The weight of expectations

Scarlet’s POV

I listen to Cole with careful consideration. It seem it wasn’t needed. Lloyd himself starts to be seen less and less. I notice without trying. The shadows around the corner were no longer there and that alone seems to make Cole happier. He still seems out of my reach. His eyes always on me yet never seeing me.

I knew this is because of the incidents with Lloyd. It isn’t shocking as I hear the whispers. Alpha Jackson is ramping up his training, claiming his is getting older. Cole seems to take it with stride, attending the training sessions, taking trips to the borders to make sure there is no breaches and even hosting the meetings with the elders.

I can only sadly laugh to myself when I think about it. There is no talk about my own involvement. I guess everyone seems to forget the pack is supposed to hold a luna, due to Alpha Jackson doing it all himself. I sadly smile as I hold the most recent book in my bed.

There is a firm knock before the door swings open. Cole looks at me with a cool smile. I know something has happened when he actually seeks out my presence. I try to not to show how excited I am to see him. He seems to sense my reluctance and grabs the book in my hand.

“I have news about your Luna status!” Cole chirps, excitedly. I blink at him before turning my gaze at him. I start to feel foolish, of course Cole remembers me. He loves me. I nod my head slowly.

“Yes?” I ask, touching his arm gently. He smiles wide.

“The elders insist that due to your status you have to do an old ritual,” Cole says, clasping his hands around mine. He looks me in the eyes, eyes gleaming with many emotions.

“You have to spend the weekend in the forest,” Cole says. I snatch my hand out of his, shock written across my face. I knew the elders opposed an omega Luna but to force me to do something so ludicrous. I stare at Cole as if he lost his mind. He sighs, obviously expecting that answer.

“Scarlet, it’s the best I can do. You are an omega my mate or not they need some proof you can run his pack in the event I die or if I need to leave,” Cole says, matter of factly. I stand up off my bed and place some distant between us.

“Cole you know I can’t, I’d die out there,” I whisper, quietly. I struggle on simple task like training to fight why would they put a death wish on me? Cole stands, approaching me rapidly.

“Scarlet do you think this is easy?” Cole snaps, patience now running thin. “I have spent days pleading and begging just to get you a spot and not have them make you some mistress!” I step back, eyes widening and tears springing in my eyes.

“Don’t start with the tears. I know my father raised you but nativity is not that of a Luna. They question you scarlet. When we were kids they expected us to never be a longterm thing. Now that we at-“

“I’ll do it,” I cut him off. I wrap my arms around myself, starting to feel guilty. I knew the behind the scenes for him were messy, but I didn’t expect them to be so hard. I chose to ignore it, and that’s my own downfall. Cole blinks, I assume he prepared a whole speech to convince me.

“Oh,” The silence hangs in the air, only my soft sniffle breaking the silence sporadically. Cole takes another step and my hands fly up involuntarily.

“I’m tired Cole, I think it’s best we finish tomorrow,” I mumble. Cole frowns, before spinning around and walking out. I close the door softly behind him, and shaking my head. I attempt to go back to normal, reading my book, trying to retain the information in it.

The many books he used to convince me that I still have potential to have a wolf just like others. My fingers slide down the aged papers, hoping this would distract me from my inevitable doom. I take a sharp breath. How to distract yourself from your own death?

Friday.

Only a few days away-yet the dread eats away at me. I knew I’d barely make it if at all, but I know my worth is nothing right now. As my tears finally fall I hear a wolf’s howl. I look out my window and stare at the tree-line. I shiver, my end of days is near I suppose.

“He asked you to do what?!” Mae whisper-yells as we lay the pups down for their afternoon nap. I just nod my head in solidarity. Mae knew how hard it is to be an omega, but she has it worse in a way. The pack actively looks down on her. I have the alphas’ protection. Savannah look at me worriedly.

I give them a small smile, trying to not cry again in front of the pups. I know their worry is founded. They were there when I tried to spar with a gamma. I ended up with a bruised back and busted lip. I lasted all of 30 seconds. Cole lost it and sparred with the same gamma. He beat her until she begged for mercy. Back then I was horrified yet relieved. He fought for me, but this fight he couldn’t endure.

The years of being a practice dummy with Lloyd didn’t seem to help that confidence in me. I’m useless, wolf-less and unable to fight any creature that isn’t a fly. It’s like the elders want me to fail.

“Scar…why would you agree?” Savannah asks, patient like a true mother. I shrug my shoulders.

“He said he tried his best and that’s their only condition. I don’t want to disappoint him, he’s done so much for me already,” I offer, feeling the guilt rise into my chest once again. Mae and Savannah share a troubled look. I look up as there is a knock. Cole stands at the doorway, holding flowers.

On a normal day I would rush to him, accept the flowers and tell him how my day has been. I can’t muster that today. Mae tries to nudge me but I feel rooted to my spot. I stare at the flowers, knowing they were a sign of apology. I snap out of it and shuffle forward. I take my flowers.

“Thank you,” I murmur and place them on a cabinet. Cole stares at me before stepping into the room. A single look causes Mae and Savannah to leave the room. I wilt as I feel alone to a storm.

“Nugget, c’mere,” Cole says, so soft I barely recognize him. It’s all it takes for my dam to break. I rush into his chest and begin to cry. He rubs my back and gives me gentle coos to calm me down. I was so scared so unbelievably scared.

“We will make it through, I promise,” Cole whispers kissing at my head and cheeks. I choke out another sob. As I finally move my face I spot a figure.

Lloyd.

He has this expression that is jarring. I can’t tell his emotions but his thoughts. This is the first time in weeks that I have seen him. He walks away and disappears behind the corner. After Cole manages to calm me down he talks for a bit.

“I’m trying to make a loophole, see if potentially we can go together,” he says, sounding just as hopeful as he normally sounds. I nod my head, drinking in any hope I could get.

“I don’t have a wolf…that’s like putting a human out there Cole I-“ I choke on my tears, swallowing around the rock in my throat. Cole shushes me, smiling at me and kissing my head.

“Let me talk to father one more time and see what we can do, I know there is a loophole,” Cole says, softly. He gives one final back rub before walking away.

As soon as he steps out Mae and Savannah are back in the room. Mae hugs me while Savannah looks conflicted. I sit in the comfort of my friends.

“Let’s go out.” Mae suddenly declares, boldly. Savannah snorts, knowing it is impossible.

“I’m serious. Savannah we just need to get passes for the night and-“

“No need, let’s go,” I say, wanting to forget. They both stare at me as if my brain opened my skull and walked past them.

“Scarlet we could get in serious trouble,” Savannah reminds, standing up as if just thinking of it scared her.

Mae waves her off and grins. “Your future Luna has spoken! We ride at dawn bitches!”