Awkward is not enough to describe the days that follow after that ‘mistake’. Three days later and Calum is still leaving for school earlier than he usually does. At home, our conversations are a lull; polite and tentative. During rehearsals, he hardly glances my way and it’s infuriating.
The past days have been a rinse and repeat for me. Since Amelia is out of her slump, she’s back to being my driver. Whatever happened in her room stays between us. After practice, I would hitch a ride with Rose and listen to her repeat the same question: Is everything okay with your stepbro? He didn’t say a word to you during rehearsal.
And I would roll my eyes and say yes.
For now, I need to focus on my chemistry class. On what Mr Andy is saying. I haven’t been able to pay attention since he walked in with a pile of sheets. Last week, we had a quiz. There was not enough time for me to prepare but I think I might come close t
CALUMI’m fucked. Royally fucked.Cathy kissed me and I wanted to kiss her back. No, I wanted to pin her under me to claim her, kiss her so she would never kiss that boy again. I would have if she didn’t pull back so fast. Days go by and I haven’t stopped hating myself for almost losing control. It’s wrong. I’m her stepbrother, her teacher, I could get into trouble with the law, her father.The age of consent is sixteen, Cathy didn’t lie about that bit. But the American in me feels it’s wrong. She’s young. Cathy can never be mine but I have gone to bed with a boner every night since it happened. My dreams are haunted by her. In my dreams, Cathy is more demanding. We go beyond kissing and I wake up the next morning feeling like a piece of shit. It’s why I have avoided her, spoken as little as possible.But all of that ended when the sly minx showed up after rehearsal. Her friend didn&rsq
Calum wants me. A man doesn’t look at a lady he doesn’t want naked under him the way my stepbrother is staring at me right now. Since I walked into his room, he has been staring. But he doesn’t act on his desires, neither do I. After the near-kiss incident, I’ll only follow his lead.His tongue wets his bottom lip and my resolve weakens. Telling myself to behave is one thing, doing it is another thing. With Calum in that tank top, it’s increasingly harder to keep my hands to myself. My back digs into the door as I scan the room for any form of distraction. None.“You wanted to see me,” I say at last.Calum jerks out of his daydream. “Yeah.” As he says this, he takes another step closer to me. I lick my lips. My heart is doing high jumps. He is too near. So close. “You’re off probation.”“That’s it?” comes out of me in a squeaky voice. I clear my throat. “
Keep your foot on the brake but don’t step too hard on it. That’s my second lesson for the day. I nod to Calum’s next instruction. He is not a bad tutor but my dirty mind is playing a driving kink.“Relax, Cathy,” Calum says with a smile in his voice. I ease my grip on the steering wheel, well aware my stiffness is from my thoughts. “Alright.”One look around and I nod. I can do this. We start from our driveway. I drive to one end of the street at a snail’s speed. All Calum does is egg me on with a grin, not once complaining of my slowness. Dad would have mentioned it at least twice. I park at the other end of the cul-de-sac and he claps. His expression is a mix of pride, care and admiration.Something has changed between us. Something that can’t be put into words. I release my seatbelt and sit cross legged on my chair. Calum leans on the door with his elbow jutting out of the window.“Do y
It’s today.I feel it before I wake up. I feel it as I sluggishly get out of bed and dress up for school. A chill eats at my bones, spreading through my veins. I shiver.The windows are closed but I feel cold. It’s not cold from the weather but a reminder of today’s date. I glare at the zombie with sunken eyes and pink hair in the mirror. She looks like me. It was a struggle to sleep last night. To act fine. I don’t feel like doing anything. I just want to curl in bed and cry but I can’t skip school because Dad will know.Our class group is active with birthday wishes to me. I ignore all of them, opening the door at the same time Calum steps out of his room. We bump into each other and he sends me a small smile.“Hi,” is what I say in a voice so cold he takes a step back. He recovers faster than I expected. A finger curls under my jaw, drawing my gaze to his face. He’s worried and I want to
“You missed practice,” Calum states.The ice-cream and chips are on the nightstand. I’m so tempted to reach across and stuff my face in the ice-cream so I never have to talk but I remain frozen. Calum’s figure casts a shadow on my bed. Standing by my side with a stern frown, he almost looks intimidating. I tilt my head to meet his gaze and my lips purse. In the end, I simply nod.“Why?” he asks.Sitting up, I fold my legs under me and smoothen the creases on my bed. “Will you please sit?”“Will you please tell me what’s wrong?” he counters.Not yet. Resting my head on my shoulder in an awkward angle, I’m unable to meet his gaze when I whisper, “I want a kiss from you first.”“Cathy.”His emotions are bare for me to see. He wants to kiss me too but I’m too young. Well, Calum is wrong. I’m not y
Kissing a man is different from kissing boys. To be more specific, kissing Calum is different. It is a piece of heaven. A breath of fresh air after being underwater in the bathtub for too long.I’m thinking of our kiss as I get out of bed this morning. I’m thinking of it as I brush my hair in front of the mirror. I’m thinking of it as I reply to all the chats from last night. I’m still thinking of it as I hear the sound of his door opening. He’s ready.My door opens before he knocks. My gaze is on his heavenly lips. I step aside and he walks in. It’s less than a hair’s breadth between us, causing the hairs on my skin to stand. I need another kiss. Once our eyes meet, I know he’s also thinking about the kiss.“Can I kiss you?” I ask because I know he won’t.It’s evident in his eyes that Calum wants this too but he replies, “That was a birthday gift.”
I can’t stop smiling. I don’t think I’ll ever stop. I smile throughout all my classes. On my way to the cafeteria, someone crashes into me. She lets out a string of apologies and the only thing I can do is smile, joining her to pick up her textbooks.The girls are already at our table when I enter the cafeteria. We have an addition today. Lucien. I stifle a groan when Taylor kisses him. Sadly, she is officially off the single girls club. I scan the hall for Jackson. If Lucien is eating here, then Jackson should be around the corner, probably waiting for an invitation he wouldn’t be getting anytime soon.On cue, Jackson waves at me from his table. I wave back. He motions for me to join them but I point at our table a few inches away. I quicken my pace when he jumps out of his seat. That boy doesn’t get the hint.“Cathy, wait up!”The cafeteria falls quiet and unwanted eyes turn in my direction. Yeah, Ja
Calum doesn’t come for practice. Mr Prescott is a good choirmaster but I want Calum. I need him. In his absence, we do things differently today. Mr Prescott merges the three of us—me, Regina and Christie with the rest of the choir.I’m half-singing my lungs out. By the end of practice, I’m ready to bolt out of here and find him. But I need a ride. With Rose close on my heels, we start for her car. There’s a text from him waiting on my phone. He better have a good explanation.Rose drives out of the parking lot. I unlock my phone and put on the radio to discourage her from striking up a conversation. Calum’s text is from an hour ago. He knew he wouldn’t be here for practice, so why didn’t he say that earlier?C: Sweetheart, you’re going home with Rose today.A smile fights its way to my lips. Fuck him and his text. He can’t bribe me with sweet names.Me: Why? Where are you