Chapter 7 - Alanna

I finally find Kace with a long line of other members waiting for their assignments. I cut in front of the others and come face to face with our beta and my friend. I hear grumbles behind me but I ignore them. What I need is way more important.

“There you are,” Kace says in relief, eying me up and down, checking to make sure I’m okay. “What happened to you this morning? The alphas are pissed. Oh by the way, there’s three of them which you would know if you showed up on time!”

I wave him off. “I know. I already saw them. Not important. I need a pair of gloves.”

Kace grabs me around my upper arm, dragging me away from the crowd. I huff but let him pull me anyway, knowing resistance would be futile. He finds a little area less populated and turns to face me, his handsome face creased with worry.

“What the fuck is going on with you, Alanna? You look terrible.”

I scoff. “Gee, thanks.”

He levels me with a look I know all too well. It means ‘cut the bullshit’. He uses it on me more than any other member and it’s a wonder he continues to be my friend. He probably feels sorry for me since no one else other than him or Nina likes to associate with me. No one wants to get too close to the ‘outsider’.

“I'm being serious right now, Alanna. What is going on with you? You missed this morning's meeting, I haven't seen you in days, and you rarely show up to training anymore. I'm worried about you and if something is wrong you need to tell me so I can help you.”

I sigh, hating how worried he is. I don’t mean to stress him out but whatever is happening to me is something I can’t explain, much less tell him or anyone else about. I’m scared of losing the only two people in this pack who care about me but my gut says to keep quiet and I always listen to it.

“I-”

“Don’t even try to lie to me,” he interrupts what was going to be a piss poor excuse. “Something is going on and I can’t help unless you confide in me. You moved out of the packhouse and into some abandoned cabin on the outskirts of the pack. You barely speak to anyone anymore.”

He looks at me with his deep green eyes and my heart hurts at the concern I see.

“Please,” he pleads. “Let me help you.”

Goddess, I wish I could just tell him everything. But I can’t. Kace is our beta and people are going to rely on him to help them through this transition. He doesn’t need to be worrying about me on top of everything else.

I try for a smile, praying it comes out genuine. “Kace, everything is okay, I promise. I moved because I got sick of all the comments and looks I get from the others. No one wants me here; they’ve all made that very clear. You know I don’t belong. I’m just trying to make everything easier for everyone.”

My words aren’t a total lie. The other members definitely don’t like me and never have and I was getting sick of the comments and sneers. I let a lot of shit roll off my back but eventually, it gets exhausting having people look down on me for something I can’t control.

My pale skin and even paler hair are something out of my hands but no one cares how I feel. They don’t care how many nights I spent as a child curled up under the moon, crying to our Goddess to just make me look normal. How many times I came close to ripping out my hair so no one would have to see the silver locks anymore.

I had no one to hold me during those times and tell me everything was going to be okay. No parents. No guardians. No siblings.

Nothing.

Whoever my parents are didn’t even want anything to do with me considering they dropped me off at the border and left. The moment everyone saw how I looked, they began to keep their distance like I was bad luck brought upon them all.

To this day, I still hear the whispers calling me a curse.

I may not have distanced myself for only those reasons, but they do contribute. They are just a small drop in a larger pond of why I’m seriously considering denouncing the pack and just leaving.

Honestly, if it weren’t for the hunters, I think I might have already disappeared. No one would miss me.

Kace and Nina might but they’d get over it with time.

Kace’s eyes soften and his face crumbles. “Alanna…”

I hold up a hand. “Don’t. I don’t need the pity nor do I want it.”

He goes to reach for me but I take a step back. “I don’t pity you, I promise. I just hate how you’ve been treated. It’s not fair. I wish there was more I could do.”

I shake my head. “You’ve helped enough. You can’t change how I look and you sure as hell can’t change the way people treat me. It just is what it is and I’ve accepted that.” I look at him, my tone serious. “And you should too.”

He sighs, his shoulders dropping an inch. “Okay. I’m sorry.”

I feel a little guilty that in a way, I’m lying, even if the reasons I gave him are valid. It doesn’t feel good but I need to protect myself, especially now.

“So…” I say, a little smirk curling my lips. “What are the chances of you letting me off the hook today?”

He laughs and I already know his answer before he says, “Zero.”

While I knew that was coming, I still hoped I’d have just a tiny bit of luck on my side. Guess today is just not my day. Whatever. I’m used to it by now.

I groan, though it’s more playful than serious. “Do you have a pair of gloves I can use then?”

He raises one thick, dark eyebrow. “Why do you want gloves? Everyone else is going to be sparring with minimal clothing and you're covered from head to toe in dark colors and thick fabrics. Aren’t you sweating?”

Sweating icicles maybe. I roll my eyes and pop a hip, settling my hand on top of the bone. “I’m fine. Quit worrying. I just don’t want to break a nail while fighting.”

He shakes his head and I swear I hear him mutter, ‘Goddess, give me strength’, under his breath but I choose to ignore it. Kace may love me, in a completely platonic way, but I know I get under his skin sometimes. Again, I wonder why he deals with me.

“Yes, I have a pair. I’ll go grab them. Stay here, I’ll be right back.”

I watch his strong shoulders bunch under the fabric of his white shirt as he walks away. For not the first time, I hope I’m lucky enough to find someone like him for a mate. While I’ve never looked at Kace as anything other than a friend, I hope my future mate is as caring and sweet as he is. Also, as handsome.

Kace is like everyone else with his tan skin, dark hair, and dark eyes. He’s built like your typical beta, all muscles and hard lines, and fights like a dream. With Shaun’s behavior, Kace kept this pack from falling to pieces and I’m beyond grateful the triplet alphas from hell decided to keep him as beta.

I would have caused a riot if they hadn’t.

Kace returns a few minutes later, carrying a pair of black leather gloves that he hands out to me. Thankfully, they aren’t the kind that are fingerless. Those would be useless in my predicament.

I pull them on, noting they’re a size too big and I’ll have to be conscious of that, but already feeling better, a bit of weight lifting off my shoulders. Now, whoever I go up against today will be protected from me.

I don’t need to give anyone else a reason to call me a curse or a freak and turning someone into solid ice from a single touch would do just that.