Chapter 29: New Beginnings

Max found her that evening sitting on their bedroom floor, surrounded by wedding magazines that appeared to have erupted across the carpet. Glossy pages with beautiful centrepieces and luxury costumes formed a jumble of white, ivory, and pastel colours that appeared to mock her rising sensation of overwhelm.

"How many different flowers exist in the world?" she enquired, her gaze fixed on a magazine spread depicting seventeen various bouquet alternatives.

"Too many, apparently," Max explained, carefully stepping past the magazines to sit alongside her on the floor.

"Elena says we need to secure a location immediately because the best ones are booked a year in advance, but I'm not sure what kind of wedding we want. Bigger or smaller? Traditional or modern? Spring or autumn? Church, garden, or hotel ballroom? Don't get me started on the catering possibilities."

Max pushed a few magazines aside to make room, then sat cross-legged facing her. "What do you want?"

"I want to marry you without having to decide between seventeen distinct hues of ivory that all look the same to me. I want to be your wife without having to coordinate serviette colours with floral arrangements or worry about whether Aunt Margaret will like our music choices."

"Then let's elope."

Grace glanced at him intently, looking for clues that he was joking. "Are you serious?"

"Why not?" We could go to the courts next week and then throw a reception for relatives and friends. Skip the worry and continue the celebration."

"How about Elena?" She has been preparing to be my maid of honour since college. She already has three outfit ideas and a P*******t board dedicated to our hypothetical wedding."

"Elena can organise the celebration. She'd probably prefer that anyway…….all the excitement of event preparation without the stress of a once-in-a-lifetime ceremony."

Grace examined the notion, picturing a small ceremony with only the two of them and whatever witnesses the courthouse required. 

There were no seating charts involving complex family dynamics, no floral arrangements costing more than their monthly rent, and no difficult timelines that required military precision to complete.

"My dad would be disappointed. He's already preparing his father-of-the-bride speech."

"Would you be disappointed?"

Grace pondered the subject, attempting to distinguish between what she truly desired and what she believed she should want. "No. I guess I'd feel relieved. "All of this," she waved at the magazines littered around them, "seems to be about everyone else's expectations rather than what we actually care about."

Max grinned, and the emotion in his eyes made her tummy flutter even after months of seeing

the identical smile across their breakfast table. "Then let us do it. "We can marry quietly and celebrate loudly."

"When?"

"Next week, if you wish. We merely need to secure a licence and find a court time slot."

"What would we wear?"

"Something makes us joyful. "Something that feels like us."

Grace felt excitement rise in her chest, replacing the worry that had grown with each wedding magazine she flipped through. "We might have a lovely meal afterwards. "Only the two of us."

"Or we could come home and order takeaway and spend the afternoon in bed as married people."

"That sounds perfect."

"Which part?"

"All of it." The short ceremony, the peaceful celebration, the takeaway, and the afternoon in bed. "I want our wedding to feel like us, not like a show for others."

Max reached for her hands, bringing her nearer until their knees touched. "Grace, it doesn't matter if we marry in a courtroom, a church, or a filling station parking lot. I just want to get engaged to you."

"Even though my father might go to federal prison and my relationship with him is complicated?"

"Especially due to that. "I want to be the person you come home to when family situations become overwhelming."

"Even though I spent weeks questioning whether our relationship was psychologically healthy?"

"Especially due to that. I want to marry someone who is concerned enough about our relationship to examine it from every imaginable perspective."

"Even if I keep questioning things? I might experience periods of doubt, insecurity, or overthinking?"

Max leaned closer and kissed her gently. "Grace, I want to marry you for who you are, not despite it. 

I'm not willing to overlook your weaknesses, such as your propensity to overthink things, your complex connection with your father, or your will to comprehend everything that happens to you. They contribute to the fact that you are someone I want to live with forever.

"Really?"

Indeed. I fell in love with a person who challenges conventional wisdom and doesn't settle for easy answers. Why would I wish to wed a different person?

Tears started to drop down behind Grace's eyes, but they were tears of joy, not bitterness. "I love you, Max Walker."

"I love you too, future Mrs. Walker."

"I love you too, future wife whose name I'll remember to write correctly on all the legal documents."

For the remainder of the evening, they worked on basic wedding preparations. While Grace called Elena to express their decision and invite her to the post-wedding celebration they planned for later, Max researched the prerequisites for the courts.

Elena exclaimed, "Thank God," as Grace described their courthouse layout. "I love you, but I was not looking forward to helping you choose between eighteen different venues that all serve the same overpriced chicken."

"You're not disappointed about the maid of honour thing?"

"I'm relieved, honey. I can now organise a party without worrying about if the decorations will be accepted by your great-aunt. 

Rather than juggling everyone else's expectations, we can concentrate on celebrating your marriage."

Grace and Max remained on their couch after the call ended, compiling a list of the people they wanted to invite to their celebration party. Max's parents, Elena and a few close friends, and, tentatively, her father, depending on his legal status, made up the shorter list than either of them had anticipated.

"It's going to be a small party," Grace thought.

"All right. It's more fun to have small parties. Instead of merely having courteous conversations, everyone truly gets to speak with one another.

"What if people think we're being anti-social or excluding them?"

"Do they not get the concept that we're planning our wedding based on what makes us joyous, not what makes other people relaxed."

Grace found herself considering the various ways to celebrate love as they got ready for bed. Although the lavish weddings depicted in magazines weren't incorrect, not everyone found them to be ideal. While some people required quiet intimacy to feel genuine, others needed large ceremonies to feel married.

"Max," she continued, "are you certain you don't want a traditional wedding?" They brushed their teeth together at their tiny bathroom sink. The sort that includes your grandmother's dinnerware, a reception, and groomsmen?"

I am sure. Are you certain you don't want the dress, flowers, and the first dance?

I am sure. I want to marry you in a way that feels right for us."

"Then that's what we are going to do."

Staring at Max in the bathroom mirror, Grace realised that this was what satisfaction felt like……….not the absence of problems or complications, but the presence of someone who made her to be fully herself even during times of doubts.