The weight of whispers

I clearly remember falling asleep on my bed. So, how and why am I waking up outside my room, at my doorstep?! No, seriously—what in the world? 

This could only be the deed of my so-called roommate.

 Sebastian.

 Yes, I know I'm a deep sleeper, I honestly do regret that about me.

 I've complained to the dorm officer about Sebastians' reckless attitude, but nobody listens. Of course Sebastian is the golden boy child, the favourite who does no harm. 

    The dorm officer keeps telling me, “keep up with him this semester, then you'll be able to choose the room of your choice”. What if I don't make it out alive till the semester is over? 

We don't even get to chat, not like roommates. Not even like friends. That's torture to my kind of personality.

I somehow regret coming to this institution. The gossips, cold glances. I could handle them on normal days, but some days it was heavy. Anyways, I won't let any of that weigh me down. 

I told my mom I could have gone to a place where i atleast felt welcome; yes my mom knows about my sexuality, she has always been encouraging, she's the reason I haven't broken down. She always yaps about me getting a good looking man, yh.. .yh i came here for a purpose, if love finds me so be it. But guess what? a bully found me first. Sigh.

I tilted the hand of the door, tugging it. I heard laughter coming from the room. A loud bang was heard on the door, I shrank back, frightened, unsure what it was about.

“Let me in,” I said, hitting hard on the door. 

More laughter erupted.

“Oh my God he sounds so girly.” I heard Maxwell say. 

“Promise you wouldn't apply lip gloss ever again and we'll let you in” Tristan added giggling. 

All Sebastian did was to roll in laughter.

“I'm really late for class, please let me in, applying lip gloss is never a bad thing to do, why don't you bitches go F yourselves!” I had to scream this time.

I yanked the handle so hard that when it finally swung open, I fell straight into the room. And again the trio pointed their fingers at me laughing like hyenas. I didn't find it funny.

“I can't believe you chose to stay with this shemale, Sebastian”. Maxwell sneered, picking up my make-up kit. 

“Give it back to me!” I said grabbing it from him. “Don't ever mess with anything of mine. Go to your rooms!”

I saw their faces twisted with disgust. I care less of what they think about me. “If you can't stand the sight of me, you both better leave cause I'm about to shower”

“Oh, sure we’re leaving, i don't wanna gag this morning” Tristan and Maxwell chuckles as they both tried to leave, Sebastian wasn't moving a feet. “Aren't you coming with us?” Tristan asked Sebastian. 

“Uhmm…I'll finish up here, I'll catch up with you guys shortly” 

They both left.

I had to lock the room behind them, and pull off my shirt. 

Sebastian grabbed my hair without warning and pressed my head against my bed, his words were stern.

“Don't you ever pull your shirt in front of me, I don't wanna ever see those bare breasts of yours”! He said as he let go of me. He was really strong, he had muscles I cherish. His voice was angelic yet hoarse. 

He released me. 

While catching my breath I muttered, “I didn't ask you to stare” 

“Yh, you wish. I would never!” He said as he walked towards the door. 

“Sure” the corner of my lips tugged with a smile. “I bet if you were given a chance you would pin me on the wall and kiss the hell out of me”

The door slammed.

***

I was done with lectures in the morning. I heard the bell rang, it was time for lunch. I dread coming to the school cafeteria to eat. I was the only openly gay in that school. There was commentary of course—mostly unwanted.

 As I sat on my usual seat, an Ugly lady was approaching me and i could bet on her off-shade foundation there are hidden gays in this school. Not that I was ashamed of coming out in the open. I just didn't like their voices when they gossip around me. I still won't disappoint them by showing up in the cafeteria, even if it meant being turned into a clown for the entertainment of the entire school. At least I'm privileged to put a smile on their faces. 

I grabbed and raised my fork to my mouth but a loud bang rocked my table, and i ended up spilling the food over my shirt.

Laughter erupted.

I swallowed down a tired sigh as I brush down the stain off my shirt but it was of no use. I tilted my head up to meet her mocking eyes. It was that ugly fat looking lady who can't differentiate the colour of her skin with the foundation she applied.

I had lost my appetite.

“That ugly color suits him…i mean her, don't you think?"

A sickening feminine voice asked in amusement, and i did not have to look to know that it was Layla. One of the many admirers and followers of Sebastian. 

The ugly lady was standing right in front of my table, her arms crossed under her barely covered breasts, as she glared down at me with a wicked smirk.

"No color suits him. Not even that ugly stain on his shirt. As a matter of fact, he is a stain to this institution. A fucking freak." The ugly lady said as she spat.

“Sebastian how do you cope with a freak like that?”

More words were thrown at me like a blazing fire. The ugly lady grabbed the can of soda on the table, twisted it open and turned it upside down on my head, dunking all of the liquid all over me.

I gasped in shock, shifting on my seat as i tried to avoid the soda but humiliation and shock had me frozen. Loud laughs and hoots of encouragement rose from the crowd watching, as they found my humiliation very entertaining.

She lowered her head close to mine and whispered. “I wish you would cease to exist.”