” Marcus didn't interrupt,he never did instead he simply waited.

“I don't even know why I'm crying anymore,” I whispered. “Is it because Nathaniel thinks I'm having an affair? Or because after everything... after everything he's done... it still hurts that he'd rather believe the worst of me than ask me the truth.”

Marcus looked down at the blanket covering his legs. “It isn't about trust.”

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“Nathaniel doesn't know how to trust,” Marcus said quietly. “He spent two years convincing himself you didn't matter but the second he thought someone else might love you... he couldn't stand it.”

I looked away. “That's not love.”

“No,” Marcus agreed. “It isn't.”

The word echoed inside me,Love. I had chased it for two years,cooked dinners hoping he'd stay home,learned how he liked his coffee,remembered every anniversary, every meeting, every birthday of people he barely remembered himself.

I'd become an expert in loving someone who had never asked for my love,yet the one thing I'd never received in return... was love itself.

“I hate him.” The words escaped before I could stop them.

Marcus smiled sadly “No.”

I frowned. “No?”

“You don't hate him.”

“How can you possibly know that?”

“Because if you hated him..." He looked directly into my eyes. “...his opinion wouldn't still have the power to break your heart.”

His words landed harder than anything Nathaniel had said,I wanted to deny them, Instead... my eyes filled again. “I hate that you're right.”

Marcus reached over carefully with his uninjured hand,his fingers rested lightly over mine,not possessive,not demanding just there,warm,steady and comforting.

“You've spent so long trying to earn scraps of affection,” he said softly. “You don't even know what it feels like to be loved without conditions.”

I swallowed hard. “I wouldn't know where to begin.”

“You don't have to.” His thumb brushed lightly against the back of my hand. “The right people don't make you earn your place.” Silence settled between us again not uncomfortable,just... quiet and peaceful.

Something I hadn't felt in a very long time.

After several minutes, I stood. “I should go.” Marcus nodded. “It's late.”

“If I stay any longer, they'll only have more reasons to talk.”

“They'll talk anyway.”

“I know.”

“But you still want to protect him.”

I gave a tired smile. “I think I've spent my whole life protecting people who never protected me.”

He didn't argue because we both knew it was true, I picked up my handbag. “I'll come by tomorrow.”

“You don't have to.”

“I know,but I want to.”

A small smile tugged at his lips. “I'll hold you to that.” I turned toward the door before stopping,without looking back, I asked quietly, “Were you disappointed?”

“About what?”

“When Nathaniel asked if I loved you…” The room fell silent long enough that I almost regretted asking. Finally... “I was disappointed,” Marcus admitted.

My heart tightened.

“...because he asked the wrong question.” Slowly, I turned around.

Marcus wasn't looking at me anymore,his eyes were fixed on the hospital blanket. “I kept thinking…” He let out a quiet laugh. “...that after everything you've survived... after everything you've endured... he still couldn't see you.”

I watched him…really watched him.

The bruises on his face,the sling supporting his arm and the exhaustion hidden behind his calm expression,he had been run off the road.

He'd spent the evening comforting me instead of complaining about his own pain.

How long had he been doing that?

How long had I been too broken to notice?

“You deserve better than this life, Elena.”

My throat tightened. “So do you.”

He smiled. “I'll survive.”

“I know.”

“You will too.”

I nodded. “I'll try.”

“You don't have to try forever.” His voice grew quieter. “There comes a point when surviving isn't enough anymore.” Neither of us spoke.

The fluorescent lights hummed softly overhead.Outside, nurses walked past the room, their footsteps fading down the corridor,Marcus inhaled slowly then looked at me,there was something different in his eyes,something I'd never seen before or perhaps... something I'd never allowed myself to see.

“I've spent years pretending…” He stopped.

My heartbeat quickened,he looked away again,a muscle flexed in his jaw then he laughed once under his breath, shaking his head. “No.”

“What?”

He forced a smile. “It doesn't matter.”

“It does…” “It really doesn't.”

“Marcus…”

He met my gaze again.

For a second... just one second... it looked as though he was about to say everything,the words sat right there on the edge of his lips,waiting. “I've spent years pretending my feelings were…” He stopped himself, closing his eyes briefly before exhaling. “...simpler than they really are.”

The confession hung between us,neither friendship nor love instead something unfinished and something dangerous.

I couldn't find a single word to answer him Marcus smiled again, but this time it was smaller and almost apologetic.

“You should go home.”

Neither of us mentioned what he hadn't said and neither of us pretended not to hear what he almost had, I nodded slowly then walked out of the room.

As the elevator doors closed, I caught one last glimpse of Marcus through the glass,he was still watching the doorway long after I'd disappeared and for reasons I couldn't explain... my heart felt heavier than when I'd arrived.