Chapter 38

Selena’s POV

Tye furst day I came here I thought the walls were quiet

Turns out it takes living here to find out that they actually aren’t

The walls of the palace weren’t as quiet as they pretended to be.

They echoed.

And rhe whispers? They were embedded in the stone walls and finding their way to my ears whether I wanted them or not

No matter how hard I tried to push it away.

I didn’t mean to listen.

Truly, I didn’t.

But when I turned the corner and saw her—Julia—standing far too close to Cassian, with her perfectly painted mouth curved into a smile like she’d never stopped belonging here…

Something in me paused.

I stayed hidden behind the tapestry, breath caught in my throat.

“I’ll only stay a week,” she said sweetly.

Cassian nodded. “A week is fine.”

My heart dropped.

He was letting her stay.

Of course he was.

Then he added, almost too quietly for me to hear, “But don’t interfere with Selena or Sisi. That’s not up for negotiation.”

Something tightened in my chest.

He was…protecting us?

No. No, it didn’t matter. It shouldn’t matter. He should’ve told her no from the start. She shouldn’t even be here. And yet—

She was.

And now I had to watch her walk through these halls again like she belonged. Like she hadn’t made it clear with just one glance that I didn’t.

My hand brushed the stone wall as I turned away from the scene, trying to steady myself.

I didn’t cry.

Not this time.

But gods, the ache was still there.

An old ache, deep and poisonous.

It wasn’t about Julia. Not really.

It was about what she stirred in me—memories I thought I’d buried. Of Zevran. Of betrayal dressed in adoration. Of believing I was enough, only to be reminded I wasn’t.

Again and again and again.

“He found her replacement so easily,” the voice in my head whispered.

And maybe the worst part?

She looked nothing like me.

She was polished. Loud. Glossed up. The kind of woman who never had to ask if she was wanted.

I went back to my room that night with that thought clinging to my skin.

**

The next morning, I woke up with a choice.

I could disappear into my jealousy.

Or I could rise above it.

And for once, I didn’t want to drown.

So I got out of bed. I pulled my hair back. I washed my face with cold water, slapped some color into my cheeks, and made my way to the kitchen.

I was going to try.

Not for Cassian. Not even to prove anything to Julia.

But because I mattered.

And because Sisi did.

I found her in the sitting room, still in her pajamas, legs swinging off the chair as she clutched a stuffed bear to her chest.

I didn’t reach for the same pale dress I always wore. I chose one of the Luna training tunics Adeline had laid out—soft gray, belted at the waist, with room to move. My hair, for once, I braided back tightly from my face. Clean. Neat. Focused.

I didn’t look like someone waiting to be chosen.

I looked like someone who had already decided.

“Whoa,” Sisi blinked at me as I stepped into the breakfast hall. “Mommy, you look like a general.”

I smiled faintly. “Good. You need a strong mommy.”

“Mommy!” she beamed. “Can we make the pancake faces today?”

I grinned. “Only if you help me.”

She gasped. “Yes!”

So we made pancake faces.

She made a big mess, and I let her.

We burned two batches, and I still laughed.

Cassian walked in halfway through

He was bare-chested, hair still damp, expression unreadable.

It hurt because I had already imagined a thousand and one scenarios of what he and Julia must have been up To all night

I didn’t let myself look at him too long. Didn’t let the sting of Julia’s voice echo again.

Instead, I focused on Sisi.

And for the first time in what felt like days, I felt light again.

She giggled and patted the seat beside her. “You can sit here today. I already told Daddy you’re my favorite again.”

Cassian, seated across the table, arched a brow at that.

“Favorite?” he echoed. “I don’t remember being dethroned.”

“You never won,” I said, picking up my tea.

Sisi nearly choked laughing.

.

Cassian’s lips twitched. He didn’t argue.

But I caught the quick, quiet glance he gave me.

And the way his eyes lingered a second longer than they needed to.

Julia entered ten minutes late.

Hair curled, lips glossed, wearing something that shimmered. She offered a cheery good morning, kissed the air beside Cassian’s cheek, and sat beside him.

I didn’t flinch.

I offered her a polite nod.

And turned back to Sisi.

