The Offer

Cressida's pov 

Madame Voss was reading me a list and she had been reading it for what felt like hours.

"No strenuous activity," she said and held up one finger. "No lifting anything heavier than a book." Two fingers. "No skipping meals." Three fingers. "No staying up past midnight." Four fingers. "No leaving the academy grounds." Five fingers. "And no magic."

I stared at her. "No magic?"

"None."

"I can't just turn off my magic."

"You can try."

"That's not how it works."

Voss lowered her hand and gave me a look that would have made a younger wolf flinch. "You nearly died, child. Your heart stopped twice. Your magic is unstable and your body is weak and if you push yourself too hard you will end up right back in this bed." She paused. "Do you want to end up back in this bed?"

"No."

"Then no magic."

I opened my mouth to argue and closed it because she was right and I hated when she was right.

Ember meowed from her spot on the pillow and I picked her up and held her against my chest. The kitten was warm and small and her purr vibrated through my bandages. She had no idea how close she had come to losing me. None of them did.

Lucian was standing by the door with his arms crossed and his winter-thunder eyes fixed on me. He had been quiet during Voss's lecture and his face was unreadable and I could not tell what he was thinking.

Voss finished her list and tucked her hands into the pockets of her apron. "Any questions?"

"When can I go back to class?"

"Tomorrow. If you rest today."

"When can I go back to practice?"

"A week. At least."

I groaned. Ember meowed.

Voss looked at Lucian and then back at me. "The Alpha has offered to keep you in his quarters for the next few days. He says it will be easier to monitor your recovery."

My face went warm. "He did?"

"He did."

I looked at Lucian and he looked at me and his expression had not changed.

"It's practical," he said. "The infirmary is crowded and my quarters are closer to the kitchens and the baths and I have a more comfortable bed."

"You want me to stay in your room."

"I want you to recover. Your room is at the end of a long corridor and the walk alone would exhaust you. Mine is on the ground floor."

"That's not an answer."

"It's the only one you're getting."

Voss cleared her throat and there was a small smile on her face that she was trying very hard to hide. "I'll leave you two to discuss it."

She walked out and the door closed behind her and I was alone with Lucian and my racing heart.

"You don't have to do this," I said.

"I know."

"You have council meetings and classes and patrols. You don't have time to take care of me."

"I'll make time."

"Lucian—"

"I almost lost you." His voice was quiet and his eyes were dark and there was something in them that made my chest ache. "I watched your heart stop twice. I held your hand while you turned white. I carried you out of the infirmary because I couldn't stand to see you on that bed anymore." He stepped closer and his hand found mine. "So yes. I will make time. I will skip every meeting and every class and every patrol if I have to."

I did not know what to say.

He squeezed my fingers. "Stay with me. Just for a few days. Until you're stronger."

"You're not going to let me say no are you."

"I would prefer it if you said yes."

"That's not the same thing."

He almost smiled. "It's close enough."

I said yes.

Not because he pressured me and not because I was too tired to argue. I said yes because I wanted to. Because the thought of walking back to my cold room and climbing into my narrow bed and listening to the wind rattle the window made something heavy settle in my chest. Because his room was warm and his bed was soft and when I woke up there I did not feel alone.

Lucian carried my bag and Ember rode on my shoulder and we walked through the corridors together. Wolves stared and whispered and I did not care. Let them talk. Let them wonder. Let them spread whatever rumors they wanted.

His quarters were warm. The fire had been lit and the candles were burning and the bed was piled with blankets. Ember jumped onto the mattress and circled twice and curled into a ball on the pillow.

"You're spoiling her," I said.

"She deserves to be spoiled."

"She's a cat."

"She's your cat."

I sat on the edge of the bed and the mattress dipped under my weight. Lucian set my bag on the chair and stood in front of me with his hands in his pockets and his expression soft.

"Are you comfortable?" he asked.

"I'm fine."

"You need to eat something."

"I'm not hungry."

"You're always not hungry."

"I'm not hungry."

He walked to the small kitchen area in the corner of his quarters and opened the cupboard and pulled out a bowl and a spoon and a can of something I could not see from the bed.

"What are you doing?"

"Making you soup."

"I don't want soup."

"You need soup."

"Voss already made me soup."

"Voss is not here."

I watched him open the can and pour the contents into the bowl and set the bowl in some kind of heating contraption I did not recognize. He moved around the kitchen like he had done this a hundred times and he probably had. He was the Alpha. He had probably made soup for injured wolves more times than he could count.

But he had never made soup for me.

The soup was warm and salty and I ate it because he was watching me and because my stomach had started to growl and because I was tired of arguing.

"Good?" he asked.

"It's fine."

"It's from a can."

"I noticed."

He sat on the edge of the bed and his weight made the mattress dip toward him. Ember meowed and stretched and resettled on the pillow.

"You're staring," I said.

"I'm observing."

"Same thing."

He smiled and the sight of it made my heart stutter. "How are you feeling?"

"Tired."

"Then rest."

"I've been resting for days."

"And you'll rest for more days."

"That's what Voss said."

"Voss is wise."

I set down the bowl and leaned back against the pillows and looked at him. His dark hair was falling across his forehead and his shirt was wrinkled and there were shadows under his eyes. He looked exhausted. He looked like he had not slept in days.

"When did you last sleep?" I asked.

"That's not important."

"It is important."

"I'll sleep when you're better."

"Lucian."

"Cressida."

I reached for his hand and he let me take it. His fingers were warm and rough and they wrapped around mine like they belonged there.

"You can't take care of me if you're falling over," I said.

"I'm not falling over."

"You have bags under your eyes."

"I have character."

"You have bags."

He laughed and it was a real laugh and it made my chest feel tight and full at the same time. "Fine. I'll sleep. But only if you sleep too."

"That's not a fair trade."

"It's the only trade I'm offering."

I pulled his hand to my chest and held it there. His palm was warm against my heart.

"One hour," I said.

"Two."

"One and a half."

"Deal."

We lay on the bed and Ember curled between us and the fire crackled and the wind rattled the window. Lucian's arm was around my waist and his face was pressed to my hair and his breathing was slow and steady.

"Lucian?"

"Hmm?"

"Thank you."

"For what?"

"For the soup. For the bed. For not giving up on me."

He was quiet for a moment and his arm tightened around me.

"I will never give up on you," he said. "Not ever."

I closed my eyes and listened to his heartbeat and felt the warmth of his body against mine and for the first time in days I felt safe.

I woke up alone.

The fire had burned down to embers and the room was dim and Ember was gone and Lucian's side of the bed was cold. I sat up and looked around and found him standing by the window with his back to me.

"Lucian?"

He turned. His face was pale and his eyes were dark and there was something in his expression that made my stomach drop.

"What's wrong?"

"The council," he said. "They want to see me."

"Now?"

"Now."

I pushed back the blankets and swung my legs over the side of the bed and he crossed the room and knelt in front of me and took my hands.

"Stay here," he said. "Rest. I'll be back as soon as I can."

"Lucian—"

"It's nothing. Just a routine debrief."

"You're lying."

He looked at me and his jaw tightened and he did not deny it.

"How long will you be gone?" I asked.

"I don't know."

"Then come back."

"I will."

He kissed my forehead and stood and walked to the door and paused with his hand on the frame.

"Cressida."

"Yes?"

"I love you."

He left before I could even answer.