Chapter 1: Pleasure to preggy

~Elara~

I was the only twenty year old in the world who had never been properly kissed.

Not properly anyway. Not the kind of kiss that made your toes curl and your brain go quiet.

That was my only thought as I glanced nervously around the party that I'd been forced to attend.

The freshman mixer was mandatory. Three hours of forced mingling in the student center while everyone around me laughed and flirted like it was the easiest thing in the world.

I stood near the exit with a cup of punch, trying to find the easiest way to escape this loud party and go curl up in my bed.

That wasn't until I felt heated eyes on me.

The little hairs on my arms stood up. My heart started beating faster and I didn't understand why, not until I turned my head and met his eyes.

He was standing across the room and he was staring at me like I was a hallucination he was trying to make sense of. His lips were parted and he looked almost pained, as if my existence was hurting him somehow.

He was the most beautiful man I had ever seen.

Dark hair that fell across his forehead. Shoulders broad beneath a black shirt that fit him like it was made for his body. He looked older than the other boys at the party and a bit harder. Like he had seen things and done things that none of us could imagine.

But it was his eyes that pinned me in place. They were dark and they burned with an intensity that made the butterflies in my belly take flight.

An alarm bell began to ring loudly in my head, warming me to run for the hills, but for some reason, I wasn't able to move.

And then, like a puppet pulled by invisible strings, he started walking toward me. All the while, his eyes never left mine.

Up close, he was even more devastating. A faint scar cut through his left eyebrow. His jaw was dusted with stubble.

He stared at me for a long moment without speaking. His chest rose and fell like he was struggling to breathe. His hands were clenched at his sides, as if he was physically stopping himself from reaching for me.

When he finally spoke, his voice was low and rough and wrecked.

"How is this possible?"

I blinked. "What?"

"You." He rasped. "How are you meant for me?"

I didn't understand what he was saying. My brain was screaming at me to run but my body refused to cooperate.

"I don't—" My voice came out shaky. "I don't know what you mean."

He closed his eyes. When he opened them again, they were blazing.

"Neither do I." He sounded almost angry about it. "I've been looking for you my whole life and I didn't even know it until right now."

This was crazy. He was crazy and I needed to leave.

"I should go." I stepped back and bumped into the wall, trapped. "I don't know you."

"No." He stepped closer, erasing the distance I had tried to create. "You don't. But you will."

"That's not—" I was struggling to think. His proximity was scrambling my thoughts. "I don't even know your name."

"Kaelan." He said. "My name is Kaelan."

"Kaelan." The name felt strange on my tongue.

Longing flared in his expression when I said it.

"Say it again."

"Kaelan," I whispered.

He exhaled sharply. His hand lifted and his fingers brushed my cheek. That single movement made electricity shoot through my entire body.

His hand slid from my cheek to the back of my neck, fingers tangling in my hair. "Just one dance. That's all I'm asking."

I should have said no. Every logical part of my brain was begging me to say no.

But my body was already leaning into him. Already craving more of his touch. Already lost to whatever spell he had cast over me.

"Okay."

He led me to the dance floor. His hand found my waist and pulled me close until there was no space left between us.

His arms wrapped around me like he was afraid I would disappear. His lips brushed the top of my head and I felt him inhale deeply, breathing me in.

"You smell like vanilla." He rasped. "It makes me want to lose my mind."

I didn't know how to respond. I had never been held like this. It was overwhelming and terrifying and the most alive I had ever felt.

His hand slid up my spine slowly.

"I'm going to kiss you now." He breathed, tilting my head up to look at him. "Tell me to stop."

I didn't.

His lips crashed into mine and I felt the world around me disappear.

He kissed me like I was water and he had been wandering the desert his entire life. His mouth was hot and demanding and desperate.

My fingers clutched his shirt and my knees buckled. He caught me easily, one arm banding around my waist to hold me up, and he kissed me deeper. Harder. His tongue swept against my lower lip and I opened for him without thinking.

He groaned into my mouth. The sound vibrated through my entire body and settled somewhere low in my stomach. A place that had never been touched before. A place that was suddenly aching.

When he finally pulled back, we were both gasping for air. His eyes were dark and wild and burning with need.

"Come with me." He whispered roughly. "I need to be alone with you. I need to touch you. I need—" He stopped. Swallowed hard. "Please. Come with me."

I knew what he was asking. I knew what would happen if I said yes. It was reckless, stupid, and dangerous.

But I looked into his eyes and I saw something there that made all of that seem irrelevant. Desperation mixed with longing. A need so deep it looked like it was destroying him. And nobody had ever needed me before.

"Yes."

I don't remember walking to his car. I don't remember the drive. It felt like we practically flew to the hotel.

The second the door closed behind us, his mouth was on mine again.

He kissed me against the door. Kissed me while he walked me backward toward the bed. His hands roamed my body like he was memorizing every inch of skin he could reach.

"You're shaking." He pulled back just enough to look at me, concern showing through the hunger in his eyes. "Are you afraid?"

