Chapter 21

Mia

I spun in Aléjandro’s grasp.

“I wouldn’t do that.”

“Sometimes women feel it’s their only option. You know—until death do us part.”

I shook my head. “I couldn’t do that to my mother. She lost my father, not her daughter too.” But she had lost me, lost me to the cartel.

Aléjandro took the tumbler from my grasp and stepped back. I scanned his bare chest. As I dared to look down, I found that he was wearing pajama pants. Lifting the tumbler to his lips, he drained the contents and set the empty glass on the table. Then, once again, he wrapped his solid arms around me, resting his hands on my lower back. His dark stare settled on mine. While I couldn’t read what he was thinking, I believed my emotions and thoughts were on full display.

He wiped a tear with his thumb. “That’s good to hear. Don’t jump.”

Why isn’t he angry?

I dropped my forehead to his wide chest. “I’m sorry.”

He lifted his embrace to the middle of my back, pulling me closer to him. Keeping my arms against my chest, I settled into his warm and fresh-scented bubble. It was at that moment when I realized the erection I’d felt earlier was no longer an issue.

He must have masturbated in the shower—again.

I was a failure as a wife.

I lifted my gaze. “I’m sorry,” I repeated.

“I’m not good at this.”

My lips twitched. “Define this because earlier you were very good.”

“I think you can take not-coming-with-oral off your list.”

“I didn’t hate it.”

Aléjandro’s laughter filled the air and floated out to sea. “That was obvious.”

“I didn’t mean to…” To what? “…freeze. I wish I could be different for you.”

“Be you, Mia. What I’m not good at is this—talking isn’t my forte. Actions are where I excel. I’ll probably say it wrong.”

“Say what?”

“Be you,” he repeated. “Be the you who slapped me in the hallway and the you who told me you didn’t want this marriage. That’s who I married. And I fucking signed up for you. If I have to wade through some shitty, scum-laden waters to get to that self-assured firecracker, then I’ll put on my boots and do that because I know you’ll be worth it.”

Swallowing became more difficult. I sniffled. He was better at talking than he gave himself credit for. Yet, I still had questions. “Why aren’t you…? I expected you to be upset.”

His eyes narrowed. “Should I be? Did you purposely set out to anger me?”

“No.” My neck straightened. “I didn’t…I was…it was…I’ve never come twice in one night before. We were kissing and I liked that.” I exhaled. “But then your erection…when I felt it…I froze. Then I couldn’t take my reaction back, and I thought you were mad.”

“I told you it wouldn’t bite.”

Sighing, I let my head drop to his chest. “I feel like I need to keep apologizing.”

“That fucking asshole should apologize for what he did to you. I won’t, but I’ll hold you, touch you” —he ran his hands up and down my back— “and stay with you until you forget everything about him.”

“I panicked. I was so afraid.”

“Of me?”

I nodded against his warm skin.

Aléjandro shook his head. “I don’t hurt women, Mia.” I looked up, seeing his growing smile. “Mi mamá would never forgive me.”

“I like her.”

“That’s good. She likes you.” He inhaled. “When you froze, I knew I’d fucked up.”

“No. It wasn’t you.”

“I’m not him.”

“You’re not him,” I repeated.

He reached for my hand. “Let’s get some sleep.”

I let Aléjandro lead me inside the suite. Once we were within, he closed the glass doors to the balcony and hit a switch that turned the panes opaque.

“What was that?” I asked.

“Magic. It will keep the sun out in the morning.”

Aléjandro came closer and tugged on the sash of my robe. “By the way,” he said with a less seriousness to his timbre. “If anyone has ever complained about eating your pussy, they don’t deserve to be in your thoughts. It’s perfection.”

My cheeks rose. “Are you a connoisseur?”

“Maybe in the past. Now, I’m a satisfied customer. There’s never been one that tasted as sweet and fu-ck” —the word was elongated— “the sounds you were making.” He grinned. “I better stop, or I’ll need to take another shower.”

Once we were both in bed and under the blankets, Aléjandro wrapped his arm around me and tugged me to his solid shoulder. His chest reverberated with his words. “I’m going to get mad. Someday.” He lifted my chin, bringing our gazes together. “When it happens—because it will—I want you to remember the sentence you keep repeating.”

“You’re not him.”

Aléjandro nodded. “Fucking cowards bully those without the strength or ability to fight back. I’m not a coward. I face fights without hesitation.”

I reached for his bandage. “Maybe a little less chasing Russians?”

“I won’t be the perfect husband, Mia. I know that. I know me and I’ll fuck up, but never fear me.”

Inhaling and exhaling, I let his words sink in. “Your mom said tonight that all marriages are unique. I know I said I didn’t want this marriage.”

“You’ve changed your mind?”

I shrugged. “Jury is still out, but I’m at least seeing that what we have going on isn’t the same as what I had before.”

“It’s a good start,” he said.

Laying my arm over his trim torso, I settled back on the hard pillow of his shoulder, closed my eyes, and listened to the sounds of his breaths and the rhythm of his heart beating. When I woke from a dreamless sleep, I was alone. With the window magic, I couldn’t get a grasp on the time of day. It was the clock that let me know that I’d slept until after eleven.

That same clock said noon before I was showered and dressed and ready to meet the others on the yacht. The sunshine warmed my skin as I made my way outside and back up a level. When I entered the living room and dining area, a woman in white appeared.

“Señora Roríguez, may I get you anything to eat or drink?”

“I know it’s past noon, but coffee would be wonderful. With cream.”

“Sí.”

I scanned the large open room and farther out to the helipad and the ocean beyond. “Do you know where my husband is?”

“No, señora. Señora Roríguez is at the pool. Maybe she knows.”

“Could you please bring the coffee to the pool?”

“Sí,” she responded with a nod and a smile.

Pool.

I tried to recall. I’d seen it from the helicopter last night. Going out toward the helipad, I found a staircase leading to the deck above. That brought me to the outdoor seating where Josefina and I sat last night. Climbing one more set of stairs, I found myself on the pool deck. Josefina was wearing a bathing suit and lying on a lounge chair in the water, looking more like Aléjandro’s sister than mother.

“Good afternoon,” I greeted.

Beneath a large floppy hat, she lifted her sunglasses, and smiled. “I’m glad you were able to rest.”

Aléjandro’s words about not letting me sleep until I was too wrung out to dream came back to me. “I slept very well. Do you know where I could find my husband?”

“He and Rei left early this morning.”

“He left the yacht?”