Chapter 39

Cassian’s POV

I didn’t what hurt more

Waking up with Julia still in the guest room

Or going the rest of the day pretending onG that I didn’t care that Selena barely looked me in the eye anymore.

The thought bugged me as I watched the sun rise, signifying tye start of another day.

Conrad stood beside me as I leaned against the training yard railing, 

My arms were crossed and judgin Bt the way he was looking at me, I could tell he was struggling to read my expression.

.

“She’s avoiding you,” he blurted out. I hated how he said it

Outrightly stating the obvious..tsk

“Who?” I asked, like I didn’t already know the answer.

He didn’t even dignify that with a response.

Instead, he folded his arms and looked out over the yard where a few early patrol units were warming up. “You know, for someone who runs a whole territory, you’re pretty damn bad at managing your own home.”

“Careful,” I warned quietly. “You’re dangerously close to crossing a line.”

“I’m your friend. That’s what I do.”

I said nothing.

Because he was right 

Not about being unable to handle to handle my family…maybe there was a little truth in that

Focus

What I meant was that he was absolutely right about being the only one to call me out on my shit.

Conrad shifted, and cleared his throat. “Letting Julia stay? That’s the play now?”

I stared at the horizon. “She’s not a threat. I don’t have feelings for her man,”

“No, but she’s a message,” he countered. “Loud and clear. And if you think Selena’s not hearing it, then you’re more blind than I thought.”

“I’m giving her space.”

That was what I had been trying to convince myself for days 

That could live without interacting with her

But it was killing me

And I wasn’t so sure that I could take it anymore 

I hated how much her sarcasm grated on my nerves

 But yet, I found myself missing it

Missing hiw much she challenged me

None of the other girls i had been with could do that 

They spent the duration of the relationship pretending to be who they were not.

Fuck I wasn’t even in a relationship with Selena yet.

“No. You’re pushing her out and calling it space.” His voice pulled out… then he paused. “You’re going to lose her.”

I didn’t answer because part of me knew he was right.

But the other part

the part that had been bruised and burned too many times couldn’t help but whisper that maybe it was safer this way. That maybe distance would protect us both from whatever the hell this was becoming.

That lie was wearing thin.

Especially the moment I heard Sisi’s giggle behind me.

I turned.

She stood in the hall entrance with Kimiko trailing behind her like a frustrated shadow, trying to pull her hair into place.

“Stay still, Sisi,” Kimiko sighed. “You said you wanted your curls like Mommy’s, remember?”

“I changed my mind!” she chirped. “I want to look like Daddy now!”

The words hit me in the chest before I was ready for them.

Daddy.

I hadn’t realized how much I missed it until I heard her say it again.

Sisi saw me, and her eyes lit up like the moon on lakewater.

“Daddy!”

She darted forward before anyone could stop her. Her feet slapped the stone path, curls bouncing, arms already wide open.

I crouched just in time to catch her.

My arms closed around her small frame as she crashed into me, breathless and laughing. “You’re here!”

“I’m always here,” I assured, voice rougher than I meant it to be.

She pulled back, face radiant. “Not when I wake up.”

“I’ll do better,” I murmured.

“Promise?”

I hesitated. “Promise.”

She seemed satisfied with that.

From behind her, Kimiko bowed quickly and slipped away, murmuring something about needing to check with Adeline.

That left just me and Sisi in the courtyard.

And Conrad, still watching from the side.

She tugged at my sleeve. “Can I tell you something?”

“Of course.”

She leaned in, voice a stage whisper. “I don’t like Aunt Julia.”

My chest tightened. “Why?”

“She always talks like she’s pretending. She pulls my hair when Mommy’s not looking. And Mommy cries at night when she thinks I’m asleep.”

My heart dropped.

“Selena cries?”

Sisi nodded solemnly. “I heard her. She whispers too. But not happy whispers. Sad ones. She says she’s trying but she’s tired.”

Conrad shifted in the background, pretending he wasn’t listening.

But it was a cue 

To silently gloat and say how right he was and how much I suck at matters of the heart.

I swallowed hard.

“You have to tell Mommy I love her,” Sisi continued seriously. “And that I don’t want Aunt Julia. I just want Mommy.”

I drew her closer. “I’ll tell her.”

“And you have to be nice again. Like before.”

“Before?”

“You smiled more. And hugged more. Now you just look at her like you’re scared.”

I stared down at her. “You think I’m scared?”

She nodded. “You have that look wolves get before they run. But you’re the Alpha. You shouldn’t run.”

Out of the mouths of babes.

I heard Conrad clear his throat behind me.

