Chapter 22

Mia

Josefina must have seen the concern in my expression. She twisted until she was sitting with her bare feet in the pool water and looking in my direction. “They left before I was out of the cabin. Jorge told me that something happened last night, and they were both needed on the mainland.”

My empty stomach twisted.

She feigned a smile. “Did you bring a bathing suit? If not, I’m sure I have one that could fit you.”

“I did.” I looked around. The ocean went on in every direction for as far as I could see. “Is Patrόn concerned?” I hoped using the term I’d heard Catalina use was acceptable. “Is he with them?”

“He’s not alarmed.” She stood and walked to me until she was out of the pool and on dry travertine. “What my sons do is not safe, but they’re very good. Jano will come back to you.”

“He didn’t tell me he was leaving.”

“Well,” she said matter-of-factly, “that is something he needs to be told, by you.”

I swallowed. “I’m just feeling sorry for myself.” I scanned beyond the deck into the blue waters. “And that’s probably the most ridiculous thing in the world. I mean, look where we are.”

“México,” she said with a smile. “It’s always beautiful.”

The woman from earlier arrived with a tray. A silver coffee carafe, a silver pitcher of cream, and a cup were placed on a nearby table, shaded by an umbrella. “Gracias,” I said.

“If you need anything else…”

Josefina spoke. “I’m about to have my midday meal. You should eat, Mia. Would you like lunch or breakfast?”

I didn’t want to be any trouble. “I’ll have whatever you’re having.” 

She spoke to the woman. While her words were coming fast, I thought I picked up on ceviche. Josefina stopped and turned to me. “Any allergies? Shellfish?”

“No.” I shook my head and went to the table where my freshly poured cup of coffee sat.

Aléjandro’s mother reiterated what she’d said to the woman. The lady in white nodded affirmatively and walked away, leaving us alone.

“Do you have sunscreen?” Josefina asked. “I hate to mention it, but with your fair complexion, I don’t want you to burn.”

That made me smile. “I didn’t think to bring any.”

“I’ll have the staff take some to your suite. After your coffee, you can go change into a bathing suit and be sure to apply sunscreen. I don’t want Jano upset because his new wife is too burned to be touched. Oh, and on the first level I have a small office, much smaller than Jorge’s. The bookshelves are filled with books. If you’d like to borrow one, help yourself.” Before I could question, she added, “There are some in English.”

“That’s good. I’m better at speaking Spanish than reading it, and I can’t speak it.”

“I’d be glad to help you.”

“Gracias.”

“Buen comienzo.”

By the time I finished my coffee, found Josefina’s office, selected a book, changed into a bathing suit, applied my sunscreen, and made my way back to the pool deck, our food was waiting along with a pitcher of hibiscus agua fresca.

Josefina pulled a second hat from a bag near her feet. “I went and got this for you. The sun can be harsh. We must protect your beautiful skin.”

“Thank you.” I took the hat and placed it on my head. “You look too young to be a mother of grown men, but you do the mothering thing well. I guess I miss mine. After Rocco, my first husband, died, my brother didn’t want me to live on my own. He sent me to live with my mother. Since my father passed at the same time, we were in mourning together.”

“Oh, lo lamento.” She shook her head. “That must have been hard.”

“It wasn’t. When you’re young, you think you know so much more than your parents. I didn’t want to live with her, but after a while, it was…comfortable. I think as adults we were able to be friends.”

Josefina smiled. “Her home is beautiful. We were there for Catalina’s wedding.”

I nodded.

“You’ve been through so much.”

“It’s been a whirlwind.” I took in the stunning views. “And that whirlwind is still swirling.”

For a while, we ate in silence. Perhaps my filter was broken, but when a question popped into my head, I asked it. “Did you have a choice to marry el Patrόn?”

“Everyone should have a choice of whom they marry.”

I didn’t respond.

“Mi padre believed in Jorge. He was honored when Jorge asked for me.”

“Were you honored?”

“Sí, he was the most eligible bachelor. And he wanted me.” Her smile faded. “You weren’t honored?”

This conversation had the potential to end badly. I chose my words carefully. “Dario believes in Aléjandro. Catalina too. She spoke about Aléjandro’s position—second to el Patrόn—as a place of honor within the cartel. And now, I can’t believe I’m here on this yacht. I wasn’t not honored.” I tried to make sense of my twisted batch of emotions. “I just didn’t think I’d have to remarry this soon. I’ve been married since I was eighteen. I guess I was hoping to live first.”

“What does that mean…to live? Can you not live and be a wife?”

“I don’t know,” I replied honestly. “Not with Rocco.”

“Mia, that man is dead. I’m not insensitive.” She sat taller. “Tell me, was he a good husband?”

I picked at the food on my plate.

“I’ll take that as a no,” Josefina said. “If after ten years, he didn’t earn a place in your heart, then after his death he doesn’t deserve a place in your thoughts.”

There weren’t words to say—at least none that I could think of uttering. The truth was I’d thought more about Rocco in the past week than the first five months after his death. I was running every thought through my old Rocco meter.

Would he approve?

Would he be angry?

Would he react?

Was it better not to tell him?

Would he accuse me of deceiving him if he found out?

The questions went on and on.

“It has only been a short time,” she said, “and please, I’m not trying to…” —she pressed her lips together— “fish. I’m not trying to fish for intimate details. Just tell me, if your only two choices are good or bad, how is my Jano doing?”

Warmth filled my cheeks as I peered across the table. “Good.”

She sat back with a satisfied expression. “I always believed he would be. To be honest, he needed to grow up. How old was this rock when you were eighteen?”

Rock. Rocco.

I smiled.

“Only a little older than I was, twenty.”

“I don’t think Jano was ready to marry that young. I was only seventeen when Jorge and I wed. I had no idea how to be a wife. Now you and Jano are older and wiser. That’s why I know the two of you will be happy.” She scoffed. “Throw that rock overboard. Let him sink to the bottom of the ocean.”

‘You’re not him.’

Josefina continued, “I can’t imagine your situation, but think of it in reverse. Would you like Jano to compare you to other women he’s known before?”

Beneath my sunglasses, my eyes prickled.

Other women.

Younger.

Thinner.

Virgins.

I knew my answer. “No.”

“Doesn’t he deserve the same?”

“Has he said anything to you…about me?”

She shook her head. “I watch and listen. I’m older and wiser than I look.”

“You are. Gracias. I’ll try to do better.”

“No. I never said you weren’t doing your best. And that is all Jano can ask.”

“You love Jorge?” I asked, using his name for the first time with her.

“Sí, with all my heart. It took time. Thankfully, that is what we all have.”

During the next three to four hours, we alternated between talking and reading. Somewhere during that time, I found a new peace with my marriage. I even felt a bit sad for Catalina. None of the women in the famiglia did what Josefina was doing, not even my mother. I should have reached out to her and worked to make her feel wanted. It was a mistake on my part that I would try to rectify in the future.

While it occurred to me to ask what, if anything, Josefina knew about Liliana and Gerardo Ruiz, I was still finding my own way. As much as I wanted to help the young girl, I knew I needed to be on solid ground before I could be of any assistance to her.

The time was around four-thirty when Jorge made an appearance on the pool deck. I had a sudden flashback of the first time I saw him at my mother’s pool. I quickly reached for my cover-up.