Chapter Six

He Needs A Mother, Aayan.

Aayan's Pov.

It has been almost two days since Azaan became sick and now he is much better.

I need a gift of apology for Zahir and his fiancée, Sameera, because I couldn't attend their engagement due to Azaan getting sick. Still, my mother came to visit, putting my plans to go out on hold.

"Asalam Aleikum, my son. How are you?", my mother Leila says to me. I know why she is here. She wants me to get married again for my son's sake, but what they don't know is the fact that I don't believe in anything, not even love.

"Waleikum salaam, mum. Am I good and you? What are you doing here?" I ask her, handing her a glass of juice that Farwa prepared for her.

Farwa is like a mother to me. She has always been there for me, and when I got married to Zainab, I asked her to come and live with us.

"Can't I just visit my son and grandson without any problem? I heard he wasn't feeling well, that's why I came to see him", she innocently answered, but I knew what her real motive was for me to get married.

Each time she visits me, she brings pictures of girls for me to choose from, but I don't want to get married, not now, not ever.

"Mum...."

"Grandma...."

We were interrupted by small footsteps coming toward us in the living room where we were seated.

Azaan walked straight to his grandma hugging her. Mum looked at me while she picked him up and put him in his lap.

"What's the matter, Azaan?" Mum asks him, but all he did was shake his head.

"Azaan, it is time for your medicines and food", Farwa called out to him but he kept hiding under Mum's arms.

"Go on Azaan. Go eat and become big like your father", Mum tries to get him to do what he is supposed to do, but knowing how stubborn my son can be, that wouldn't happen anytime soon, maybe not. "Go ahead, I will buy you your favourite ice cream, " Mum added, making him jump off her lap and head over to Farwa, who was waiting for him.

Azaan jumped into her arms and they walked away to the kitchen.

"This is what I mean when I say that he needs a mother Aayan. Do it for him, if not for you. Just think about it. Here, if you are ready to look at it. I have to go now. I will see you later", she told me putting an envelope on the table that consisted of a girl's picture but I couldn't take it.

I couldn't let another woman in my life after what happened to my Zainab.

Flashback

It was our second anniversary when she found out that we were expecting. We were so happy to hear that after the doctors told us that she couldn't have a baby.

But due to Allah's grace, we are having a baby. Months went by, everything was perfect.

She was perfect.

After three years, Azaan was born, and Zainab began feeling sick and decided to go to the doctor but what we couldn't comprehend is that she has cancer.

Leukemia. Blood cancer.

Our happiness was short-lived when the doctors told us that there was no treatment for her.

I was devastated because I knew that Azaan would not remember her but Zainab had other ways of letting our son remember her.

Through videos and letters.

Before her death, she called me to talk. She knew that her time was almost gone.

"Aayan, could you promise me something? Please", she asked me holding my hand.

I shook my head blinking away the tears that were forming in my eyes.

"Promise me that you will fall in love again and our son will have a mother with him. She should be able to love him and care for him unconditionally. Don't worry, Allah will send you a sign and you will know it is her. She is pure and warm. She is everything that our Azaan will ever need apart from you, habibi. I love you and our son very much. Don't ever forget that Azaan needs you. I have to go now, I am sorry that I couldn't stay for a long time," she tells me smiling."One more thing, never stop believeing in Allah", she added.

I knew that she had little time. I had to promise her even though I didn't know if I could keep the promise.

She said her shahadah and smiled at me closing her eyes.

For each of his birthdays, there's a letter and a video for him that I played and read to him. When she died, everything in me died with her.

I couldn't bear to get married to anyone else.

End Of Flashback.

Each time, I remember the promise I couldn't help but feel guilty for all those girls I rejected because I was breaking her promise.

I took the envelope that Mum left and went to my room but before I could open it, Azaan walked in.

I kept it aside, telling myself that I might open it later. I looked at my son was almost 5 years old now and he will need a mother's love and guidance.

The things which I can't give him.

Mum and Zainab were right about what they told me but maybe I wasn't ready for that I knew that Azaan needed a mother.

"I will try and do my best, my son. Just for you", I tell Azaan kissing his forehead promising that I will do my best just for his sake.