Bad Decisions

The headache hit me before the nausea did. A thrumming pulse vibrating through my skull with every pump of my heart. Instinctively I grabbed my phone, wondering how it's possible to have such a hangover on a full moon, the only time where I was supposed to be more animal than human. When I opened my phone, there were only messages from my bank, notifying me of every transaction I had made. Fucking hell. I groaned and turned over in my bed, the cool sheets giving me some relief from my headache induced fever. Half my fucking savings, gone. No wonder I felt like death itself. Mikaela and I had almost emptied the club of its liquor last night. Just as I tried rolling into a more comfortable position, my stomach lurched. All of last night's wrong decisions came flooding me. My stomach cramped as my eyes struggled to reel themselves in from the room spinning too much. So much alcohol was left in my body. Too much, even by wolf standards.

My feet slapped onto the cold tiles as I dashed for the attached bathroom, making it just in time. Vomit erupted from not only my mouth but my nose. Short black curls fell to a stop next to my mouth as bright yellow colored vomit splashed into the toilet bowl. I heaved, sending up another splash of pungent liquid, burning every part of my throat. I could almost taste every individual alcoholic shot I had taken last night. The last taste on my tongue was regret.

"I would ask if you are pregnant, but we all know you hate the idea so much your body won't even try and secure a baby in there." My mother chuckled from the door. I simply groaned at her and heaved again, sending thousands of Rands worth of alcohol splashing into the bowl once more. Dry heaves started wracking my body. My chest started aching from the motion and my head still spun. What a lovely morning to have, don't you think? "Serves you right, baby girl. You know your wolf hates drinking." She cooed and crouched next to me. Tears flooded my eyes from the constant burning in my throat. The acid taste in my mouth. Loving hands wiped them away. "Lunch is in twenty minutes." She murmured and stood, almost all of her sympathy gone in the blink of an eye.

"Thanks mom." I stammered and reached for the toilet paper. She simply smiled at me and left, leaving me to regret every single decision I made last night. Most of my money had been blown on a stupid night out, all because I couldn't handle my anger. Or my willingness to drown my sorrows in copious amounts of alcohol. My ability of foolishness and recklessness sometimes even surprised me.

Lunch had gone by painfully slow. Mom insisted that we eat outside every Sunday. A family tradition that would otherwise be pleasant, except for today. No other pack members had joined, thanks to my father shooing them away, but the bright sunlight made for an angry headache. Sunglasses weren't permitted, as father wanted to look us all in the eyes when he spoke. He had been a tyrant most of my life, but I never thought him as cruel until now. Maybe I had thought him cruel before then, when he was training me relentlessly to rid me of my weakness, but I only had strength to be unhappy about his cruelty now. In the present. What could my bitterness change about the past? Jasper hadn't joined us today. Father had sent my older brother on some diplomatic meeting I didn't care to remember. Sophie was beside mother, talking endlessly about how good her studies were going. Father insisted that she be well read and mannered for her future mate. My younger sister didn't receive half the training I did.

Stopping my mind from wandering any further, I perked up a bit and dared to ask. "Do you guys know what happened to Mikaela after last night?" Mother looked as if she was physically harmed and averted her gaze to my father. The greying man chewed a few more times before setting down his fork. His grey eyes watched me closely, to evaluate how I would take what he was about to say. Mom always told me I got my father's temper. his lack of control over his emotions. That's why he was the toughest on me. Because he cared, in some way, for my well being. Didn't want my husband to take my lack of control as a sign of disobedience.

"Something very disturbing happened this morning. Her parents are keeping her under close observation, as to ensure she wasn't harmed," my father explained, but vaguely. His face didn't betray anything else. No other clues, so I pressed.

"What could have possibly happened?" My voice broke a bit by the end, conveying my clear concern. The girl was mine to protect. Only the worst scenarios played out within my mind. If she was hurt because I hadn't done my job of shielding her, the guilt would eat me up.

"Nothing to concern yourself with dear, let her family and the guards deal with this one, okay?" Mother asked and sipped some of her orange juice. Her golden blonde hair shined in the afternoon sunlight, green eyes watching me keenly. They knew I was a bomb about to be set off. They never could understand why Mikaela meant so much to me. Didn't see that every time my father broke another piece of my soul, she was there to fix it. Only Mikaela. Never anyone else. She was the only one who cared enough to ensure I was fine. My band-aid in life.

