Chapter 40

Cassian’s POV 

The rustle of leaves pulled me back.

Sisi was digging her fingers into the dirt beside the roses, humming.

“I want to pick one,” she said. “But only if you help. They have thorns.”

I crouched beside her, watching her finger hover above a yellow bloom.

“Why this one?” I asked.

“Because yellow is Mommy’s favorite color. And happy. And it looks like the sun.”

She looked up at me, squinting against the light. “Do you think Mommy’s sad?”

My mouth opened and then closed.

“Maybe,” I said finally.

“Is it ‘cause of Aunt Julia?”

My spine went rigid.

“I don’t like Aunt Julia,” Sisi added

She had mentioned it barely 4 hours ago 

And with the way she looked

I could tell she was hurt and that was the last thing I wanted

Not after the number of years it took us to get her to speak again.

. “She talks too loud and always pulls my hair when Mommy’s not there. I told Kimiko but she said to be nice because she’s a guest.”

Something ugly twisted in my gut.

“What do you mean she pulls your hair?”

“Like this.” She pinched the back of her head. “Not hard. But not nice either. And she talks about Mommy like Mommy’s not real.”

I stood slowly.

Not from anger.

From something colder.

Later, when I brought Sisi inside, Conrad was already waiting for me at the side door.

“She said that?” he asked when I relayed what Sisi told me.

“She said it exactly.”

He exhaled sharply. “Told you. Julia doesn’t just want a visit. She wants a crown.”

“She’s not getting one.”

“But she’s staying in your palace.”

“I told her not to interfere.”

Conrad raised a brow. “And that stopped her?”

I didn’t answer.

Because I didn’t know.

Selena hadn’t said another word to me all day.

But her silence wasn’t empty.

It was full. Dense. Suffocating.

And I was starting to think the only thing worse than hearing her anger… was never hearing anything at all.

When the hallways grew quiet, I stepped out into the courtyard again, just beneath her balcony.

The same curtain moved gently in the breeze.

No one stood behind it now.

But I stared up anyway, willing something

anything at all to shift.

And all I could think was:

If I’m not careful, I’ll lose her.

And I wouldn’t even have the right to ask why.

. I wasn’t sure why I was walking. Maybe I just needed to breathe. Maybe I just needed to move.

Or maybe I knew exactly where my feet were taking me.

Selena’s door stood at the far end of the corridor, lit only by the faint flicker of a dying wall lamp. I stopped in front of it, heart in my throat.

I didn’t knock.

I didn’t dare.

i could hear movements from where I stood

. Maybe she was crying. Maybe she was fast asleep and I was just a ghost, lingering where I wasn’t needed.

I leaned one hand against the doorframe, jaw clenched.

This wasn’t me.

Cassian Storm didn’t stand outside women’s doors like a love-sick fool.

 He didn’t ache at the thought of someone choosing silence over him. He didn’t pace around his palace trying to understand the difference between guilt and longing.

I let out a slow breath and turned away.

The garden was cooler than I expected. The night air brushed against my skin, crisp and sharp, like it wanted to wake me up.

I’d barely made it to the marble steps when I heard her.

“Couldn’t sleep either?”

Julia.

Barefoot. Silk robe. Hair loose over her shoulders like she’d stepped out of a dream meant for someone else. The old version of me might’ve looked twice.

I didn’t.

“I didn’t call for company,” I said.

She smiled, the same smile that used to twist me up inside. “You never had to.”

I walked past her.

But she followed.

“Cassian,” she said softly. “Do you remember the summer we stayed in Emberfort? You told me the sky looked better when I was in your arms.”

I hated rat i had even uttered such words

I didn’t turn, tye words were heavy to leave my lips, 

“I remember, I also remember you running into Zevran’s arms.”

Her mouth tightened. “That’s not fair. You pushed me away.”

I stopped walking and turned. “You pushed yourself out.”

“I came back.”

“Too late.”

Julia stepped closer. “I miss you.”

I didn’t move. “Then you’re missing a man who doesn’t exist anymore.”

Her eyes searched my face. “Is it her?”

I didn’t answer.

“You let me stay here,” she said, voice trembling. “Don’t pretend you don’t feel anything.”

“I let you stay because I was trying to be civil. Don’t twist it into something it’s not.”

“She cries at night, you know.” Her voice was sharp now

I knew that viice of hers

It was the kind she used when she was trying to drive home a point. “That precious nanny of yours. You think she’s stronger than me? Smarter? Better?”