"No."

His thumb traced my lower lip. "We don't have to do this if you're uncomfortable." He cradled my face in his hands. "We can stop. I'll take you home. I'll—"

"I don't want to stop." The words surprised me but they were true. "I want this. I want you."

He groaned like my words physically hurt him.

"You're going to destroy me." He kissed my forehead. My eyelids. The tip of my nose. "You have no idea what you're doing to me."

He lowered me onto the bed gently. His fingers found the hem of my shirt and he paused.

"Can I?"

I nodded.

He undressed me slowly. Each piece of clothing that fell away was followed by his lips exploring the newly exposed skin.

I should have felt self-conscious but the way he looked at me made me feel like a goddess.

"Perfect." He breathed the word against my stomach. "You're so perfect."

His shirt came off next. I touched his chest with trembling fingers. He was built like a Greek god. My hands explored the ridges of his abs, the planes of his shoulders, the trail of dark hair that disappeared beneath his waistband.

He shuddered under my touch.

"Careful." His voice was strained. "I'm barely holding on here."

He removed the rest of our clothes. When there was nothing left between us, he settled his body over mine. I could feel him against my thigh; hard and ready and terrifyingly large.

"This might hurt." He whispered, kissing me softly. "I'll go slow. I promise."

He positioned himself at my entrance and pushed forward just slightly. What he met was stiff resistance and a cry of pain from me.

He stopped, then pulled back to look at me. Understanding dawned in his eyes, followed by something that looked almost like wonder.

"You're a virgin." It wasn't a question. "You've never been with anyone."

I nodded, too embarrassed to speak.

He wiped the tear that had fallen down my cheek with the pad of his thumb and kissed me deeply, tenderly, with none of the desperate hunger from before.

"I'll take care of you." He whispered it against my lips like a vow. "I promise. I'll make this good for you."

He reached down between us, still kissing me. His fingers found the sensitive bundle of nerves at my core and began to stroke. Slowly at first, then faster, building a pressure I had never felt before.

My back arched off the bed. A moan escaped my throat.

"That's it." He watched my face as he worked me higher. "Let go. I've got you."

The pressure built and built until I thought I would collapse. When I finally broke, pleasure crashed over me in waves. I cried out. My nails dug into his shoulders. My whole body trembled.

While I was still floating, he pushed inside me.

There was pain. Sharp and sudden. I gasped and he froze, giving me time to adjust. His forehead was slick with sweat. His arms were shaking with the effort of holding himself still.

"I'm sorry." He kissed the tears that had leaked from the corners of my eyes. "I'm sorry. It will get better. I promise it will get better."

He stayed motionless until the pain faded. Then he began to move.

His thrusts were slow at first; gentle strokes that gradually erased the discomfort and replaced it with something else. Something that made me want more.

"Please." I didn't know what I was asking for. "Kaelan. Please."

He groaned at the sound of his name and began to move faster and deeper.

"You feel incredible." He groaned. "Like you were made for me. Only for me."

He shifted his angle and suddenly the pressure was back, stronger than before. I gasped and clutched at him desperately.

"There." He drawled, smiling as he hit that spot again. And again. "Right there. I've got you."

The pleasure was building toward something massive. Something I didn't know my body was capable of. I was making sounds I had never made before. Whimpers and moans and desperate pleas for something I couldn't name.

"Wait." I gasped, pushing against his chest. "Protection. We need—"

"It's fine." He purred, kissing me deeply. "I can't get you pregnant. Trust me."

I should have pushed harder or at least demanded an explanation. But his hips were moving and his mouth was on my neck and I couldn't think.

He whispered words in a language I didn't recognize. They made my whole body tingle.

Then he thrust deeper and I stopped thinking entirely.

The climax hit me like a wave. It crashed over me and dragged me under and I couldn't breathe. I could only feel the pleasure ripping through every nerve in my body.

He followed a moment later. His whole body tensed as he spilled his seed in me. He buried himself deep and groaned my name like a prayer.

I fell asleep in his arms, feeling more alive and more complete than I had ever felt before.

The next morning, I woke up alone.

His clothes were gone. The room was empty except for my own belongings scattered on the floor.

No note. No explanation. No trace of him at all. Only a card that must have mistakenly fallen beneath the bed in the heat of last night.

I sat on the edge of the bed and stared at the wall and tried to understand what had happened. How I had given myself to someone so completely. How he had looked at me like I was everything and then vanished like I was nothing.

The coming days passed normally as I went about my daily life, choosing not to think about one reckless night.

Three weeks later, I woke up nauseous. Then again the next day. And the day after that. And to crown it all, my period was late.

I decided to visit the hospital to find out if I'd gotten some sort of STD, but maybe an STD would have been better than this news that the doctor had just announced to me.

I sat in the campus health center with my hands shaking and my heart in my throat. The doctor's voice seemed to come from very far away.

"The test is positive." She said, smiling like this was good news. "Congratulations. You're pregnant."