LILY

I forced myself to breathe, slow and steady, until my heartbeat steadied into something less violent. My hands were still trembling, but I splashed water on my face once more, pressing my palms against my cheeks as if I could push all the fear back inside.

“You’re fine,” I whispered to myself. “It’s just stress. You’re fine.”

Stress. Lack of sleep. The smell. Anything.

Anything but the truth I wasn’t ready to acknowledge.

When I stepped back onto the floor, the noise of the bar swallowed me immediately — clinking glasses, low chatter, the sizzle of something frying in the kitchen. Everything carried on as if the world hadn’t tilted sideways for me in that restroom.

Emma spotted me almost immediately. She was wiping down the counter, but her eyes locked onto my face like she could read every thought I wasn’t saying.

“Lily?” She set the rag down, brows knitting with worry. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

I forced a tight smile. “Just… got woozy. The smell of the garlic soup hit me wrong.”

Emma frowned. “Garlic’s never made you sick before.”

I shrugged, trying to downplay the panic building under my ribs. “Guess today’s just not my day.”

She stepped closer, lowering her voice. “You sure you’re okay? You’re shaking.”

“I’m fine.”

I wasn’t fine.

But I wanted to be. That had to count for something.

I picked up my tray again before she could argue further.

But by the time I reached table six, the room tilted sharply, like the floor had suddenly become a wave rising beneath my feet. The tray slipped from my hands before I even realized it was sliding. Plates and glasses crashed against the floor, shattering into a loud, violent mess.

Conversations stopped. Heads turned. My chest tightened.

“Oh my God, Lily?” Emma called out.

I stumbled back, reaching for the nearest chair, but my vision blurred, edges turning dark. Sounds faded into a dull roar. My knees buckled.

I would’ve hit the floor if someone hadn’t caught me under the arms.

“Easy…hey—whoa, I got you!”

Emma’s voice. Panicked. Close.

I blinked rapidly, trying to steady the spinning world, but it wouldn’t stop.

“I-I don’t…” My voice cracked. “I just got dizzy.”

“You’re burning up,” Emma whispered. “And you’re pale as a sheet.”

“I just need a second.”

“No,” she said firmly. “You’re going to sit down before you pass out completely.”

She guided me to a booth, the one in the far corner that was usually empty at this hour. I sagged into the seat, leaning forward with my elbows on the table as my head throbbed. My hands were shaking so badly I tucked them under the table.

Emma crouched in front of me, her hand landing gently on my knee.

“Lily,” she said softly, “you’re scaring me. What’s going on?”

I swallowed hard. “I don’t know.”

“Is this the first time you’ve felt like this?”

I hesitated. A beat too long.

Her eyes narrowed. “Lily.”

My breath hitched. “I… I’ve been nauseous. A lot. But I thought it was the stress. Or not eating enough.”

“Have you been skipping meals?”

“No, I just…sometimes the food doesn’t stay down.”

“And the dizziness?”

“That’s new,” I whispered.

She sighed and stood up. “Okay. That’s it. You’re going to the clinic.”

I straightened instantly. “No, Emma, I can’t—”

“You can. You’re going.”

“I can’t afford it.”

She waved a dismissive hand. “It’s a free walk-in clinic. And even if it wasn’t, I’d drag you there kicking and screaming. Come on.”

I opened my mouth to argue, but the room tilted again, and the world dimmed around the edges.

I closed my mouth.

“Fine,” I whispered. “Just… help me stand.”

Emma slipped her arm around my waist, guiding me carefully as I stood. The eyes of half the bar followed us, but for once, I didn’t care about being watched. The cold evening air hit me as soon as we stepped outside, but it did nothing to clear the fog settling into my head.

The clinic was only four blocks away, but the walk felt like miles. By the time we arrived, my legs were trembling.

Inside, the brightness made me squint. We checked in, and after a painfully long wait, a nurse finally called my name.

Emma squeezed my hand. “I’m coming in with you.”

I didn’t argue.

The exam room was small, cold, and smelled faintly of antiseptic. I perched on the edge of the cot, hands clasped tightly in my lap, while Emma sat in the chair beside me.

The doctor walked in a moment later, a middle-aged woman with kind eyes and a calm demeanor.

“Lily?” she said, checking her chart. “You’re feeling dizzy and nauseous?”

I nodded.

“For how long?”

I hesitated. “A few weeks.”

Emma shot me a side-eye. “Try a month.”

The doctor looked at me knowingly. “Have you been vomiting?”

“Yes.”

“Any abdominal pain?”

“No.”

“Headaches? Fatigue?”

“Yes. Both.”

She nodded once, jotting down notes.

Then she asked the question I’d been dreading.

“When was your last menstrual cycle?”

My blood ran cold.

My mouth opened… but no words came out.

I stared at the linoleum floor as silence stretched thin and uncomfortable.

Finally, I whispered, “…I don’t know.”

The doctor exchanged a quiet glance with Emma. “Do you have a reason to believe you might be pregnant?”

I stiffened. Emma turned to me quickly. “Lily?”

My voice was barely a breath. “…I don’t know.”

But I did know. Deep down, the possibility had been curling inside me like a shadow I was too afraid to look at.

The doctor gave a gentle smile, not judgmental, not surprised. “Let’s do a simple test. It’ll take a few minutes.”

She handed me a small plastic cup and pointed toward the restroom.

My hands shook the entire way there.

Inside, I closed the door and leaned against it, my eyes stinging. My breathing was uneven, shallow. I stared at the cup in my hands, my fingers trembling around the smooth plastic.

If I’m pregnant… If that night…

My knees went weak, and I steadied myself against the sink.

I forced myself to do the test.

When I returned, the doctor took the cup, smiling reassuringly.

“Give me ten minutes.”

Ten minutes felt like an eternity.

Emma sat beside me, her fingers tapping anxiously against her thigh. “Lily… if you are, I’ll help you. You won’t be alone.”

I swallowed hard. “I’m scared.”

“I know.”

“What if… what if it’s his?” My voice cracked.

Emma’s expression softened. “We’ll figure it out. One day at a time, okay?”

I nodded, wiping at my eyes.

The door opened.

The doctor stepped in, holding the little white test strip in her hand.

My heart stopped.

She closed the door gently behind her and approached me with a softness I wasn’t ready for.

“Lily,” she said in a calm, steady voice that somehow made everything worse, “the test came back positive.”

My breath caught.

Positive.

Positive.

The word echoed in my skull, too big, too loud, too real. My vision blurred as tears welled up instantly.

“I… I’m…” My voice cracked into a whisper. “…pregnant?”

She nodded. “Yes, sweetheart. Two months even.”

A sob tore out of me, sharp and broken. Emma wrapped her arms around me instantly, pulling me against her shoulder as I cried not softly, not gracefully, but with every piece of fear, confusion, and pain I’d buried for months.

The doctor gave us space.

My voice shook uncontrollably. “What am I supposed to do?”

Emma held me tighter. “We’ll figure it out. I promise. You’re not alone, Lily. Not anymore.”

But even wrapped in her arms, I felt the world shifting beneath me, the weight of a future I hadn’t planned rooting itself inside me.

And somewhere beneath the panic, beneath the fear…

A tiny, fragile hope flickered.