"I have to go," I said, wiping my mouth with a napkin and standing. The calm I felt this morning vanished. Concern trickled into my mind, rage seeping in just beneath. If it was serious enough to bring in the guards, it was serious enough for me to pay her a visit as well. Parents be damned.

"Luciana, sit down!" My father bellowed as I threw my napkin on my half-eaten plate. I smiled sweetly at him, but walked quickly to the back door. Father will have a lot more to say once I return, so I'll have to make sure I didn't return for a while.

Sophie trailed behind me for a few seconds longer. Her steps were hurried to keep up with my pace. Mother must have sent her, knowing I wouldn't take out my anger on her. How could I when she was almost like my first child? My breathing became ragged as I jumped from one bad situation to another. This wasn't something I could stop or control. What was happening to me occurred frequently enough that I thought it was just a personality trait. Overthinking. Overanalyzing. "Luciana. Breathe. Nothing bad happened." She tried consoling me, but my mind was far from her words. "Lucy!" Sophie yelled from behind me. I spun on my heel and faced her. Seeing the worry and anger in my face, Sophie took a step back, eyes wide.

"What?" The girl flinched.

"She's fine." Sophie breathed and fluttered her eyelashes at me. For a 17 year old, she was already well developed with golden hair and pale green eyes. Some of her features came from my father, but none of her personality traits did. That was all my mother. Sophie was smothered in love most of her life. Never knew anything except a few smacks on the hand when she dared cross a line. I took the brunt of who my father was. Of who my mother refused to be. No one protected me, but everyone did her. No one protected Mikaela, but I did.

"How would you know?" I shot back. The question took her aback. For a moment she contemplated telling me, reluctance in the way she shook her head slightly. Sophie didn't want word getting out about most things that happened in her life. This looked to be much of the same.

"Her brother told me." She whispered and shied away from me. I simply rolled my eyes, not caring as to why they spoke at all. Even if they were dating in secret, it was not any of my business, nor did I intend to make it my business. I smiled slightly at her. A thank you for her trying to bring me to my senses. She wrapped her arms around herself and nodded in the direction of Mikaela's home and I was off.

I reached her house in five minutes flat. Not caring that my body was protesting the strain. Not even acknowledging the burning sensation within my lungs. When I burst through the door, her mother was sitting in the living room, watching television. "Luciana!" The lady gasped and aimed to stand, but I was too fast, knowing well enough where Mika's room was. My feet climbed the stairs two at a time. I could hear her mother running behind me. "Mikaela is in no shape to see anyone right now!" She yelled but I didn't want to hear the rest. It was bratty and childish of me to do, but impulse control had never been one of my strongest points. Besides, her mother rarely ever let me come into the house. Bad influence, that's what they called me. I usually came in from Mikaela's window.

Her door was open, letting a slight breeze dance through her room between her window and door. Mikaela's back was turned to me, her head bobbing with the music in her ears. She seemed fine. More than fine. Better off than I felt this morning.

"Luciana!" Her mother screamed one last time, making the girl snap her neck towards where I stood. The woman slid into the room and all I could smell on her was disgust. Probably towards me. Mikaela smiled lighting up the room like she always did when she saw me. She was in yoga pants and a branded purple tee. Messy strands of hair fell from the bun she had put it in, but someone had never looked more beautiful to me.

"Hey Lucy, I'm glad to see you aren't dying." She giggled, scrunching up her nose the way she always did when she was caught off-guard. The moment was cut short, her eyes landed behind me. "Mother." Was all she bit out before the woman shrugged her off and tugged me at the elbow.

"We appreciate you looking after our daughter, Luciana, but what we don't appreciate is you corrupting her." The woman huffed, puffing her chest out. The motion was another way to try and intimidate me. As an Omega, my wolf might have been smaller, but I certainly wasn't, making the old crone look pathetic in her attempt. "I already spoke to your parents. You aren't allowed in this house again. Not after what happened last night." She stated and pointed to the door.

