Chapter 5: Austin is Austin

Last night is sure the most tiring day I had for the past 19 years. Aside from that rainy lonely night when I runaway.

Anyway, the alarm has been going on for over 10 minutes now. I reached for the damn alarm clock and turn it off. Slowly, I open my eyes looking straight into the ceiling. The world is quite spinning. My head is really heavy like I have a 10-kilogram of metal bar on top of my head. After the conversation with that cocky professor last night, I immediately went home.

Unable to process all the information from the moment I read the book Justin gave me, to that conversation, I slowly dozed off. And here I found myself, wearing the same clothes I have last night. Eew.

Despite having some issues with my head and everything, I need to pull myself up and start my day. There's no time for someone like me to take a rest and take it easy for my life is always on the line. It's been like that for almost five years. Yet, there are still days that I wish I could just lay around and take the rest that I need. But, that wish will forever be just a wish for there is no one that could take care of myself better than what I am doing.

As for a full time part-timer like myself, without working for a day would be a huge problem when my pay comes at the end of the month. Two to three jobs is not enough for my living expenses, as well as for the books that I want. So there's no rest day for me until the end of the month. Or maybe until I finally land myself a steady and high-paying job.

I get the shock of my life when my phone suddenly rang. I looked at the caller's ID, it was Justin. "He-hello?" I said, my voice is a little hoarse. Justin gasped at the other side of the call, "What happened with your voice? Did you stay up late last night?" she said.

I just can't tell her that her professor followed me and that we had some 'sort' of an argument. And that I told her professor to just go to hell. Justin is not into this girly little chit-chat, but she would bug me for details and I don't want that.

"We-well.. no. It was just chi-chilly last night" I said refraining myself from stuttering more. Justin is a smart ass. She would know something is up if I just slip even just a bit.

"Are you sure? You sound terrible" she said

"Yup. I'm okay" I said with full assuring tone.

"Just... Don't work today. Take a rest, will you?" she said.

I took a deep breath, "You know I can't." I said. I heard her sighed on the other line of the call.

"Apartment, food, necessities, water, electricity and more" I continue, counting all my expenses for this month. "I'm good. Don't worry. I can handle it" I added.

"Alright... Well, what can I do? Austin is Austin!" she said laughing. "Just call me if anything happens" she added and end the call.

I smiled at what Justin said, a bittersweet smile. Austin is Austin.

Well, I've been living for my own, way before I runway. Even with hundreds of people around me, I can still feel that I am incomplete. That only I, myself could take care and would give a damn about me. That's how it's always been. Me and myself.

I managed to pull myself up and reached for the pocket of the jacket I'm wearing. The book Justin gave, The First Born is inside. "You know, you really gave me a headache" I said looking at the book in my hands.

Even after thinking about it on the diners and through my way home last night, I'm still confused and somewhat frustrated. I still can't believe what was written on this book. Still, I love the author, Priam, but his book this time is confusing.

His book was always been things about the morphers; how they live, their traditions and more. But this is the first time I came across something like this and for one thing, it is still, Priam's book. It's still early for my shift at the cafe, so I reach for my phone and type the title of the book.

"The...first....born." I muttered typing every letter with my heart beating fast.

After scrolling for quite some time, I came across with a website named Ancient Morphers. It was written on the website that there is only a few copies of the book around the world. After 10 years of publishing it, Priam stopped the production of the book, took out all the published copies, took the site down and everything about the book.

Ancient Morphers only gave few information about the The First Born. It is said in the site that Priam tried to erase everything about the book because some sort of group or organization has been chasing the author of the said book. Wanting to leave something behind, Priam authorized few more production of the book to be publish worldwide. But no one knew, where and who Priam is and if that is really their name.

Somehow, it seems that he wanted to vanished but wants to leave something behind. Luckily, Justin got her hands into book and now it is in my hands. But still, how can I know more if the information written on the internet is limited to this? I could easily email or contact Priam but, there is no actual person to emailed to. So how?

I stopped myself from thinking too much as I have a shift to catch and a library to crash. After fixing myself, I grab my things and the book and make my way to the cafe. Another hectic day for Austin.

---

"You look terrible Austin" Peter said after I took off the hat and the apron. My shift is done.

"Nah. I just didn't get my full sleep. Some cheeky bastard showed last night" I said remembering what happened last night. I exhaled at my own thought and lightly shakes my head to get rid of that.

"Oh.. Who's that? Are you okay?" he asked. His eyes were screaming of concern.

I smiled at him, "Of course I am!" I said, "Don't mind some unimportant person Peter" I added.

He laugh and pat my head, "Of course you are! I should be worrying for that cheeky bastard for you, have a bad temper and an ill-personality. Right!?" he said laughing on the top of his lungs.

"Hey!" I said punching him lightly, "I'm actually kind of nice, you know." I added rolling my eyes at him.

He gave me a shrug and continue blending the coffee. I fixes my things and myself. Peter gave the order to Oscar, another staff of the cafe before he turn to face me.

"Alright, miss actually-kind-of-nice, off you go!" Peter said and push me out of the counter.

I looked at him waving my hands, "Alright, I'll go!" I said.

"Don't forget to take some meds!" Peter shouted when I opened the door of the cafe.

