TESSA
“I think you’re making a mistake.” My best friend Lilah states while nervously twisting her dark brown hair around her finger.I stare at her in disbelief. A mistake. Really? It’s been years. He’s had plenty of chances to make this relationship official. If he was serious about me, if he really cared, surely he would have done something about it by now. But that is the thing about Tyler. He's as carefree and laid back as they come. It’s one of his best qualities and his worst. He doesn’t take anything seriously, except his music and his band mates. I take that back. He takes his Groupies pretty seriously too. Sure looked like he was serious about that half naked blonde gyrating on his lap last night. My stomach lurches and my blue eyes roll reflexively just thinking about it.“Tessa, can you hear me? I think that somethings wrong with the connection.” I look back at the small screen to see Delilah poking around on her laptop trying to fix the call and realize it’s probably because I still haven’t responded. “Tess can you hear me now?”Yeah, I hear you. “Yup.” I reply. I just have zero fucks left to give. I glance around the terminal and find a spot to sit where I can people watch while I wait for my flight.“Come back. You’re my best friend and the best tour manager around. I can’t do this without you. I’ll be so outnumbered with all these boys. I miss you already.” And this is why I didn’t leave years ago. We're a team. Sisters. Best friends since preschool. Joining the tour as their tour manager and traveling the world with my best friends has been epic and life changing, but all good things come to an end.“You know I'll miss you too. I just need some time away. I can’t be around him anymore. It hurts too much.” I bite the inside of my cheek to keep from crying. “Did you see the London Times this morning? He’s on the front page Delilah. AGAIN! Where’d he even find that girl? How’d he even have time? He was literally with me half an hour before these were taken. How does he even have the stamina?” Seriously. He was plenty satisfied when I left him and still managed to land himself on the cover of a magazine with some random girl plastered to him like an octopus.Her face falls and I know she saw exactly what I’m talking about. “Maybe it's not what it looks like. We both know how deceiving tabloids can be.” She’s obviously referring to the chaos tabloids caused in her love life a few years ago, but that was different. Liam fought for her. Tyler will barely commit to lunch with me. I thought by now he’d want to at least be my boyfriend. Dancing around the whole friends with benefits situation we’ve had going on since we were 16 is killing me slowly. Every time I see him with another girl I’m tore up with jealousy. It’s exhausting and constantly leave me feeling like I’m not enough.“I need a break. From all of it.” I have a plan and it involves being very, very far away from him. I’ll head to the city and start over where no one knows me. I’m so tired of waiting for him to figure out what he wants. Rockstar or not. We’re not 16 years old anymore. It's time to grow up. Who knows maybe my leaving will finally make him realize what we could have if he wasn’t such a giant asshat.I have plenty of money saved from touring with Delilah and the guys for the past three years. Three years of my life spent waiting for Tyler to tell me how he really feels. Three years of pretending that being friends with benefits was enough. If he hasn’t figured it out by now, I’m not sure he’s ever going to. Or maybe he has figured it out and I’m just not good enough. That would explain the revolving door of groupies every single night. Maybe he’s been sending me a subtle message with each new hookup that he just doesn’t see us going anywhere.Delilah clears her throat and wipes beneath her eyes. “I really am going to miss you like crazy.”“I know. I’ll call you all the time. You’ll barely know I’m gone. I need to do this for myself though. I can’t get over him if I have to see his stupid handsome face every single day.” Not that I won’t still see it plastered all over the news and billboards and magazines. Ugh. Remind me to never date someone famous ever again.“He’s going to lose his shit when he realizes that you’ve left.” She purses her lips and nods her head matter of factly, barely stifling a chuckle. "I hope I'm there to see it."