LOGINAnastasia’s POV:Noah came to me with a question on a night when the house was quiet and Lucas was in his study and Zoe was already asleep and he appeared in the studio doorway in his pajamas with the expression he wore when something had been sitting in him for a while and had decided it was time to come out.“Mama,” he said.“Yes,” I said.He came in and sat in the chair in the corner, the one that was not for working, and he looked at his hands for a moment.“Can I ask you something?” he said.“Yes,” I said.“Did you and Daddy used to be unhappy?” he said.I put my pencil down.I looked at my son who was five years old and had apparently been carrying this question for long enough to have found the right words for it and had chosen tonight and this room to ask it.“Why are you asking?” I said.“Grandma Victoria said something,” he said. “She was talking to Diane and she did not know I could hear and she said she was glad you stayed and I asked her what she meant and she said it was
Anastasia’s POV:Rosa resigned.She came into my office and closed the door behind her, which she never did, and she sat down across from my desk and looked at me with the expression of someone who had made a decision and was not going back on it and also understood what it was going to cost the person across from her.“I’m leaving,” she said.I put my pencil down.“When?” I said.“End of the month,” she said. “I know that’s not much notice and I have already started the transition documentation and I will work as long as you need me after the official date to hand over properly.”I looked at her.“Where are you going?” I said.“I’m starting my own firm,” she said. “Small. Just me and one other person to start. Residential work. Nothing that competes with what we do here.”I sat with that.Rosa. Who had moved my three o’clock without being asked the day Noah started school. Who had translated client feeling into actual specification without being told how. Who had told the Morrison cl
Anastasia’s POV:Noah lost his first tooth at the kitchen table.He was eating an apple and he looked at it and then at us and said I think something happened and held up the tooth in his palm with the expression of someone who had not been expecting this particular development and was still processing whether it was good news or bad.Lucas looked at it.“That’s your first tooth,” he said.“I know it’s my tooth,” Noah said. “I lost it.”“That’s what happens,” Lucas said. “They come out and new ones grow.”Noah looked at the tooth.“Better ones?” he said.“Bigger,” Lucas said.“Are bigger better?” he said.“In teeth yes,” Lucas said.Noah accepted this and put the tooth carefully on the counter and went back to his apple and I sat at the kitchen island and felt something I had not expected to feel about a tooth.Not sadness exactly.The particular feeling of time doing what time did, moving without asking, and the things that marked it arriving before you were ready.Zoe appeared and l
Anastasia’s POV:Dean called at two in the morning.Lucas answered before I registered the phone ringing and I heard his voice say yes and okay and we are coming and then he was already out of bed and I sat up and he looked at me and said she’s in labor and I was dressed before he finished the sentence.Mrs. Hartley had given us a key for exactly this situation and we left the house with the children asleep and the lights off and I sat in the car and texted Simone because I needed to and she responded three minutes later with a voice note that was mostly breathing and one sentence that said I’m not scared I’m ready and I played it twice and held my phone.The hospital was quiet the way hospitals were quiet at that hour, the particular hush of a building that was never fully asleep but had turned down its daytime urgency.Dean was in the corridor outside the delivery suite.He looked at us when we came in and his face was doing several things at once, the open unmanaged face he had wor
Anastasia’s POV:He did not tell me where we were going.He just said to wear something I can walk in and be ready at seven and I had learned by now that when Lucas made plans, he had thought them through in the particular thorough way he thought through everything and the best thing to do was let him.Mrs. Hartley came for the children.Noah negotiated his bedtime immediately upon her arrival and Zoe told her where everything was with the efficiency of someone who had prepared a briefing and Mrs. Hartley accepted both with the patient professionalism that made her invaluable.Lucas was waiting by the car.Dark jacket. No tie. The version of himself that had stopped performing anything.He looked at me when I came out and did the thing with his face that I had stopped trying to intercept before it landed.“You look good,” he said.“You always say that,” I said.“It’s always true,” he said.We drove across the city and I watched the streets and tried to figure out where we were going a
Anastasia’s POV:The community center opened on a morning that was cold and clear and the kind of bright that made everything look deliberate.We arrived early.Lucas drove and the children were in the back seat and Zoe was wearing the grey coat Victoria had bought her because Zoe had told Victoria she needed a coat for important occasions and Victoria had taken this seriously and produced something that was both warm and exactly what Zoe would have chosen herself.Noah was wearing his suit.He had decided this was a suit occasion and nobody had argued because Noah in his suit with both straps on his backpack was one of the most earnest things I had ever seen and I was not going to take that from him.The building looked exactly as I had drawn it.That was the thing that still surprised me every time, not that it existed, but that it looked exactly like what I had imagined. The east wall windows catching the morning light. The old stone detail along the entrance. The garden at the sid
Anastasia’s POV:Simone called at exactly eight forty three the next morning while I was standing in my kitchen in my pajamas staring at the coffee machine like it had personally offended me.“Tell me everything,” she said before I finished saying hello. “And I mean everything. Dean told me Lucas c
Anastasia’s POV:I wore the burgundy dress.Simone had picked it out three weeks ago during one of our Saturday shopping trips that were less about buying things and more about reclaiming the version of me that used to have opinions about what she put on her body. It was fitted without being aggres
Anastasia’s POV:“You have paint on your face.”I looked up from the mood board spread across my desk and found Celeste Dupont standing in my office doorway in a cream blazer and reading glasses pushed up on her head, looking at me the way she looked at everything, like she had already figured it o
Anastasia’s POV:“If you tell her about this meeting I will make sure you never work in this city again. Do you understand me?”I stood completely still in the entrance of my own home with my keys still in my hand and my heart doing something complicated inside my chest.That was my husband’s voice







