Chapter 3

She was seated on the bed cross-legged, with her head downcast. Her heart thumped the moment, Irfan stepped into the room. He said his salam quietly. Nasreen did not bother replying.

Nasreen!! He called calmly again,  she didn't raise her head upward. He thought she must be nervous. "Can we pray at least?" No response still.

"What is wrong with you Nasreen?" She looked at him with a dispirited expression on her face. When he saw the resigned expression on her face, he became gloomy at the thought of what he had to face, the agony of a bereft marriage.

He tried to act as cool as possible. "Why did your mood swing suddenly, you were fine at the dinner party."  He realized he was talking to himself, he got irked by her stern visage. He moved closer and touched her shoulder lightly, so she could at least look at him. She shrugged his hands away, Irfan froze. "Don't touch me,"  His brow's furrowed in annoyance.  "I am your husband you know right." " Frankly Speaking, I do not give a damn," Nasreen said now staring daggers at him.  "What did you just say?" Now he was completely pissed.

"I said I do not give a damn, about you or this marriage, so I will not allow you to touch me." She looked at him furiously at his eye level.

"This is absurd, you think I care if you gave a damn or not, I don't care, you are my wife so I can touch you if I want."

"You won't touch me, and you do not yell at me, the last time I checked it was my body, and only I have the right over it, incase you don't know."

"Nasreen look, if I want to touch you I will, cause  you can't deny me my rights." He said heatedly.

"Hmm,ai bari na gayama, sai ka fita daga sahun angwaye, an daina ce maka ango, gwarama ka sani. Let me tell you until you have left the line of grooms before I even consider what you are talking about it is better you know." She folded her arms on her chest, bobbing her head continuously.

Irfan was utterly speechless, he wanted to speak but there was nothing to utter out. "I want to see you try Nasreen."  He stormed out of the room. He paced to and fro in his room, thinking of the nerve she got. How dare she! Who the hell did she think she was, she had no idea who she was dealing with, he was going to make her wish she never agreed to the marriage.

A stab of loss and emptiness filled her, she burst out in tears. This was not how she envisioned her first night, she dreamed of being in Habeeb's arms, or with a man she loved at least. She curled herself on the bed, and tears gushed heavily from her eyes. 

If he thinks she was going to be his obedient wife he was dreaming. With those thoughts, she drifted off to sleep. She didn't even bother removing the heavy dress or wiping her makeup off.

That was how the first two weeks of their marriage were spent in a blur. He never even glanced at her, and she never did, they were just two people who lived together in the name of husband and wife. Until last night when he was determined to make her his wife in every sense.

*******

"Sannun ku dazuwa, welcome."  Hajia Ummah said cheerfully. Nasreen hunkered down to greet her grandmother inlaw. Hajia Ummah enveloped her in a warm hug.  "How are you Nasreen, I hope you and Irfan are fine?" She asked searching the young lady's eyes. Nasreen wanted to speak but became still when

Irfan came in. Their eyes jammed for a split a second and quickly looked away. Her thoughts drifted to last night when he asked her about it. "I am on my period Irfan, for crying out loud. "You were on your period one week ago."

"It came back."

"Be ready, cause next time I won't take no for an answer." "What if I say no?" 

"What if you say no?" He retorted her question back to her. "That is your problem." So you plan on violating me?" "Who said anything about violating you, just keep my reservation." He twisted the knob of the door and left. Nasreen sank on her bed and thought about his demands, She recalled her aunties lectures and preachings. Do not deny your husband his right. She felt forced, and she did not want to feel forced to do it, she wanted it to be of her own free will, and so she had to come up with some more excuse to keep him off the hook.

Irfan sat down close to Hajia Ummah. They talked about everything, eating the scrumptious meals prepared. "Irfan where are you going to take your amarya for honeymoon?" Hajia Ummah said out of the blue. Nasreen played with her fork, as she listened to Irfan. "Hajiya, we are not going anywhere, I am very busy at work, she should understand that." He said curtly, and continued munching his meal.