Apparently he had gotten an earful like me

But unlike e, he actually knew what to say in response 

“She’s not wrong.”

“I’m aware.”

He sighed. “Look. Whatever you think you’re doing with Julia—maybe to get a reaction out of Selena, or to feel in control again—it’s not going to end well. Not for her. Not for you. And not for the little one in your arms.”

I stood, still holding Sisi.

“I’m not playing games.”

“You are. And the worst part?” Conrad met my gaze. “You’re not even enjoying the win.”

He was right.

Julia had been trying—too hard—to reclaim space she’d lost years ago. And Selena? She was trying too hard to stay unaffected.

They were both hurting.

But only one of them mattered to me.

“Let her stay the week,” I announced suddenly 

I knew it wasn’t tye answer he had hoped for 

But truth was… my mind was an entire mess and I couldn’t think of another solution 

So instead I watched his eyes widen befire he blinked.

. “What?”

“Julia. Let her stay. Maybe it’s what Selena needs.”

“To what—see you cozy up with your ex?”

“No,” I said firmly. “To realize she doesn’t have to keep running.”

Conrad tilted his head. “And you?”

“I just want her to look at me again like she used to.”

Sisi tugged on my collar. “Then stop looking scared.”

I laughed, despite myself.

Maybe I should’ve been ashamed that my six-year-old saw through me better than most adults ever had.

But I wasn’t.

Because the truth was simple.

Sisi didn’t lie.

And I was tired of lying to myself.

**

Sis was with me until the sun begun to set. 

Her small hand was curled inside mine as we made out way towards the east garden.

The ine woth carved stone benches and wild rise hedges.

Sisi had once told me that Selena said it reminded her of her childhood dreams.

Sisi was a gossip… I knew.

Now I couldn’t help wonder what she must have told her about me.

 I hadn’t known what she meant at the time. But lately, I was starting to understand.

“Are we gonna sit by the roses again?” Sisi asked, skipping a step ahead and pulling me with her.

“Yes,” I said softly. “We can sit there as long as you want.”

Her smile made something twist in my chest. Not the usual ache—the sharp one I’d come to expect whenever I thought of Selena, or the contract, or the things I couldn’t say. This was something else. Lighter. But just as dangerous.

As we turned past the hedges, I felt something on my skin

Someone was watching.

I didn’t look up right away, but I knew. The weight of her gaze was unmistakable.

Selena.

She stood just inside the upper corridor, half-shielded by the balcony drapes. The moment her eyes met mine

It lasted just for a second 

But she disappeared behind the curtain again like she hadn’t meant to be seen at all.

But I’d seen enough.

Her arms were crossed tightly. Her lips pressed together like she’d been holding something in. 

She was staring at sisi befire she had looked at me

And in that single second… I saw everything I didn’t understand.

Confusion. Hurt. Longing.

Maybe even jealousy.

“What are you looking at?” Sisi asked, tugging on my arm.

I blinked. “Nothing.”

But my eyes strayed back to the window anyway. Empty now.

Selena was gone.

And in her place… silence.

We sat down on the stone bench near the roses. The air smelled faintly of petals and ash from the kitchen chimney.

Sisi settled beside me, clutching a wrinkled drawing she’d done earlier that morning

some mess of hearts and stars and a stick-figure wolf family. I was in it. She told me so.

“So, Daddy,” she turned to me… her brows furrowed in an attempt to show how serious she was,m, “are you and Mommy friends now?”

I cleared my throat. “We’re trying.”

She gave me a sidelong look. “You look at her like you’re in a storybook.”

I choked on air. “Do I?”

Sisi nodded. “You only look like that at her and me. Not even uncle Conrad gets that look.”

That damned smirk of hers. Like she knew too much for a girl so small.

“I don’t know what look you mean,” I muttered, avoiding her eyes.

She leaned her head against my arm. “You look like you don’t want her to go.”

My hand tensed.

No. I didn’t want her to go.

But I also didn’t know how to ask her to stay

not when she flinched at my touch some days and refused to meet my eyes others.

 Not when she avoided my questions with half smiles.

And not when Julia had suddenly decided to make herself at home again.

I still hadn’t told Selena about Julia’s week-long stay.

She hadn’t asked.

Not directly.

But I’d seen the way her expression changed when she caught sight of Julia walking past in a silk robe like she belonged here.

 I’d heard her pause in the hall when Julia laughed too loudly near the stairwell.

 And I’d felt it, when her voice cracked asking me if I told Julia about the contract.

No. I hadn’t.

But I also hadn’t stopped Julia from assuming.