“I doubt that. He’d have to take his head out of his ass first.” I laugh to myself at that image. “I bet he doesn’t even realize I’m gone until he can’t find his lucky sticks for tomorrow’s show.”She gasps. “Tell me you didn’t hide them. You’re so bad. He’s going to flip.”I laugh. “Well, when he freaks out, they are in the bottom zipper compartment of his black backpack on the bus.”She chuckles to herself. “I’ll be sure to let him know after I catch his meltdown on video for you. I have to go. Love you!”“You too.” I click off the screen and decide to check out the tabloids while I’m waiting for my connecting flight. I'm sure I won't like what I see, but I can't help myself. Clearly I'm a glutton for punishment. I’ve already been gone for 8 hours and I haven’t heard a word from him yet. If the tabloid covers are true he’s probably just waking up with his latest conquest. Sure enough, he's on the cover with some red head sucking his face. Does he have no shame? Now that I think about it, maybe I should block his number just in case. I haven’t decided. If he actually cared he’d surely have realized by now that I’m gone. There’s not a single message from him since I left.I click on his contact and hit the block button. It's time to get my priorities straight. It seems he already has his, and it's painfully obvious that I'm not one of them.Tyler My head is pounding and my tongue is as dry as the desert in midafternoon. The moment I woke up I knew I should just go back to bed. I’m not sure what exactly is going on, but something seems really off today. I have this weird feeling that somethings not right that I can’t place and I can’t shake it no matter what I try. The air feels different. Something in my soul feels empty and I’m really not sure why. Maybe I’m just imagining it or maybe it’s this awful hangover that I’m still nursing. I've been sitting on this couch for hours and I haven't heard from any of my friends when Liam strolls onto the tour bus shutting the door behind him. “Hey man.” Liam grabs a bottle of water from the mini fridge and plops down onto the couch next to me. The bus is unusually quiet. He's the first person I've seen all day. “Where is everybody?” I want to ask him where a certain feisty blonde is specifically, but I don’t want him to start his speech again about 'true love' and 'end game' and
Tessa My new flat is right in the heart of London next to the bar where we once went with Taylor to karaoke. I was lucky enough to pick up a job bartending there to pass the time until I figure out what I really want to do. It’s easier to keep my mind off of him if I stay busy. It’s been ten months. I haven’t heard from him since I left the tour. Not that I’d know if he tried to contact me. I decided a clean break would be best and I blocked his number. At least this way when he didn’t call I wouldn’t be disappointed.Heartbroken doesn’t even begin to cover it. I thought he was my soul mate. The one. I still miss him everyday. It’s like a piece of me is gone. I’ve had to relearn how to be alone with myself. I’ve kept in touch with Dels of course. I’ve even talked to the other guys, but they all know not to call me if he’s around or talk about him with me. He’s off limits. As far as I can tell he hasn’t given me a second thought.It’s finally Spring in London and the flowering trees a
TYLERI duck behind the sofa just as I hear Delilah asking loudly if anyone has seen her phone. It was just sitting on the table earlier, all lonely and unguarded, and I had an idea. I had to try. I couldn’t help myself. It’s almost been a year. I miss her and I’ve never wasted time missing any girl before.Tess sounded so happy on the phone. She couldn’t stop talking. My ball of sunshine, until she realized it was me calling her instead of Delilah. Then she couldn’t get off the phone fast enough. She can’t still be angry with me after all this time, can she? I mean we were never even official. Technically I did nothing wrong. What’s the big deal if I hang out with groupies? It wasn’t cheating. We were friends with benefits. We never discussed specifics. There were no rules that I was aware of.She knows how I feel about labels. I’ve never had an actual “girlfriend.” Don’t misunderstand me, I’ve had plenty of girls. Just none that I’ve asked to be mine. The only one to ever get that