Nasreen on the other hand lowered her head. She had lost appetite for the delectable meal. Hajia Ummah noticed her moodiness. "What is wrong Nasreen?"

"Nothing Hajia." She said in a shaky voice. She excused herself and ran to Hajia ummah's room. She slithered against the door, and tried to sniffle her tears, as poignant memories of her and Habeeb came rushing.

"Where would you like us to spend our honeymoon habibti?" "I don't know, I have a lot of places on my mind, but I think Rio would be nice to start with.

"Rio is nice what about the Maldives?"

"It is amazing, but I am real indecisive."

"You know when I have swept my princess off her feet, we will travel around the world, kawai connecting flight zamu nayi."

"Aww, Habibi I cannot wait to be your wifey."

She cried harder as she remembered all those sweet moments with Habeeb. She wanted to scream and shout, but she couldn't. This was her destiny she couldn't change it.

"Irfan I think you should go and check up on her." "Hajia kyale ta, leave her alone, she would calm down."

Irfan  this is not nice, you have to be patient and gentle with her, you know it is not easy to marry a person you never had the mindset to marry, you are just a few weeks married, you have to be patient with each other throughout your lives."

"She could have not married me if she was not ready to be a wife." He yelled.

Hajia Ummah shook her head. "This is not how your mother trained you Irfan, I don't expect such from you." Hajia Ummah got up and went to check on Nasreen.

"Nasreen!! Hajia Ummah called. Nasreen quickly wiped her tears and opened the door. Hajiya Ummah embraced her in a comforting hug, when they pulled apart, she guided her to the bed. "Stop crying kinji, he didn't mean what he said okay." Nasreen fell at ease at that moment, she was glad Hajiya Ummah understood her situation. "Don't mind him I have talked to him, if he troubles you just come straight to me, I know he can be very stubborn and strong-headed sometimes, you just have to be patient and try to understand him, he will come around." Hajiya Ummah said calmly. Nasreen nodded her head acceptingly.  She wanted to tell Hajia Ummah about his demands but she couldn't get herself to do that, she did not want to cause any rift between her and her grandson.

"I know what you are going through I know it is not easy to forget the person you had your mindset to marry, nobody is expecting you to become Irfan's perfect wife, it will take time, but one day In sha Allah both of you will find happiness," she rubbed her back soothingly and wiped her tears, stop crying, Everything will be alright, one day everything will make sense, you will come and give me a testimony of how madly in love you both are." Nasreen sniggered a little, she imagined if that day will ever come.

"Now smile, you don't have to worry him when he starts to act all bossy, don't  mind him okay, show him that he has to respect you, and he is not your boss, but your equal partner and he has treat you as such."  "Ohh, grams thank you so much, I am really glad I had this conversation with you." Nasreen hugged her again. "Any time dear, He said you should get ready to leave."

"So soon Hajia?" "Yes, that is what OG said." "OG?" Nasreen asked inquisitively.

"Yes, we call him because of his bossy nature, he is just like his grandfather. Allah ya jikansa."

"Amin grams,"  Nasreen said. Pinning her abaya scarf securely on her head. When she came downstairs Irfan was already waiting in the car. She hugged Hajia Ummah again,  and she slid into the passenger seat of his sleek Mercedes. "Take care of your wife Irfan." He only nodded firmly and drove away.

Nasreen fastened her seat belt not sparing a glance at Irfan. He drove in silence. He spoke after some ten minutes.

"Look, Nasreen I am sorry if you got offended about what I said."

"It's okay you  made yourself clear earlier." "Nasreen please try and reason with me." "I am trying to reason with you but it is as if you don't understand me."  "Seriously Nasreen or you are the one being unreasonable here." She wanted to speak but it was better she kept quiet. She did not even want to give him the comfort of speaking to her. She shrugged her shoulders and let out an exhausted sigh.  He dropped her off at home and zoomed off to work.

