Chapter 7

~Silver

I just froze bevause I could not move my body even if I wanted to. My entire brain stopped working and my heart went mad inside my chest. I could feel it pounding so hard that I thought the entire dining room could hear it.

I could feel it in my throat like something was crawling inside me. Something wet and sharp that wanted to claw out. My hands trembled and my legs threatened to give out completely but I forced myself to stay standing even though I was certain that if I let go of the table I would collapse on the floor like a rag.

I did not know what to do or what to think or what to feel because the sight in front of me was not something I had expected. Caspian was standing. Standing on his own legs! Not using the wheelchair or leaning or even shaking.

He was upright and perfect and very strong. His shoulders were square, his back straight and his legs looking exactly like they used to before the accident it seems. I could not believe my eyes.

For a moment I thought I was dreaming. I could not breathe properly and my chest felt too tight. My lungs felt like they were being squeezed by a hand I could not see.

And Bastian! His eyes were alive. He was looking around and his eyes were moving like they were seeing the room for the first time like he was tasting the world again with them.

My chest gave another painful squeeze because I realized I might have been wrong all along. He has been seeing for a while now. He has been present for who knows how long and I never noticed.

My throat tightened more and I wanted to scream but no sound came out.

I wanted to run but my feet felt cemented to the floor. I wanted to curse them, I wanted to rip their faces off, I wanted to throw myself at them and just scream my soul out but I couldn’t. I just watched.

I watched as I got betrayed again. By my second chance mate and husband.

Caspian’s eyes landed on Viola and there was guilt in them. I could see it in the slight furrow of his brow and the hesitation in his lips but it was so faint. The second he saw Viola, that guilt vanished under a flood of happiness.

He smiled and it was real smile. The kind that lights up a room and makes everything around it irrelevant. I could feel the punch of it in my chest. It made my stomach turn and my legs weaker.

Bastian, on the other hand did not even pretend. He looked at me like I was a cockroach he was forced to step over. The hatred in his eyes was heavy and sharp.

I could feel it scrape over my skin. I wanted to ask him what I had done and what I had ever done to deserve that look but the words got stuck in my throat.

I opened my mouth to speak and nothing came out. I wanted to vomit. I wanted to cry. I wanted to collapse. I wanted to disappear!!

Caspian stepped forward careful in a way that made me feel like I was not supposed to exist in the same space as him.

“Silver” he said softly almost like an apology like he was afraid to say it too loud. “Viola is my mate. She left because of the accident. She could not handle it then but she is back now. She wants me and she loves me. I still love her too.”

I still could not breathe and he is saying those things. My heart felt like it was being ripped out and stomped on.

I could not even form a thought. I could not understand why he was standing there, explaining something that did not need explaining to me.

He did not need to explain it. I knew he did not love me. I had always known but I had hopes. Yyet seeing it like this, him standing and whole and looking at someone else like she was the only thing in the world that mattered, made something inside me shatter in slow motion.

I wanted him even while he was on whellchair while she came because he is able to stand. Can’t he see?

Viola smiled and stepped closer to him, her hand brushing against his chest like it belonged there. Her smile was soft and gentle and full of warmth and possession

“I never stopped loving you, Cas.” she whispered and then she leaned forward and kissed him right there in front of me.

My legs were threatening to give out entirely. My knees trembled and my hands gripped the table like they were trying to hold me upright against some invisible force.

Bastian’s voice broke through before I could collapse.

“I am not in the mood for mate games. I do not need a mate. I do not want one.” he said flatly, coldly like he was cutting me off at the knees.

I watched looking pale as Caspian wrapped his arms around Viola like she was everything he had ever wanted, like she had saved him from drowning and like she had given him the life I had never been able to give him.

Bastian looked at me one last time, his eyes full of disgust and rejection and then he turned and walked away. I could hear my own heart breaking in the silence he left behind.

My knees had turned to jelly but I forced myself to stay standing because I had nowhere to go and nothing to hold on to. I was alone. Completely and utterly alone.

And then that was when it hit me. The fluttering inside of me like a tiny kick inside me. My hand flew to my stomach without thinking.

A baby?

Oh my God. Sarah had been right. She said I was going to need a physician soon.

Tears burned my eyes but refused to fall. My chest felt hollow and heavy at the same time. I could not do anything except stand there and feel it. The baby kicked again and I felt something stir inside me that I had never felt before.

I wanted to throw myself at the ground and beat my fists against it until the pain left me empty. But I could not.

I just stood there and let the world crash around me while my baby kicked inside me for the first time and my body reminded me that life could go on even when my soul felt like it was bleeding in a thousand invisible cuts.

I swallowed hard and forced my knees to stop shaking. I forced my trembling hands to let go of the table. I wanted to disappear but I could not.

I looked at the spot where Caspian had been standing. He was wrapped in Viola’s arms now, smiling, laughing and perfect. I looked at the space where Bastian had been and it was empty but full of cold hatred and disgust.

And I realized that from now on I could only rely on myself. Only myself and the small life growing inside me.

I swallowed the sob stuck in my throat, took a deep shuddering breath and tried to make my legs hold me upright even though they wanted to give out completely.

I did not know how long I stood there. Minutes maybe or house. I only knew that I was alone. Betrayed again for the second time but this hurts way deeper.

I’m also carrying something that no one in this room would ever respect or care for.

The baby kicked again and for the first time, despite everything, I let my lips twitch in the tiniest almost invisible smile. Maybe the world had betrayed me but this tiny life had not.

This tiny life had no idea what kind of kings had made it exist and had no concept of the hatred amd betrayal around it. Maybe we could survive.

I guess I have something to look forward to now.