Either Be Damnation Or Salvation

I didn't know why I flinched. I didn't understand why I felt that little fear in my gut. I wasn't going to take what I read seriously. I kept telling myself over and over again, that this was real life and those things didn't exist.

So I relaxed, and the men just looked at me with unreadable looks in their eyes.

“Where’s Alex?” I asked, not because I cared, but I just had to say something to fill the tense silence.

“Still not back,” Kross answered, his voice cool.

As I looked at him, I remembered that moment we shared this morning. I didn't really know what it was, but it looked like Kross was fighting with himself. And as I look at him right now, I don't see his wall of ice anywhere. Something must have changed in him.

Kade just stayed silent, watching me but after a while, he looked away.

“I'll be in my room,” I said as I turned, going up the stairs.

That was awkward. I felt like their little sister whom they had to check up on when she came back from somewhere. That was really disturbing considering the inappropriate thoughts I have about these men.

I showered when I got to my room, putting all thoughts behind me. When I came out, the loud grumble of my stomach made me realize I'd barely eaten anything. I sighed as I dressed, just wearing a nightgown. I really didn't want to see them again but I had no choice.

When I went downstairs, the TV was on and Kade was the only one there. He rested his legs on the table, his chin resting on his fist. His eyes were fixed on the screen but I knew he wasn't watching it. He didn't even look up when I walked past.

I head to the kitchen and help myself to what is available, eating there, and trying not to think. Thinking would do me no good.

I left the kitchen after I was done, about to just go straight to my room and read some of the books I borrowed from the library before I would sleep, but then Kade’s voice stopped me, soft and raspy.

“You shouldn't have done that with Axel last night.”

I halted in my steps, my cheeks heating. Damn it, I should have been quiet, but my head was clouded with pleasure and I wasn't thinking straight. Now I regret that. I was also regretting doing that with Axel.

I turned to Kade slowly and he didn't even look away from the screen, the sound from it low.

“And why shouldn't I?” I asked, just to see his reaction, to see if he would give me something, a clue of what happened last night.

Kade finally looked at me, his expression the picture of boredom. “I thought you were smart, Rosette. It seems I thought wrong.”

That's it. I marched to him, his eyes following me, my chest heaving. I stood in front of him, planting my hands on the armrest and leaning down until we were face to face.

“Tell me why, Kade. It's just sex. Sex is no big deal, but you're making it seem like it is. Why? Huh?”

He just stared blankly at me, like I was a child throwing a tantrum, and that irritated me.

“If you were smart, Rosette,” he whispered, the faintest scent of whiskey on his breath, “you would stay away from us. In fact, you would leave this house. You have money, don't you? I can tell Kross to increase the limit of the card, and if you leave, it’ll still be yours. Leave, Rosette. Before it’s too late. And don't ask questions.”

My mother had always said I was the most stubborn person she’s ever met in her life, and one day, in this world that we live in, that stubbornness will either be my damnation or salvation.

We’ll see what it’ll be in this case.

“Kade,” I whispered as I leaned in a little closer, getting all in his space. “Don't you think this is a little unfair? I should leave, yeah sure, that sounds good. But don't you think I deserve to know what's going on, at least?”

“There’s nothing going on,” he said calmly. I wanted to rip that calm away.

“You liar,” I whispered, my eyes dropping to his lips before I looked back at him. His mismatched eyes darkened but they cleared just as quickly. But now that I’d seen that reaction, I wasn't going to back down.

He wanted me. He might act nonchalant, or cool, but I knew he wanted me.

“Tell me, Kade.” My voice dropped lower and I leaned in close. His eyes dropped low and he swallowed. And that was when I remembered that my nightgown had a wide neck. My cleavage was exposed to him.

That gave me a weapon to use.

Among all those emotions that failed to develop, shame was one of them. Right now, I am going to use that to my advantage. I was going to use what I had to get what I wanted. Kade was a man, he had desires. I was going to exploit that.

I teased the hem of my gown’s neck, my fingers hovering over it, going back and forth, teasing the rope that was keeping my breasts from being exposed. Kade’s eyes dropped low again, darkening.

“Rosette,” he warned, his voice rougher than it was before.

“Hmm?” I answered innocently, the ropes slowly coming undone.

“Stop this.”

He was all talk. He wasn't even making an effort to push me away.

“You can stop this yourself, Kade. All you need to do is just push me away, and I promise I’ll stop.”

And as I said that, I finally undid the ropes. It came loose, falling apart, and my upper body was exposed to him.

I could see it the moment Kade’s control snapped. He inhaled deeply, his eyes fixed on my breasts. Then his hands reached out and grabbed my waist, pulling me onto his lap.

“Christ, Rosette,” he breathed, his voice like gravel. “Fuck. Fuck sake.” As he spoke, his hands stroked my back, his eyes flickering between my breasts and my eyes. “You’re a temptation I can't bring myself to stop thinking about. To stop craving. A temptation I can't escape.” As he spoke, he leaned down, kissing the top of my breasts, his hold tightening on me. “You’re like a beautiful ruin dressed in fire and silk, and though I see the cliffs ahead, I follow still, longing for the wreckage you’ll leave me in.”

Fuck, why was that so… sexy? I wasn't supposed to be getting wet. I had a goal I had to achieve.

He raised his eyes to mine, his dark and clouded with lust. “Because, my love, that’s all that is going to come out of this. Ruin and wreckage. For both of us. Fuck, all of us. We’ll be your damnation and vice versa. You want to know why you should run away? Fine, I’ll tell you.”