CALUM
“Off?” Mum calls out behind me.I race to the gate, trying to outrun the image growing in my head. Our apartment is on the outskirts to discourage the paparazzi and crazy fans. The small black gate swings open. I walk straight to the kitchen and pour myself a glass of cold water. It helps.
Mum joins me. She drags a stool beside me, then proceeds to heat up some food. If she wasn’t living with me, I would be living with the boys. But I can’t ask her to leave and I can’t move out. She has given up enough.
“You were saying something,” she murmurs while sifting through her handbag on the marble counter. “Something is off? Calum?”
The microwave pings, saving me from her question. When she gets into detective mode, she won’t quit until she has answers.
Mum pulls out the Tupperware and dishes the spaghetti into smaller plates. I play with the food, roll it around my fork th
My eyes hurt from staring at my laptop, but I can’t look away from the graphs and charts on the screen. I’m trying to understand where we might have gone wrong to lose our biggest support. The dip in the month of December affected the ads, which in turn negatively impacted our revenue.Still, I can’t wrap my head around the fact Thomas backed out. I tap on a random key to keep the laptop’s screen alive. The other half of my screen contains a list of potential investors that might be interested in taking Thomas’s place. If that doesn’t work, we might be forced to take a short-term loan.Tears prick my eyes, and I force them back to their confines. Things were just starting to look up for us. Girls Code crossed fifty thousand downloads in five months. I place a hand on my belly, seeking comfort from Mace while I type away.In the silence of the house, the click clack of my keyboard echoes through the dining room. Ame
Sweat runs down my temples. My arms shake a few times in the process of setting up the dining room for the zoom meeting with the CFOs of Loan Dolphin. Due to the travel restrictions caused by the flood of last week, the meeting was rescheduled online.“How’s it going?” Dad calls out from the kitchen.I glance at my phone. “Fine. Thanks, Dad.”Amelia should be here soon. We are having the interview together. Dad is only here for moral support.An ache shoots through my abdomen, but it’s gone as soon as it comes. I sit and smoothen a hand over my belly. I didn’t mention that I was pregnant to them, maybe I should have to score some pity points.Dad’s feet slap the floorboard as he joins me in the dining. He drags his chair close to peek at my laptop. The email with the zoom invite is open on my screen. Dad rubs his shoulder against mine, his face becoming sombre. I can handle thi
CALUMI shaved, not because Mum asked. But because Yani touched my beards. No matter how much I brush my mouth, I still feel the imprint of her lips on mine. What was I thinking when I said yes to Mum? I don’t need a girlfriend. I don't care what the media says about my sexuality. They want music, and I’m giving them music. That is that. Or so I want to think but I can’t ignore the buzz generated since those pictures were uploaded. I didn’t even have to do it myself. The handler posted them after selecting the best five. I browse through the comment sections on my Instaagram page from my other account. Some of the comments are mean, some are neutral, and some wish me well. But one thing is common with all the comments, they believe the pictures. I close my eyes and my head falls back. Around me, footsteps echo in the corridor, with the faint smell of antiseptic acting as a constant reminder of my location and unresolved issues.
CALUMCathy.Her name is Catherine Jenkins.She’s the same person. The pink hair and the black hair. They are both her. Cathy. My Cathy. My first and only girlfriend.I slump down on the bed of the hotel I’m sleeping in tonight. My head still reels from the conversation with Tessa. It was a lot. It was too much. I toss my jacket on the bed, get off it, then start pacing the room. My thoughts swirl, creating a confusing mix.A phone rings. The familiar ringtone makes my hands clench into fists. Mum. I let the phone ring. Once. Twice. Thrice. The fifth time she calls, I wrench it from the bed and storm to the window. I pull the curtains open. It’s late but my eyes catch movement below. This is the city where people never sleep.“Cal,” Mum says. “Where are you?”“I’m not coming home tonight,” I tell her and end the call. She knew about Cathy.A
I jolt awake. Mace. I spring out of the bed and race to the connecting door to his room, only to rush back to my room to check his crib. One look at him and a rush of air escapes my lips. We moved his crib here because I have become obsessed with listening to his heartbeat. I have lost count of how often. But I do it as often as I breathe.Cradling him in my arms, I perch on the edge of the bed and watch my little one. His lips pucker, and he makes a cute sound only babies can make as he stretches his tiny arms. My baby. I sway from left to right to assure him he’s okay when his eyes open.Blues the same colour as his father’s stare up at me. He blinks and my heart does a flip. It doesn’t hurt to look into his blues but it hurts to have a physical reminder of my heartbreak. It’s kind of fucked up. He left with my heart but Mace is piecing me back.“Mama. Mama is here,” I mutter when Mace continues staring.A
I wake up feeling different, almost brand new. My hand shoots out to the side to reach Mace but someone brings it back down. I peel one eye open, then the other. Amelia sticks out her tongue, her fingers stretching the corners of her lips to form a toothy smile. She is a clown and I love her.“He’s awake. He’s fine,” she says. My body relaxes at those words. I’m not sure when she got into bed with me but I push closer to her for a brief hug. I like to think of her as the sister I never had but she’s more than that. “I even listened to his heartbeat.”My fingertip traces circles on the tip of her nose. Amelia giggles and swats my hand. “Okay, I believe you.”“Thank you, Mama Mace.”“Mama Mace?” I reply. I stretch out my arms and a yawn escapes me. My head falls to the pillow. I squint at the window behind my bed. The curtains are drawn, making it harder to
Mace will not stop crying. I hold up his maraca, shake it to calm the little man but he flails his arms and lets out another ear-splitting scream. I try to rock him but it doesn’t work. Frustrated, I exit the room with the crying boy in my arms. Soft music booms from Amelia’s speakers. I stomp all the way to the living room where she’s seated on the floor while working on her laptop. I clear my throat, she takes one look at me and her godson, then the music goes off. “What happened?” she asks. Trying to pry Mace off me is futile. He won’t stop crying and he won’t let anyone carry him. I sit on the couch and she follows suit. “Cathy? What happened?” she asks. “I don’t know.” Mace stops crying long enough to catch his breath. Tears coat his lower lashes, he blinks and my heart breaks. “Mama doesn’t like it when you cry, Macey. Please, don’t cry. Stop crying, okay?” Amelia squats in front of the
It’s Mace’s fault. If he didn’t distract me, I would have had time to check my wallet. I wouldn’t be stuck here with no idea what to do. How could I forget to check my wallet?My feet rap against the concrete surface, cars zoom past me with not as much as a glance at the girl standing on the sidewalk.A blue car slows from the distance. I step back, seeking refuge from the walls of the bus stop.The car slows beside me. The driver rolls down his window and I pray for the ground to open up and swallow me. Why him?Jason leans forward, his smug smile as vivid as his blue eyes. “Need a ride, Cathy?”“Maybe,” I reply. Jason laughs. My insides burn. I’m mortified but grateful to see him. He helps me with the bags, dumps them in the backseat and we climb into the front seats. “What if you are some sort of killer?”He drums his index fingers on the