*******

Nasreen was getting ready for bed. When she heard a knock on the door, she said as she stilled in the position of packing her hair. "Come in," she said lightly. Irfan stood by a distance, folding his arms on his chest, looking at her without batting a single eyelash. Nasreen scanned her appearance, she was wearing a long-sleeved pj's and its trouser.

"What do you want?" She said crisply as he came closer to her.

"You know what I want, I told you I won't take no for an answer." He said in a dangerously low tone.

She could have considered giving in to his demand, but not today, she was still angry at him. So any physical emotions she had for him or wanted to feel had died down.  He was coming closer to her, his gaze fixed on her. "What are you doing?"  She said in a shaky voice.

"You know  exactly what I am doing don't play dumb." She moved closer to her dressing mirror and hurriedly grabbed a glass-bottled perfume, she held it out in self-defense. "Don't any come closer."

"Oh please stop the act."  He collected the perfume from her. Nasreen was taken aback by his swift action, before she could let loose, he held her by her waist firmly, his gaze pierced into hers, her heart was palpitating a thousand times, as her chest heaved up and down.

"I.. I.. am not ready Irfan." She stuttered.

"Oh really!! How long does it take for you to be ready, how would you feel if I called mom and told her you said you are denying my rights."

"You can't do that you know." "I told you I won't take no for an answer, So any reservations?" He said in a thick voice, that was laced heavily with passion.

This was it, there was no going back. She gulped hard, she closed her eyes tightly, she nodded her head giving in her consent.

And then things started happening quickly. He captured his lips on hers, violently, while his hands moved roughly all over her body, she was trying to catch her breath, and let Irfan know that he was going too fast. but Irfan didn't seem like he understood.

This was not how she envisioned her first time to be. She imagined it to be with the man she loved and he would be very gentle and know what and how to make her feel comfortable and safe.

But not this.. she felt Irfan's touch burn her, his hands moved under her top, and he tried to unbutton them, desperately. Everything happened so fast that they were on the bed already.

She had to use all her power and might to pull away from his imprisoning hold, harsh and sloppy kisses.

"Stop it Irfan, you are hurting me, and you are going too fast." She said in a shaky voice almost in tears.

Irfan tilted his head up, his forehead creased in confusion. Too fast? did she know how long he had waited for this day? But when his eyes met hers he saw fear in her eyes. He stopped cause he didn't want her to fear him, and she was legitimately scared from the look of things.

He had to use his strongest will to control himself. He sat at the edge of the bed, trying to revive himself again. Gaining restraint, he had one last look at her and left.  Nasreen was still trembling, what just happened she asked herself, as she wiped her swollen lips with the back of her hand, and buttoned up her shirt. She had nothing to say except thank God he stopped. He stopped now, but would he stop another time? She thought as she bit her lip in distress. She knew it was not right to have kept him waiting for this long on something that was his right. Or both their rights Islamically.

********

It had been three days since the incident, she barely saw Irfan. It was mostly in the evenings when he came back she saw him. She desired to go to school, instead of lounging around the house watching E! or 90-day finance.

Good for her she had lectures by 2 pm, She got all dressed up, her savoir-faire was just on point.

She examined herself in the mirror,  now it was time to put on the facade as a  happy bride.

She pinned her scarf securely on her head, picked and Fendi Kan's handbag from her bed, and had one last glance at herself in the mirror, and off she went.

Everywhere became silent the moment Nasreen stepped inside the class, she walked elegantly like a model on the runway to the front of the class, she kept her bag on the podium and stood watching them, as they murmured words like the pretty bride, glowing bride." In Hausa. One of the students spoke out: "Congratulations Mrs. Nasreen on behalf of all of us, we wish you a blissful marriage, and may Allah bless your union with love and good children."

"Aw, Amin, Amin. thanks, I appreciate it a lot all of you get extra five marks for this."

"Yay.." they clapped the class was filled with an uproar of laughter and happiness. As always. Nasreen always made the atmosphere lively.  "Okay, enough of that let's learn. What do you understand by doping...  The lecture went on and on...