After breakfast, I sat at the vanity while Sisi played with her dolls on the carpet. I applied light gloss to my lips, combed through my hair slowly, then slipped on a soft pink dress. Simple, yes—but something about it made me feel a little taller. A little more present.

I didn’t care if Julia noticed.

This wasn’t about her.

Cassian passed by the door as I was adjusting the strap on my shoulder.

And I could feel his gaze on my skin

It was threatening to burn a hole in my skin.

He didn’t say anything.

But I felt it.

And I didn’t look away.

The Luna Lessons started at noon.

I was early.

Even though I had missed the classes for weeks

I didn’t see the need

I didn’t want to fit in

But maybe now, I wanted to …even if it was a bit.

Adeline raised an eyebrow when I entered the training hall, notebook in hand, questions already written down. She didn’t comment. But I noticed the way she nodded to herself when she thought I wasn’t watching.

Today’s lesson was about pack diplomacy.

Tomorrow, herb knowledge.

I took notes like my life depended on it.

And maybe… in some way, it did.

When Julia showed up halfway through, dressed in a white dress a little too tight, a little too bright for a training session—I didn’t flinch.

I just looked back at my notes.

And asked another question.

I trained harder than ever.

Adeline didn’t even need to push me.

I stayed after class to study old Luna texts. I asked questions. I requested to shadow her when she visited the infirmary and the council court. She smiled, surprised.

“You’re finally starting to believe you belong here,” she said gently.

I didn’t answer.

But I held her gaze.

Let her see what I couldn’t yet say out loud.

**

In the afternoon, I walked with Sisi through the garden. We counted flowers. We made a daisy chain crown. She placed it on my head and called me “Queen Mommy.”

My heart melted.

Cassian watched from a distance.

I didn’t wave.

But I didn’t run either.

I was trying.

And I hoped—maybe he saw that.

On my way back inside, I passed a corridor and caught the tail end of a voice I recognized too well.

Julia.

“…I just think it’s strange she’s still here,” she said to one of the kitchen maids. Her voice was syrupy sweet. “I mean, of course she’s good with children, but you’d think she’d understand her place. Contracts have limits.”

The maid didn’t respond.

I kept walking.

But the words sat in my stomach like ash.

My place?

She could keep guessing.

I wasn’t leaving.

Not until I was ready.

Later that night, when the palace grew quiet and the stars spilled through the windows, I sat on the edge of my bed and pulled out my phone.

Eleanor’s messages glowed on the screen.

How’s everything?

We miss you.

I told Auntie you’d make everything better.

I typed a reply.

Still here. Everything’s fine.

I hesitated.

Then added:

I’m trying.

And sent it.

The wind brushed through the curtains, cool and soft.

I leaned back on the bed and whispered, “If I’m going to be here… I’m going to make it count.”

Even if it hurt.

Even if he never looked at me the way I wanted.

Even if she was still here, floating through the palace like perfume.

I had come too far to fall apart now.

The next morning, I was up before the sun.

The halls were quiet,exceot for the chatter tye maids made while they prepared breakfast.

I didn’t bother tying my hair, instead I just pulled on a robe and crept into the east wing with a mission.

The palace library.

Again.

There were books in there I hadn’t finished, stories about past Lunas who had carved peace from bloodshed. Maps of old territories. Lineages. Family trees. Even a chapter on the first Storm Alpha line.

I skimmed them, looking for patterns, looking for anything that made me feel closer to something solid. Something mine.

Something that didn’t involve Julia.

She was still here.

I passed her in the corridor once, near the eastern stairs. She smiled that smile—tight-lipped, controlled, rehearsed.

I nodded. Didn’t slow down.

But I saw it.

She hadn’t expected me to still be here.

Good.

Let her be surprised.

Sisi’s laughter rang through the garden around midday.

I followed the sound, pausing when I saw them—Cassian and his daughter

They were both seated on the grass, surrounded by coloring books and crushed petals.

Cassian was lying on his back, his arm bent behind his head while Sisi tried to “paint” his face with wet flower juice. His lips twitched with every swipe, trying not to laugh.

And for a second—

I forgot to breathe.

He looked… relaxed.

Happy.

So rare. So disarming.

So maddening.

He turned his head and caught me watching.

Neither of us looked away.

But I did turn and walk back inside.

My heart was beating too fast again.

