Chapter 005

TAMSIN

"James..." My voice came out weak. Shaking. "Please. Help me. My baby..."

"Tammy, please." His voice was strained. "After everything today, I can't... I need you to stop."

"My baby..." Tears streamed down my face. I was bent over the bed, and I could feel the wetness spreading. I knew what it meant. "Don't let me lose my baby. Please. Take me to the hospital."

My vision started to blur at the edges. Everything going soft and distant.

I turned my head slightly. James stood near the door, his face a mask of conflict. Pain and doubt warring in his eyes.

He took a step toward me.

Then Isla made a sound. A horrible, choking gasp.

I couldn't see her from my position, but I heard the thud as she hit the floor.

"Isla!" James's voice went sharp with panic.

Through my darkening vision, I saw him drop to his knees beside her. Saw her body jerking. Convulsing.

A seizure.

His face went white. "Oh God. Isla. Isla, stay with me."

He scooped her into his arms. Her head lolled back, body still twitching.

He looked back at me, and for one second, our eyes met.

I saw the torment there.

"I'll come back for you," he said, voice breaking. "I promise. I have to get her to the hospital. I'll come back."

While he was running with Isla's limp body in his arms, her head turned and for a brief second, she opened her eyes and stared at me, as her lips curved into a smile.

Then he was gone.

I tried to call after him, tried to tell him about the blood, but my voice wouldn't work anymore.

I was alone.

The cramping got worse. A sharp, tearing pain that made breathing impossible.

I looked down. Blood pooled on the floor beneath me. Dark. Too much.

My baby.

I tried to move. Tried to reach for something, anything. But my body wouldn't respond.

The room tilted and my legs gave out.

I slid to the floor in slow motion. The blood warm beneath me.

Then everything went black.

-

I opened my eyes and gasped.

I was on the floor. Blood everywhere. My blood. Soaking through my dress, pooled beneath me, dark and thick.

How long had I been unconscious?

I tried to stand, but my legs wouldn't hold me. I collapsed back down.

My baby.

I had to get to the hospital. I had to try.

I started crawling, my knees scraping against the floor, but I didn't care. If there was even the smallest chance my baby was still alive, I'd crawl through broken glass to reach it.

My phone. I needed my phone.

I found it in the living room, shattered. James had destroyed it. I had no way to call for help.

Tears streamed down my face. Pain radiated from my abdomen, my knees, but worst of all, from somewhere deep in my chest that had nothing to do with physical injury.

I kept crawling. I had to get to my car. Had to drive myself to the road, flag down a cab and get to the hospital.

It took forever to find my keys. I grabbed them with shaking hands.

Getting into the car was agony. Every movement sent fresh waves of pain through me. My dress was soaked through. More blood on the seat.

I didn't care.

I started the engine, my hands trembling so badly I could barely grip the wheel.

Just get to the main road. Just get help.

My vision kept blurring. I blinked hard, trying to clear it. My mouth was dry as sand, lips cracked, throat burning with thirst.

The driveway seemed endless.

Finally, the main road. I could see it. Just a little further.

My vision dimmed at the edges and everything was going dark.

No. Not yet. Please.

I didn't see the post until I hit it.

The airbag exploded into my face. There was pain, and then darkness.

-

I became aware of white lights, chemical smell, and beeping machines.

I opened my eyes slowly. Everything hurt. My forehead throbbed. My arms felt heavy.

Someone was holding my hand.

I turned my head. James sat beside the bed, gripping my fingers like they were the only thing keeping him anchored. His eyes were red and wet.

"You're awake." His voice cracked with relief. "Thank God, you're awake."

I looked to my right. Patience stood there. One of the nurses I'd worked with for years. Her eyes were red too.

"My baby." The words scraped out of my throat. "How is my baby?"

Patience's face crumpled. She took my other hand, squeezed it gently.

"I'm so sorry, Tamsin." Her voice was barely a whisper. "Your baby didn't make it."

The words landed. I felt them hit. Then I felt nothing.

"The crash?" I asked. My voice sounded flat. "I lost it in the crash?"

"The pregnancy was already compromised from the bleeding." Patience's professional mask was slipping. I could see her grief underneath. "If you'd gotten to the hospital sooner, we might have been able to save it. But the accident..." She trailed off.

I nodded. "I see."

"But you can try again," She added too quickly. Like she needed to fill the silence with something hopeful. "Your womb is intact. There's no reason you can't conceive again when you're..."

"Thank you, Patience." I cut her off gently. "I appreciate it."

I closed my eyes. Heard her moving around the room, checking monitors, and adjusting things I couldn't see.

Then the door clicked shut.

I opened my eyes again and looked at James. He was still holding my hand like he had the right to.

He wiped his face with his free hand. "I'm so sorry, Tammy. I was coming back for you when..."

"James."

He stopped. Looked at me with those red, desperate eyes.

"It's enough," I said quietly. "Let's get a divorce."