"Mother, leave her alone." Mika whined and stood. I saw her mating necklace dangle from her neck. Odd. She hated the thing as much as I did. Supernatural babies were given these necklaces at birth by the Muses. Find the other half of the pendant hanging on the necklace and you find your mate. It was an outdated practice that didn't allow women to choose whom they wanted to love. Gay matings were rare and if you turned out to be part of the gay community but your mate wasn't, you were still expected to mate with them. Love them. Produce heirs, with them. Traumatic experiences like those drove many to turn rogue. Break their necklaces and live with the consequences.

"No no, it's fine. I'll leave. But I doubt the Alpha will be pleased knowing you spoke with so much disrespect towards his daughter. I am a reflection of him, you know?" Yes. I did it. I played my worst card. Relying on my parents to gain myself access to Mikaela. I hated it. The taste left burn marks on my tongue. To know I had no power besides what my parents gave me.

The burly woman frowned. "I'll give you half an hour." She muttered and left the room.

I smiled to myself. "What did you do?" I half laughed at the irritated girl. She gave me a half smile and patted the bed. I sat beside her, relishing the proximity. Her cheeks flushed a bit when she caught me staring for a second too long, turning her eyes away from mine.

"They sort of caught me with my fling of last night." She answered sheepishly, still avoiding my gaze.

"What fling?" I questioned with raised eyebrows. Much of last night was nothing but hazy memories. The small argument with the human couple was still there. As well as our encounter with that gorgeous male. The rest seemed almost black.

"You can't remember?" She laughed at me, a trill of a sound. Lighter than air. "I brought a guy home because your parents were home, so we couldn't crash there. And this morning... let's just say he needs stealth skills." Mika laughed and hugged me tightly to her. "But I'm happy to see you are alive."

I nodded reluctantly. I was barely alive. Barely had the energy to run to her, yet I had run with everything inside of me. "Me too, but, question. Why does your parents blame me for all of this?" I scooted further away from her, the news of her one night stand leaving me wanting a bit of space. A frown formed on her brow as she noted the gap that had opened between us.

"You know how they are. How this entire pack is. Conservative biased wolves with their noses stuck in the air. She thinks you talked me into losing my virginity to a random man. Little does she know it was your eldest brother who took it years ago." She giggled at the thought. Puke rose in my throat. I can distinctly remember her telling me this story. How I died of sickness at the thought of the two. Mikaela was more precious than my brother would ever treat her.

"So I'm the bad influence simply because I don't agree with the whole necklace thing? Or the whole let's

make

puppies with the love of my life thing?" I asked, my eyes not meeting hers. I was bitter beyond belief. Bitter because I could do nothing to change the minds or traditions of this pack. Bitter because we were different. Thought and acted so much differently than everyone else.

"You know who and how they are. I'm sorry Lucy." She touched my leg gently. The urge to lay my head in her lap overtook me. So I did. Mikaela was still my comfort, even after everything.

"It's fine, Mika. I know I'm the black sheep of the pack. Even if I am the daughter of the Alpha, I'm still the Omega." I winked at her, defiance shining in my eyes.

Her necklace caught my eye again. I gently touched it. "I've never seen you wear it before." I noted, touching the edge gently. It was as if fire consumed Mika. She jerked away. "Did I do something wrong?" I asked, propping myself on an elbow and eyeing her.

"They are making me wear it, but it feels wrong, you know? I mean, the pendant is so much smaller than everyone else's. It almost feels shameful." She stated with sorrow on her breath. The world's biggest burden in our society was finding your true love. Because you aren't allowed to know anything besides someone who is supposed to love you forever. Someone who will rule you fully, control every aspect of your life. A noose that we all wear, and the more people you meet, the tighter the noose gets. That was the destiny of werewolf women. To be submissive.

"May I look at it?" I wrapped my fingers around the small thing and tugged gently. The strap let go, leaving the pendant in my palm. It was beautiful. Intricate red, black and silver detailing. Almost exact to mine in design but not shape. It astounded me. Thus far, we were the only two with three colors in the design. My mother and father had gold and blue laced in theirs. But ours, the three colors swirled behind my eyelids. "I bet one day you will find someone who fits this perfectly, okay? Don't stress." I urged her gently, clasping the necklace around her neck again.

"But I already found my other half." Her voice was smooth, calm, but drenched in love.

"Sweety, best friends don't count." I giggled out and booped her nose.

"It does to me."