Introduction to sex

At 21 years, I had met two boyfriends. One broke my virginity and the other was an older man that really taught me what love was. For some reason, the one who broke my virginity was never what I dreamt of. Well we meet somewhere in a school compound while I was reading books in my high school. Hello, am Ben, am Martha, nice meeting you. You are my future wife, realy! Yes. The was our very first conversation.

From that day, we became friends. We used to meet at that particular spot and I really loved the attention. He was the second man in the world to tell me sweet things. The I love you. I grew up in a home where, no one ever said I love you. Over the years, my mother and father or siblings never said I love you to anyone. It's for this reason that I promised my future kids to always tell them how I love them on a daily basis. My future husband too, lol. So one day he invites me at their home, I gladly accepted the invitation because he had assured me he had never slept with anyone and he respected me until our wedding day. He had promised me that I would be his wife. With that excitement, I was welcomed with a glass of milk, and a British cake. A photograph album followed. I started opening one by one. He was explaining this and that in the photo album. Minutes later, his two siblings came in and said hello. As if it was a planned move, they disappeared immediately like a blackout. After my glass of milk, he invites me to his bed room, I was a bit hesitant but he assured me he had never had sex with anyone and that it would be after our  wedding once again.

That sounded goodness and sweet, I trusted him fully. 15 minutes into his bedroom, he was allover me, he started touching me. I felt uncomfortable, he pushed me hard on the wall and promised it was not going to happen , that he was just enjoying touching me. Ben became alittle rough, he wanted to tear off my knicker. Oh my God, I got scared, it was becoming serious. What had I got myself into! He succeeded in raping me. It was horrible and one of the worst things that ever happened to me in my entire life. As I write this, am sobbing because the experience was too ugly. So ugly, so unbearable.  How I dispised him, I cried and hated him forever. That was the first and last time I ever put my eyes on him.  I went home in tears but did not say what had happened to me. How could I? Everyone thought I had gone to read books. How could I even beginning explaining how I messed up with some boy.  That was the end of me and Ben. He tried reaching out, I closed my self out from his world.  He was the greatest mistake of my whole life. I remembered one of the lines that had attracted me to him, he once said ' we are poor but can handle any situation.'wow, for some reason this statement had attracted me to him but look where we are now! I hated him to the moon and back. Son of a bitch couodnot keep his word. Goodbye forever Ben