I didn’t move.

Not even the bat of an eyebrow. But inside, the storm cracked.

“You don’t get to talk about her.”

“She doesn’t belong here.”

I stepped forward then. Not threatening—just firm.

“She belongs wherever she wants to be. And Sisi—my daughter—chooses her. That’s enough.”

Julia’s mouth parted like she wanted to scream.

Instead, she laughed. Cold. Bitter. “You’ve changed.”

“I had to,” I said. “Survival isn’t always pretty.”

I turned again. Walked away.

And this time, she didn’t follow.

I ended up in the strategy hall. 

What was I even doing?

Trying to fix things I didn’t understand.

Trying to build a life with a woman who wouldn’t even look at me.

Trying to protect a child whose safety was the only thing that made sense.

And yet… every time I saw Selena… everything hurt.

And I didn’t know how to stop wanting her.

I sat there, in the dark, until the flames died entirely.

Alone with my thoughts.

And haunted by the one woman who hadn’t even tried to haunt me.

The strategy hall had grown quiet. Too quiet.

I sat in the farthest corner, where the light from the lantern didn’t quite reach, hunched forward with my elbows on my knees, my fingers laced tightly together.

Julia’s perfume still lingered faintly in the air—sickly sweet, like decay dressed in roses.

I should’ve sent her away the moment I saw her.

I should’ve told her I couldn’t risk this.

Not again.

But part of me—some rusted, broken part—had hesitated. Not because I still cared. I didn’t. I knew that now more than ever.

But because I wanted to see what Selena would do.

And I hated myself for it.

The door creaked open, and I didn’t have to look up to know who it was.

“Still hiding?” Conrad asked casually as he stepped inside, shutting the door behind him. “You planning on haunting this place permanently or just until someone finds your body slumped in a corner?”

I didn’t answer.

He crossed the room and dropped into the chair across from me, stretching his legs like he belonged here. “You’re sulking.”

“I’m thinking.”

“You don’t sulk when you think.”

I shot him a glare.

He ignored it. “What exactly are you trying to do, Cassian? Punish her? Or yourself?”

“I’m giving her space.”

He snorted. “By inviting your ex to stay in the palace and letting her waltz around like she’s the Luna?”

“I told Julia not to interfere.”

“Right,” he said dryly. “And wolves don’t sniff.”

I sighed and leaned back in the chair, staring at the ceiling. “I don’t know what I’m doing, Conrad.”

“At least you’re honest.”

we were both silent .

“She won’t talk to me,” I said finally.

“Can you blame her?”

My jaw tightened.

““Try with words. They tend to help.”

“I didn’t want to hurt her.”

“Well, congratulations,” he smirked, standing again. “You did.”

Before he could walk away, the door creaked open again.

Tiny footsteps. A softer scent.

“Daddy?”

I turned sharply.

Sisi.

She was wearing a fuzzy pink sweater and mismatched socks, clutching a storybook in one hand.

“I was looking for you,” she said, blinking up at me.

I stood immediately. “Sweetheart, what are you doing awake?”

She shrugged. “Mommy was sleeping. Aunt Julia came to my room again. She said she wanted to braid my hair, but she pulls too tight. I told her to go away.”

My gut twisted.

“And…” she stepped closer, her voice dropping, “she said something mean about Mommy. I don’t like her. She smiles at me like a mean wolf.”

Conrad raised a brow from the corner, mouthing, mean wolf?

I scooped Sisi into my arms and sat back down with her curled in my lap. Her little head rested under my chin, her fingers tracing the edge of my collar.

“Is Mommy okay?” she asked softly.

“She’s… tired,” I whispered.

Sisi didn’t answer right away. Then, “You make her sad.”

I swallowed hard. “I didn’t mean to.”

She looked up at me, too wise for her age. “Then fix it.”

I smiled faintly. “You’re too smart.”

“I know.”

We sat there in silence for a while, the only sound the soft flutter of pages as she opened her book and pointed to the dragon on the page.

“You still have to do the voice,” she said sleepily.

I did. I growled low, trying to mimic the dragon’s voice like I used to.

She giggled, warm and safe in my arms.

And for the first time all day, something in me exhaled.

I didn’t want the crown.

I didn’t want the throne or the treaties or the power.

I wanted this.

Selena. Sisi. Peace.

Not victory.

Family