TESSA It’s been a week since the incident. That’s what I’m now referring to his call as. Sneaky bastard. I still debate whether I should have talked to him instead of hanging up. At least then I wouldn’t be stuck here wondering why he was calling me in the first place. Does he miss me? Did he realize his mistake? Was he going to confess his undying love? Not likely, but a girl can dream. I’m walking through the park pondering my life choices when suddenly I find myself flying through the air and landing firmly on my butt. I’m looking up at fluffy clouds in a beautiful blue sky and praying no one saw me slip. “Holy shit, are you okay?” A deep voice asks before his face comes into my frame of vision. I blink several times hoping he will disappear and leave me to be embarrassed by my lonesome, but as usual my luck is nonexistent. He reaches down to help me up and I know my cheeks must be bright red. He frowns, concern showing in his eyes. “Are you alright? You really took a tumble t
TYLER “Has she mentioned me? Do you think she’s even noticed how good I’ve been? I’ve been turning down women left and right for weeks now.”Lilah rolls her eyes and takes a drink from her gigantic margarita. “Rome wasn’t built in a day. You have to prove to her that you’re a changed man. That she’s worth the effort.”“It would be much easier if Tess were here to chase them off for me. It’s hard work keeping the ladies away. Have you seen me?” I tease giving her my sexiest smolder.“Save that shit for when you see Tess.” Liam grunts as if Lilah could somehow succumb to my charms.“Seriously, has anyone heard from her? I know at least one of you has, so haveany of you put in a good word for me? Does she even know that I’m trying to do better? It’s kind of hard to show her that I’ve quit my man whoring ways when she still won’t talk to me.”Lilah laughs. “Well you’ll be happy to hear that she’s finally talking to me again after your little stunt. She's taking some classes at the Uni the
TESSAThere is a game on tonight and the pub I work at is packed full of patrons when Drew takes a seat at the bar in front of me and flashes a smile that makes my insides flutter. “Hey Beautiful, long time no see.” He couldn't be any hotter if he tried. It's pretty clear that he’s not really trying. The man just oozes sex appeal. Considering my history, you’d think I’d run like hell in the opposite direction, but something about him keeps drawing me in. I'd say it's his eyes, the most enchanting midnight blue, but it could just as well be how his dark brown hair sits perfectly tousled. And let's not forget about how his sculpted muscles hide behind his fitted clothes begging you to take a closer look.I slide a beer to the guy sitting one stool away and slip a napkin in front of Drew. “Hey Drew. Do you want your usual?” I ask trying my best not to seem too excited to see him. Drew has been here every night that I’ve worked this week. If I didn’t know better I’d think he's keeping tra
TYLER "This is ridiculous. Where are all these paps even coming from?" I peek out the blinds of our tour bus and narrow my eyes at all of the paparazzi lined up outside waiting to get their pictures. "It's a bit extreme." Noah tssks, out of breath from scrambling to get back onto the bus without being mauled. He grabs a beer from the fridge and plops down onto a nearby couch."I've never seen this many in one place." Delilah nods in agreement as Liam pulls her onto his lap, wrapping his arms around her protectively. “I don’t think we could have seen this coming." Who would have thought that announcing I'd found the girl of my dreams would cause such an uproar. But I had to take the opportunity to show Tessa that I'm trying to be the kind of man that she deserves though. So I guess if a dozen paparazzi following me around is the consequence, I'll just have to deal with it."Maybe once they figure out who she is they'll calm down?" Liam offers as I shut the blinds tight and begin tossi
TESSA He walked me home, for the third time this week. By all accounts the night was perfect. Perfect weather, a gentle breeze twirls through my hair and for once the stars are out twinkling across the London sky. Not a rain cloud in sight. The night is straight out of a fairy tale. The handsome prince is walking his princess home and they'll live happily ever after. Everything is perfect, so perfect in fact that if I look hard enough I bet I could find the constellation Peter Pan used to find his way to Neverland. It’s all too perfect. I find myself waiting for the bottom to fall out. Is this how it would be if I were with him? His hand finds mine and he locks his fingers between my own. Just like he did last night and the night before. So I should be happy right? My mind shouldn't be wandering around Neverland wondering about that lost boy that got away. The one whose clear blue eyes still haunt my dreams. The very one who I picture even now, almost a year later every single time