Peter really acts like a parent sometimes. Well, I really don't know since I actually never experience that feeling. Being taken care of by parents. Tsk, but he is really nice both to me and to Justin. Him and his husband actually lost their daughter last year. Maybe that's why he's specially nice to me this year. Well, I hope its really out of concern and not out of pity, I'd really cut ties with him if that's the case.

Anyway, I texted Justin a while ago and told her that I'm on my way to the library and I won't go inside Crescent Moon, not until she call me to tell me that she is indeed inside the library. One embarassment is enough for me this year. I can't really take it if something similar to yesterday would happen again today. Not anymore.

After a few minutes, my phone rang, it is Justin.

"Hello? Where are you?" I said after pressing the answer button

"On my way there! So move your ass now and go there. I don't want to wait!" she said and end the call.

I walked my way inside the university. Still, it is beautiful. Crescent Moon is located at the center of the town and many, dreams to study here not just for the quality of education it offers, but also for it's unbeatable beauty both in the day and especially in the night.

If only I have the time and the money, I would want to study astronomy and history here.

But... I chuckled and slap myself a little, "Wake up Austin! School is not for you and you don't have the leisure to enjoy this kind of things" I muttered to myself.

Justin is right. Austin is Austin. 

No matter what I do, I will still be the same Austin who runaway almost five years ago. Nothing really changed.

When I decided that I could live on my own, that's the moment I threw away all signs of leisure, not that I have that kind of thing to begin with. It's not hard to live alone, but living without another purpose aside from my hobbies, it's not easy.

I was nearly 10 years old when someone from the old house asked me what would I do in the future. I remember telling the people of where I grew up that one day, I would be studying in an amazing university, would find my parents, and would achieve all of my dreams.

"Austin, what would you do in the future?" Grandma Ophelia said brushing my hair. She's the only one in the house that give an eye to someone like me.

I turn around and face her, "Of course! I would go to an amazingly amazing university!" I shouted.

People inside the house turn their heads to look at where we are, putting their noses in other people's business. I really hate it even at a young age.

"And then?" Grandma Ophelia asked again.

"And then, I would definitely find my parents! I would tell them that I am a good girl and that I grew up being good!" I answered cheerfully and smiled widely to her.

She looked at me with a hint of sadness plastered on her eyes. But she immediately smiled back at me and caress the top of head.

"I really wish for that, Austin" she said and hugged me.

But ten years passed, nothing is achieved. No one studied in an amazingly amazing university and parents were not found. I'm still the nothing and useless child with nothing to give that they were just forced to take in. What a life you have there Austin!

Before I drown myself to my thoughts, a hand grab me from behind.

"Austin! Look where you're going!" Justin shouted at my face pointing a tree in front.

Looks like I have been thinking too much today and it's not like me. I smiled at her, gave my thanks and together, we entered the library.

"How's the book?" Justin suddenly said. We are sitting across each other. I looked at her

"Hmm. I-its good" I said smiling nervously at her. I really hope she didn't check the book before giving it to me.

Justin looked at me squinting her eyes. She put her hands under her chin and stare at me more.

"Di-did you che-check the book?" I asked her with my finger crossed under the table.

"Me? Why would I? Tsk. You know I don't like that kind of thing" she said and clicked her tongue at me and continue reading her book.

I curled my hands under the table into a fist and internally cheered for what Justin said. The universe is on my side today.

"Ah-ahh. Of course, why would you?" I said scratching the back of my head.

"Hmm.. Shaun told me he came to see you" Justin said, her eyes are locked on her book.

My eyes widen. He told her!?

I really can't trust that man. I peak at Justin, she's still looking at her book but I know she's waiting for my reaction. She's waiting for an answer. I closed the book infront of me and face her properly.

"Ye-yeah. He just ca-came to say so-sorry" I said unable to control my mouth from stuttering.

"You're stuttering Austin." she said and suddenly looked at me.

She closed her book, "Really.. What happened?" she said.

I exhaled. There's no point in lying.. But, do I have to tell her everything? I took a deep breath before I face her properly.

"Nothing happened. He came, he apologize, that's it" I said crossing my arms.

Justin seems not convince with that kind of answer but she knows nothing will come out even if she juices me right here, right now. She sighed, "Alright. Anyway, I have to go. Do you want to stay here or you want out?" she said.

I quickly gave her the book, "Nah, I'm good. I want out of this university the soonest you leave" I said chuckling.

She laughed at me and hand me something, "Take this after you eat your lunch. I guess we can't eat lunch together again today" she said.

I looked at what she handed me, medicine. I smiled at her and put the medicine inside of the pocket. "Yeah. We can't eat together anymore inside of this university." I said and laughed, "I'll just see you at the diners?" I added.

"Oh.. Another thing, I can't tonight, got some papers to finish. I'll just call you tonight" she said looking so guilty.

I tap at her shoulder, standing up, "It's okay. Thanks for the meds, I'll go" I said standing up.

Justin wave at me before putting back the books we borrowed. I waved back at her and quickly, I leave the library.

"Guess, it'll be just with myself today" I said and take my way out of the Crescent Moon.

The weather's fine, so as my day today. I just wish every single day is like today.

Hiding behind a tree, someone is quietly watching Austin from a far. Without any clue on what is happening, Austin continues on walking. The person behind that tree suddenly smiled, "He really took a liking on you. I guess I need to keep an eye on you... Austin" the person said and immediately turn the other way.