I spent the next hour helping in the nursery with some of the younger pups from visiting nobles. It wasn’t required of me. But it felt good to be needed in a way that didn’t include longing or jealousy.

Later, I found myself back in the training hall.

Conrad was there.

He raised an eyebrow. “You again?”

“I don’t like sitting still,” I replied, already picking up the practice staff.

He grinned. “That’s my kind of Luna.”

We sparre…..lightly, carefully. Just drills. Nothing too aggressive. But enough to keep my thoughts from spiraling.

Cassian passed by once. I felt his presence like a charge in the air.

He didn’t speak.

But he watched.

That was enough.

**

That night, dinner was quiet.

To be honest

I didn’t want to join

But I couldn’t avoid it

I was already avoiding breakfast

Now this? It would certainly get the maids talking

So I took my bath and headed down.

Julia was seated across the long dining table. Polished. Dazzling.

Her laugh chimed between bites, especially when Cassian said something.

But his eyes kept toward the other end of the table.

I had caught it several times

Cause it was turning Toward me.

I didn’t give him the satisfaction of looking back.

I cut my food in clean, deliberate lines. Ate with grace. Sat with my spine straight, like Adeline had taught me.

Sisi leaned against my side, whispering about her next coloring page idea.

I let the world fall away and gave her my attention.

Cassian excused himself early.

Julia followed.

And I stayed.

Not because I was dismissed.

But because I was done playing second to anyone.

Even if that anyone had once been everything to him.

***

Sisi fell asleep in my arms during storytime.

Her cheek was pressed against my chest, her breathing soft and steady.

Cassian stood in the doorway.

He didn’t speak.

Just leaned against the frame and watched us like he didn’t know what to do with himself.

“Do you want to carry her?” I asked quietly.

He hesitated.

Then walked forward and bent to lift her gently from my arms. She curled into him instinctively, murmuring something about dragons and stars.

He didn’t say thank you.

But the look he gave me said enough.

I remained in the hallway outside her room for a moment longer after the door closed.

It was quiet.

Still.

Then I whispered, mostly to myself—

“I’m staying. For her. Not for you.”

But the silence didn’t argue.

And that scared me more than anything.

Because the longer I stayed…

The more It seemed difficult to keep that line in place

i finally dragged myself away from her, but I didn’t go straight to bed.

Instead, I found myself standing in the palace garden.

Tye moon was high up

It looked silver and quiet

. The flowers were sleeping, their petals curled inward. Everything was still.

I sat on the low stone bench near the lavender bush—the same one I used to visit when I first came here.

Back when I’d only wanted to survive.

I used to come here and cry.

Now, I came to think.

To breathe.

To remind myself why I stayed.

I pulled my shawl tighter around my shoulders, staring out into the dark.

Julia’s voice still echoed in my mind.

“She should know her place…”

I did know my place.

It just wasn’t the one she imagined.

My place was next to Sisi when she felt safe enough to sleep.

My place was in the Luna hall, asking questions, learning, growing.

My place… was wherever I chose to make it.

And for now, I was choosing here.

I closed my eyes.

I could still feel Cassian’s gaze from earlier—soft, unsure, but real.

He wasn’t Zevran.

He wasn’t anyone’s revenge.

And whatever this was between us… I wasn’t going to let it destroy me.

Not this time.

By the time I returned to my room, the palace was asleep.

I undressed in silence, slipped into bed, and pulled the covers over my legs.

My phone buzzed.

A message from Eleanor.

It was a single reply from her

Aheart emoji.

It shouldn’t have been enough.

But somehow, it was.

, I didn’t cry.

Instead, I lit a candle and pulled out one of the books from the Luna shelf—Wolves Who Wait. A story about the mates who weren’t chosen first… but who still mattered in the end.

The irony wasn’t lost on me.

I underlined a line in the book with my thumb:

“She did not wait to be adored. She built herself into something holy and dared them to look away.”

I closed the book and stared at the flame.

If I had to become holy to survive this… then so be it.

As I reached to turn off the lamp, I caught my reflection in the mirror across the room.

The girl looking back at me didn’t look afraid.

She looked… determined.

I let the light go out.

Closed my eyes.

And whispered one last thing into the dark:

“If I have to prove I belong here… I will.”