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Emilia's Currently

last update Terakhir Diperbarui: 2025-06-18 20:56:42

The Concrete Jungle Doesn’t Care About the Weak

And right now, I was at the bottom of the food chain.

I had nothing.

No job. No apartment. No stability.

Just a pile of rejection emails, a near-empty bank account, and a city that chewed people up and spit them out like yesterday’s garbage.

The Fall

Losing my job at the firm was a death sentence.

Corporate jobs in Manhattan didn’t grow on trees, especially for nobodies like me. I wasn’t some Ivy League legacy or a partner’s kid. I was just an intern—temporary, replaceable, forgettable. And now, with a ruined reference from Max Carter himself, I might as well have been blacklisted.

No one would say it out loud, but I heard the whispers. Max Carter fired her. That means she’s useless.

Never mind that I worked myself into the ground. Never mind that I came in early, left late, and ran on caffeine and sheer fear of failure. None of it mattered. One mistake. One misunderstanding. One moment where I stood up for myself—and that was it. Career dead. Future shredded.

I tried to stay afloat.

I took whatever I could find.

I waited tables at a dive bar in the East Village where drunk businessmen slapped my ass and left tips that wouldn’t cover a MetroCard. I bit my tongue until it bled, because rent was due, and dignity doesn’t keep the lights on.

I worked retail in Midtown, folding overpriced jeans while my manager, Stacy, watched me like a hawk, convinced I was going to steal a $40 sweater. I smiled when she accused me of clocking out early. I apologized when a customer screamed at me for being too slow. I nodded when she called me “easily replaceable.”

And when that wasn’t enough, I picked up babysitting gigs.

One Upper West Side woman paid me in leftover takeout and made me scrub her floors before I left. She said, “If I’m paying you, you might as well make yourself useful.” Her toddler smeared peanut butter on my only good shoes.

Rent was impossible.

Even in Queens, the rent was a joke. The kind of joke that makes you cry in public and pretend you’re just allergic to the city’s filth. I came home one night, bone-tired, fingers blistered from double shifts, to find my tiny apartment ransacked.

Everything gone.

The landlord didn’t care. He just shrugged.

“You got renters insurance?”

“No.”

“Then I guess you’re out of luck.”

He raised the rent the next month anyway. Said something about “market value.” I was late once, and he taped an eviction notice to my door just to scare me.

I tried. I swear I did.

I sold clothes. I skipped meals. I slept on trains.

But by the end of the month, I had no choice. I packed up what little I had left—some clothes, a cracked laptop, a worn-out copy of The Bell Jar—and left. Dragged my suitcase through the rain like a cliché no one wants to be.

The only place I could afford was a single room in a crumbling apartment in the Bronx. It was rented by an old woman named Maria who barely spoke English, but when she opened the door and saw me soaked to the bone, shivering, she muttered one word:

“Pobrecita.”

Poor thing.

She gave me a spare mattress on the floor and a key with a broken chain. I cried that night—not because I was sad, but because I was so damn relieved. I was still in hell, but at least I had a door I could lock.

The Betrayal

The worst part wasn’t the money.

It wasn’t the hunger or the cold or the nights I spent staring at the ceiling, wondering how the hell I ended up like this.

It was the loneliness.

I had no one.

No family to call. No friends to vent to.

No one who’d notice if I disappeared.

Then I met Sophie.

She worked retail with me. Had chipped black nail polish and a laugh that made you feel like things weren’t so bad. We bonded over our hatred for Stacy, our shared loathing of entitled customers, and our dreams of escaping.

She let me crash on her couch a few nights when I was between shifts and too exhausted to commute. She made us ramen, let me use her N*****x, even lent me a sweater once. I thought she got it. I thought we were the same.

Then one morning, I woke up and my wallet was gone.

My cash, my ID, my last MetroCard—everything.

And Sophie? Gone too.

I called her. Blocked.

I went to work. She had quit.

She took the last of my money.

And somehow, that betrayal hurt more than all the others.

Because I trusted her.

And in a city like this, that’s the biggest mistake you can make.

The Breakups

I tried dating.

God, I tried.

I wanted someone to care. Someone to see me, to remind me I wasn’t completely alone in the world.

There was Ethan—charming, successful, the kind of guy who wore designer shoes and made reservations weeks in advance. He told me I was beautiful. Treated me like I mattered. For a while, I felt like Cinderella.

Until I found out I was the side chick.

He had a girlfriend. A real one. The kind who showed up at his apartment with matching keys and a toothbrush already in the bathroom.

Then there was Josh—sweet, broke, a wannabe artist who smelled like weed and wore the same hoodie every day. He said I was his muse. Said he loved how “real” I was.

He moved in without asking. Ate my food. Drank my coffee. Called himself misunderstood while I worked 12-hour shifts to keep the lights on. When I asked him to get a job, he called me a sellout.

And then there was Nick.

He was different. Or so I thought.

Steady. Kind. He listened. He laughed at my jokes.

We went on long walks through Central Park. Talked about dreams and regrets.

For a while, I let myself believe.

Until one night, after I refused to let him pay my rent, he exploded.

“You don’t let anyone take care of you, Emilia! Maybe that’s why you’re always struggling!”

He left. Just like the rest of them.

Didn’t even say goodbye.

And honestly?

Good.

I didn’t need a savior. I needed a chance.

The Choice

I sat on the floor of my tiny room in the Bronx, bills piled around me like snowdrifts, the fridge empty except for ketchup packets and a half-used bottle of water.

I could give up.

I could call my mother, beg to come home, squeeze into her two-bedroom house already overflowing with cousins and chaos.

I could surrender.

Or—I could try again.

I thought of my father.

Of the chessboard he taught me on when I was six.

He used to say, “Every move matters, Emilia. Even the ones you lose.”

He died before I turned fifteen, but that stuck with me.

I hadn’t won. Not yet.

But maybe this was just the middle of the game.

So, I made my next move.

I applied to nursing school.

It was a risk.

I didn’t have savings. I didn’t know how I’d afford tuition. I didn’t even know if I’d get in.

But I knew this: if I was going to fight my way out, I needed more than survival jobs and dead-end shifts.

I needed purpose.

And helping people—really helping them—felt like a way out of the darkness.

I wasn’t out of the woods yet.

I still had miles to go. Still had scars that hadn’t healed and fears that kept me up at night.

But for the first time in a long time—

I saw something on the horizon.

Not a miracle.

Not a handout.

But a way out.

And I was going to take it.

No matter how long it took.

No matter how hard it got.

I was done surviving.

It was time to rise.

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