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Hiraeth
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The Us Between Chaos Fernweh
I am baffled about what to do about my feelings. Everything seems to happen way too fast as if someone clicked the eight times speed on my life. I suddenly achieved all of my goals and dreams in a span of a year. Mom suddenly returned to normal as if she had never suffered a stroke. Paris suddenly became responsible as if she was never lazy. And about dad? Enzo, Kurt, and Arnie all seem unreal, dad having his own company. I cannot digest this all. Having someone like Jarred around seems unreal, too; no one would just take care of you like that except your own mom if you're lucky enough to have a loving mother like that.Being one of the rising writers is unbelievable. I can travel anywhere I want with my mom and sister without worrying about money. It was just so surreal. I walked towards the stairs; I called Jarred last night and asked him to meet me today; I have something to discuss that I think only Jarred would understand. I saw mom and Paris sitting on the couch, watching me w
The Us Between Chaos Ghost of yesterday
After some time of thinking and processing all of the things that happened to me this year, I decided to just push my luck further. I mean, mom recovered, she and Paris is my top priority, but now that I have already given them the things they needed without me needing to worry about almost everything, I think a little heartache from someone won't wreck me.I messaged Hade to meet me at the restaurant where we first met when he woke up from a comma. I told him that I had reserved the same room and the same time for us to meet up. It was still dawn, and I hadn't been sleeping yet. I don't know, but I feel sad these days and keep overthinking things. I am aloof to almost everyone but trying not to be obvious, so I don't have to explain things.I took off the comforter out of my lower body and stood up. I walked to my balcony and sat there. I stared at the dark sky—the moon was shining alone; I could not see any stars.I want to risk it; I'll tell Hade later that I like him, and then wha
The Us Between Chaos Dream Reality
We walked around the hospital ground. The right side of the hospital was a golf course, while the left side was the hospital buildings. We watched the old man and lady play on the trail as we walked. They seemed like they were enjoying their lives to the fullest. I smiled as I watched them, mom should be doing that these times with her friends, but I ruined it. She was lying flat on her hospital bed. "What do you want to talk about, Sydney?" Hade asked. I looked at him and instantly looked away. I shouldn't be doing this, and I know deep down why I wanted to tell Hade how I feel, although I'm in this complex situation. We're not using him again as a distraction. I glanced at Hade and smiled at him as I shook my head. He stopped and stared at me. I stopped walking and walked back toward him. "You don't have to rush it, Sydney. I'm willing to wait this time." He smiled. My mouth slightly hung open, I was about to say something, but no voice came out. I stared at Hade's face, and he l
The Us Between Chaos Cockaigne
I stared at the end of the aisle and saw Hade staring at me with tears in his eyes. Hade smiled as I took my first step on this red carpet. I never thought that I'll look good in a White dress. Every step I took, I saw images of us, how we met, and spent every second, minute, hour, day, and month together. I stared at Hade's face remembering every detail. He looked so happy, and I could never ask for anything else.When I reached the end of the aisle, I smiled at him and walked toward him and smiled. I mouthed congrats before I walked to the side to give way to his bride. I watched you shift your gaze to your bride, how your smile changed when she started walking toward you, and how the crowd cheered for her. The ceremony started, and just like my usual stay at church, I felt sick; I needed to get out of here, but I didn't want people to say that I hadn't moved on yet. It has been four years. Four years had passed, and he moved on, and I'm glad he found the love he needed.When the c
The Us Between Chaos Epilogue
Paris' P.O.V.Mom recovered her speech now. She can have a normal conversation without stuttering or just using one to three words. But still can't move her left hand. Dad changed. He was like a new person, like a freshly born. After I graduated from high school, Dad returned to the Philippines. He ran a food business which was actually a hit, just like how you imagined it would turn out. Dad quit drinking alcohol and looked much more healthy than ever. He and mom were running the business. And their relationship was far from how we saw it. It became better than ever.I took Architectural, just like how we planned for our future, and I graduated as Laude. Who's stupid now, Sydney? I remember we were talking about it when you asked me what my future would be, and we both stayed quiet for a while thinking about our future. One night, we decided to stay up and eat midnight snacks. We sneaked outside while mom was sleeping and bought food on 7/11. We stayed on the roof watching the moon
The Us Between Chaos Sun set as the moon began to rise
I stared out my window as the rain poured. I wonder why some people find peace and calmness in the rain. I hate rain because they ruin my plans, my shoes, my outfit, and I can’t see the sun. Just like men, for me, they are hindrances, and I always need to carry something to protect me when they are around. Just like the rain, I always have to carry an umbrella so that I won't get wet. But Tycen? He’s different. I met different guys in my 19 years of existence, but this is the first time I have met someone like him. Someone who doesn't talk big, he never did try to impress me with cheesy pick-up lines or long paragraphs. He didn't try to portray himself as a perfect person; he made mistakes and never rushed things with me. He’s a puzzle, I’m not too fond of mystery, but he’s so mesmerizing, which makes me wonder if I can solve it. Sometimes I know him, but sometimes not. He reminds me of the moon. Only his little part was seen. Can I do this? Am I able to tell him what I felt for him
The Us Between Chaos The red string
Today is the year 2021, the month of February. Three months passed since I last talked to Tycen. I’ve been so busy but made sure to have time to hate my life. “Ate, I got a message from Tito Lan; they’re going to visit us today!” Paris yelled. See? I’m such a busy person, but I make sure that I always have time to complain. I ran towards the living room and picked up the broom at the back of our front door when I suddenly saw my mom—looking at me as if I was about to be beheaded because of my sins. I relaxed my body and smiled at her. She was trying to look normal like before. She smiled back and put her left hand on the wall for support while walking limply, going back to her room. I still can’t get used to seeing mom looking like that, unable to spit out words she wanted to say. I always needed her when I feel troubled, her words are my medicine, and now I’m getting worst since I’ve been skipping my meds. After I cleaned the living room, I immediately entered my room, grabbed all
The Us Between Chaos Deal or No deal?
”Sydney, they’re here!’ Paris shouted. I drop the broom and dustpan, rush outside the room, and welcome our uncle and his wife. Mom was walking out of her room, slowly walking towards us. I came near her and helped her walk stably. ”We bring foods to eat on our way here, don’t bother to cook.”, Uncle Lan said. Paris quickly grabs it and prepares it in the kitchen. ”How are you feeling, my dearest sister?” uncle asked enthusiastically. Mom smiled genuinely. ”Good, good.”, she answered while looking at me, asking if she answered correctly. I smiled at her and mouthed very well. She has Aphasia, a condition that makes her unable to communicate. It’s the side effect of the stroke. ”How is it going, Syd?” my uncle asked me. I sat properly. ”So far, so good, uncle. We’re going back to the hospital for more follow-up checkups. This month we are scheduled for laboratory tests.”, I answered. Mom was admitted to the hospital one year ago due to a stroke. We’ve been at the hospital for al
Latest chapter
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