After the lecture, she decided she wanted to visit her parents. She met only her dad at home, After they exchanged pleasantries, she sat on a stool beside him.

"Nasreen does Irfan know that you are here?" Sulyman asked looking at her quizzically.

"No dad he doesn't."  She fidgeted with her fingers.

"Toh Koma gidan ki, go back to your house."

"But daaaad, I just came." She said childishly.

"No buts or ifs, you have come here thrice  since your marriage, is he not treating you right, tell me now."

"Dad he is okay, there is nothing to worry about."

Since that night he never approached her again in fact he never spoke to her until it was necessary, and likewise she.  Like this morning when she asked him if he wanted to eat. Sultana's driver brought food early that morning for them. "No, I am fasting," Irfan said curtly not meeting her gaze.

"But it is not Thursday or Monday, neither is it the month of Ramadan?" Nasreen asked, her brows furrowed in confusion.

"What do you care." He said heatedly, fixing the lace of his footwear. "I think I should get bonus points if I acted like I cared." She rolled her eyes heavenwards and left. Irfan stilled in his position, he had never been so dissed in his life.

Nasreen hoped it wasn't because of her not giving in to his demand he was fasting.

"Then what is the problem baby?" "Nothing dad I just miss you guys so much."

"Nasreen you are my daughter, and I love you so much, you know this is your house, you are always welcome anytime you want. But things have changed now, you have your own home to take care of, and even if you want to come here at least let him know. And please if he is bothering you tell me so I can do something at least in any way possible."

Nasreen lowered her head blinking severally so she could conceal her tears.

"I understand what you are going through, just be patient. Allah loves those who are patient, with time things will fall in the right place, Habbeb Kuma Allah ya isa!!" He said making Nasreen laugh at the same time she was trying to conceal her tears.

"You see this woman here?"

"Yes, dad this is mom from like back in those days," Nasreen said admiring her mom from her dad's phone as he showed her the picture.

She is the most beautiful woman I have ever met in my life, not just because of her face, but also because of her kind heart."  Nasreen smiled cheerfully, one thing she knew was her parents were irrevocable with each other, there was no doubt about it, she imagined if a day would ever come, that she and Irfan would hold hands and go for evening strolls, eat together, her parents set an ultimate example for them.

"Aman dad nafi mom kyau ai. But dad, I am finer than mom right."  "A'a bawani, nothing like that, my wife is finer than all of you."

"No problem dad, since we are all from the two of you." Her dad laughed

"Yes my baby, I love and cherish all of you so much."  She had always prayed for a husband like her father.

"Dad do you know I have never seen you and mom fight, do you ever fight?"

Her dad chortled. "Have you ever seen two lovers that never argued? we argue, but we don't let our ego or pride come between us, we keep choosing each other over that, we always share our worries, and everything with each other, she is my best friend, tunda nake maman ki bata taba min karya ba, ita ta Koya min karatun qurani, your mother has never lied to me, your mother taught me how to recite the Quran, your mom did a lot of things in my life, that I will forever be grateful to God for sending her into my life she taught me how to love, how to be patient, she taught me how to be a better person. I love her so much. I treat your mom the same way I would like my girls to be treated, so just be patient Nas, I pray for you all the time, keep praying to God, with time everything will fall in place okay..." He rubbed her back soothingly.

"Dad thanks you are my hero, I love you so much may Allah reward you abundantly, grant you and mom a long and prosperous life."

"Amin Nasreen." "So where is our beauty queen?"

"She went out with Sudais."

"When are you traveling dad?" "Next week if Allah wills." "Okay dad have a safe trip my regards to mom, don't forget the gift you promised me." And then she left after she made her dad's favorite tea for him, and helped trim his fingernail. She didn't even get the chance to go to her room. She decided to pay her sister a visit it had been a while.  So she called Irfan to ask him.

"Hello, Salam Alaikum she said in her ever so soft voice.

"Wa Alaikum  Salam,"  he said in a crisp tone. "I want to go and see Ya Sultana."

