Chapter 4: Have to make her mine

Alanis

''Stop it this instant'' Father shouts angrily.

It is instinctual. We both take steps away from each other on his command. No one disrespects him.

''Shit,'' I mutter under my breath. I fucking lost control. ''I got to go'' I say ignoring them all and their stares. I stop when i get to the hallway and take my first deep breath. I see my reflection in the mirror and it is unrecognizable. I watch as the bruises that i got from the fight disappear slowly.

I have stooped so low.

What the fuck is wrong with me?

After the injuries are healed. I walk back to my car and Maddie is still there. I stop before she notices me and she has a smile on her face. She is bent over her phone, probably texting her best friend.

I stare at her for a couple of seconds and the anger in me dissipates. I know i don't love her but she makes me happy. I don't even understand why I even need a soulmate in the first place.

Maddie is good enough for me.

She looks up suddenly and her smile widens. Shit, I do that to her; i make her happy.

She waves slowly and I walk over to her ''Hi'' she mumbles cheekily.

''Hi.''

''You were in there for a while. Is there a problem?'' she questions. I don't have an answer to that because there is always a problem with my family. This time I am the problem. I shake my head immediately because she doesn't need to know what happened in there. She doesn't need to know that side of me—the side of me that is not human.

I don't know if Maddie will ever accept me if she finds out who I really am. I don't want her to find out but if I never find my mate, i will have to tell her eventually.

''It's all good,'' I enter the car and we drive to school. We are already late but we make it in time for the next class. After school with so much dread i go home and they are all still waiting for me. I am not in the mood to talk or address what happened earlier. I lost control and that has been happening a lot lately. I don't know what is wrong but I never have control of myself. I have been getting to angry and i don't know what is wrong with me.

Father told me to go up to my room, he said he needs to talk to me. I don't want to talk; I just want to escape from this. I don't want to exchange words with anyone; no one needs to talk about why I am still alone. I know I am alone, i know no one is ever going to love me the way a vampire needs eternal love and I okay with it. I have accepted my fate. Why won't they all accept it too?

I go into my room and my bed is still a mess two nights ago. I adjust it and walk into the bathroom for a shower.

After my shower, my phone beeps and its Maddie ''Hello" I answer her call instantly.

Her chirpy voice brings a smile to my face ''I miss you honey bunch,'' The thing about Maddie, is that she is like a stereotypical high school popular girl. All guys want her, all girls hate her or want to be exactly like her and most times I feel like i am such a lucky guy that she wants to be with me. I know she doesn't know that I am a vampire—hell I am sure she would freak out but if I can make her the woman for me. If somehow this is a test and she is actually my link. Then i am sure she will accept this.

''I just saw you.''

'' Yeah, but it feels like it has been forever. Are you going to Vinny's party?'' she questions still sounding way to preppy.

''I don't think so'' i am not really in the mood for partying right now but if she wants to go, I am sure I will be roped into going because I always want to do what she wants. That's how much I am forcing this relationship; even though there is no spark, there are no forces bringing us together.

''Caitlin is going to be there and she just got back from Peru, I have missed so much and I really want to see her''

This I don't understand, If she really wants to see her friend, why not just go see her at home or something. i have all these thoughts in my head but somehow once she changes the tone of her voice to the sad puppy dog one, i know I will give In.

**************************

''Shit''

''Shit, shit, shit,'' I hold unto my jaw not from the pain but the memory of the encounter. Maddie is watching me with tears still running down her cheeks, her eyes are red and she is shaking terrified of what just happened.

That fucking Mutt.

I take heavy breaths because I am still shaking. He hit on my girlfriend, he wanted her, I could see it in her eyes. The jealousy that I never knew I had surfaced today. The alcohol didn't help, I was so angry. I don't know what is happening but I have been angry all day. What is wrong with me; I am usually more controlled. This shit just doesn't happen to me and if somehow father gets wind of this; I will be in big trouble.

Noticing that she is still crying, I ignore all the thoughts in my head right now. I need to take care of her ''It's okay baby'' I pull her into my arms and she rests in the crook of my neck. Her sniffles are the loudest sound I hear. The fear in the beating of her heart. I don't even want to read her mind now. I don't want to know what she is thinking of at this moment. But this power that I harness forces its way out.

He broke something, I heard the sound of bones.

Those words in her head are true, I know a lot of people witnessed what happened. the mistake I made was aggravating him. He is an animal, and i let him get the best of me. That was the fucking mistake. I cant answer her because she didn't actually say it out loud. A lot of thoughts are rummaging round her head. I can hear them. She is suddenly terrified.

''Are you okay?'' I pull her away softly confused that it's just another thought but she repeats her question probably because of the expression on my face.

I manage a faint smile and I feel the soreness of my face from that blow. I reach for her and wipe a drop from her face. She closes her eyes and at that moment I know there is nothing left to say. I can't explain to her what happened because I am not sure about her.

Once things go the way they are supposed to, she will understand. Once I get her to be mine, once I force a link to happen. I am going to make Maddie the one for me.

No matter what it takes.