"As you wish." He ended the call. Why did she have to call and ask, she never asked his permission, she only announced.  She wasn't certain if his reply was a yes or a no, she went with the former. "Oho dai kai ka sani." She zoomed off to her elder sister's house.

When she stepped inside the house, the image she beheld was so satisfactory. Her sister's husband was helping her massage her feet. Her mouth curved into a smile. She imagined if a day like this would ever happen with Irfan!! She quickly snapped out of her thoughts. Why was she even thinking if a day like this will come?.

They exchanged pleasantries.  "Amarya how are you? Hope OG is not troubling you?" Sultan asked. "Or rather troubling each other," Sultana added.

Nasreen let out a sly smile. Just one look at Nasreen, Sultana knew all was not well. When they were alone in her room Sultana inquired; "Nas, what is troubling you?" She handed her a. And sat beside her on the bed, and handed her a glass of parfait.

"Hmmm, nothing  serious." She took a scoop of the parfait.  "Nas you know we have always shared secrets, you can tell me if anything is bothering you."

Nasreen was quiet for a while, she thought of how to start the conversation. She heaved an exhausted sigh and spoke:  "We argued,"

"Okay, Sultana said nodding her head in encouragement.

"Oh my God Yaya this is embarrassing." She let out a repressed giggle.

"Seriously Nas talk to me I am a good listener you know."  "Three  days ago he wanted us to consummate our marriage."  Nasreen paused. "Okay..." Sultana said in encouragement still.

"I told him I wasn't ready, and..." "Okay, so did he force you then?" "No he didn't, but then he said he was going to tell mom  that I am denying him his right." Sultana's eyes bulged out in shock.

"So what happened next?" She said shooting up from her position.  "I agreed, but nothing serious happened, I told him to stop."

"Why did you tell him to stop?" I told him to stop because he was hurting me."

"Did he stop?"  "Yeah he did but," she said worriedly "The little experience is making me scared to want to give in again, I don't know what to do when he demands it again," Nasreen said biting her lower lip as if wanting to say more...

Sultana understood before she could speak any further. "You don't have anything to worry about, it is because it is probably his first time, so he doesn't know how to go about it, don't worry with time you guys are going to learn how to be with each other.

And I know Irfan he his just joking with the threat he doesn't mean it." "Yeah I know, Ya ma Je ya fada, he should go and report, we don't even talk like normal people cause we end up fighting, I am tired." She ran her hand in her hair.

"Nas that is marriage for you, happiness is not waiting for you at your doorstep, you have to try and find and create happiness within, please try to make this marriage work, you just give him a chance, and try to forget Habeeb, I know you loved him but you have to face your present now and try to look for the good in marriage, Habeeb is in the past. He was never yours, try to set your heart free, just let loose, Irfan is a great guy."

"But ya Sultana, how can I, I..," she said in broken sobs,  "It is okay Nas, you have to stop crying, I know it is not easy but, things would get better, I assure you,"  Sultana said rubbing Nasreen's back soothingly. "I would talk to Sultan to talk to him."

"But won't he get angry?" "Don't worry, trust me I've got this, now cheer up." She pats her shoulder lightly. "Thank you, sis," Nasreen said wiping her eye with a tissue paper.

"Hey, Nas, Irfan just called he said he is coming to pick you up,"  Sultan said, as he played peek-a-boo with the twins.  "Okay, ya Sultan." She rolled her eyes heavenwards as she thought of why he was coming to pick her up when she came on her own. Nifa bana son iyayi... She said in her mind and strolled to the kitchen where Sultana was.

"Have you ever cooked for Irfan?" Sultana asked.

"Why would I be cooking for an able man that has two legs, yaya if he is hungry he should go to the kitchen." Nasreen retorted.

"I know Nasreen, that the kitchen is for the hungry," she chuckled. But the reason why I cook for Sultan, is when he goes to work, all the stress,  he's been through, and all the efforts he puts to make sure we are always comfortable, and nobody cares if he has eaten or not, so when he comes home and meets a nice meal, it makes him know that there is someone who cares for him."

"Aww Yaya, I guess I never saw it that way, I will try, but can't be cooking like you o! Bazan iya ba, I can't do it." Nasreen said firmly.

They burst out with laughter and shared gossips as they scurried around the kitchen preparing dinner.

Sultan announced Irfan had arrived.  Sultana told Nasreen to get the door."Yaya why does it have to be me." "Nothing just go and get it, it is nice for a husband to see his beautiful wife's face after a tiring day."  "Hmmm Yaya, he is not like your husband o!" She said as she left to open the door.

And when she opened the door her husband stood there in his handsome masculine grace. He said his Salam to her and she replied slowly. She stepped aside so that he could walk in, they both cast glances at each other before they hastily looked away.

****

On their way back from the masjid, Sultan asked Irfan about his marriage. 

"I've seen some changes in Nasreen, what is going on?" Sultan asked. Irfan's forehead creased in confusion. "Did she say anything to you?"

"No, she didn't, it is just that she is not the bubbly Nasreen I know, she has become quieter these days."

"It would be better if she became quiet as if she is waiting for me to say something and then she would pounce on me, ready to attack."

"It is okay bro, you have to be patient and gentle with her, you know what happened to her she is still trying to get back to normal."

"Why does everybody keep telling me to be patient and gentle with her! I am tired of hearing this all the time, why can't she accept the fact that she is married and forget about that whatever his name is."

"You know his name is Habeeb," Sultan said drily.

"I know, I just want to take away his power." "Yeah snatch it away bro..." Sultan said jokingly.

"Just be patient and gentle with her,  respect her, and give her space, don't go all bossy on her, it would be a wrong way to start your relationship, get to know her, try being her friend first, and even her confidant."

"Okay bro I will try to, I just hope she knows I am being patient with her, not a lot of people will tolerate her attitude."

"But you are not people, you are Irfan, that is caring and understanding, Just try to make your marriage work, don't you know how to woo a woman? with all your handsomeness and body it is a pity, try to be conversant with her, get to know her better, find out what she likes, what makes her happy or sad, appreciate any effort she makes for you, buy her gifts time to time it opens the heart I bet you. I have tried it and it works all the time."

"Thanks for the advice bro, I appreciate it, I will try my best." When they arrived at the house, Irfan clandestinely watched her as she set the table, Nasreen felt uneasy as she felt Irfan's piercing gaze was on her.

"This is delicious hubb." Sultan joined his knuckle to his wife's knuckle.

Irfan smiled "Well done, the food is nice." He said cheerfully to Sultana.  "Well done to Nas," Sultan added. "Thanks, ya Sultan."

Sultan gestured to Irfan to say something to Nasreen. The words just wouldn't come out, but this came out: "I hope you will be cooking like this for me at home."

He said jokingly. Sultana laughed,  Sultan gave him, a this is not what you are supposed to say look. But then he laughed a little anyway, to clear the tension in the atmosphere between the two couples.

Nasreen, she didn't find it funny. The rest of the meal was spent with Sultan, Irfan and Sultana conversing. She only listened to their conversation. Her attention was focused on her niece and nephew.

When it was time to go. Nasreen hugged her sister tightly. "Take care of yourself, sis."

Sultan gave his brother a persuading look. Irfan nodded in affirmation. When she slid into his car she spoke: "Why did you have to tell the driver to take my car home."

"Nothing I just wanted us to go home together," Irfan said crisply. She said nothing and looked out of the windshield. Irfan looked at her and what was making her angry now, he thought.

"Nasreen what is wrong with you, why are you always cranky?" "Why did you think so?" She arched her brows completely "Nothing, I just think you need anger management."  "I do not need anger management, I need you to stop pissing me off." "How do I piss you off?"  "What did you mean by hope you will be cooking for me like this?"  "So that is what is making you angry, look I don't care what you think I mean as long as you won't poison me." He said curtly. She wanted to react but she realized it was better she kept quiet, so she kept quiet.