Mag-log inâWhat?!⊠Wait⊠Serena, you donât fucking mean thatâŠâ
I scoff hard as Damienâs voice follows me when I storm out of the room. As I storm down the lobby, he comes behind me in long strides. âSerena!â âSerena⊠hold the hell up.â I completely ignore him. I arrive at the living room in no time, and it is just as lively as I left it. Guests are eating and drinking, most of them hanging around the newborn baby as my mother rocks her in her arms. No one seems to notice my presence at first, until Damien catches up with me. âSerena!â He grips my wrist sharply to pull me back, but I donât know how it happens. My hand acts on its own, and in the next split second, a hot, thunderous slap lands across Damienâs face. It comes out so loud and sharp that it startles the baby into crying from that far away, and it alerts every single person in the room. Some drop their dishes, bottles crash, people gasp, and some stand up. Iâm not that surprised by the terrified shock everyone throws at the scene. I mean⊠itâs not every day you see a prominent figure like Damien Hartwell get slapped, and by his own wife, no less, right at her sisterâs ceremony. âSerena!!!â Damien shouts in rage. His hand is pressed to his burning cheek and his eyes are burning just as fiercely. Bianca shrieks behind him in shock. âAnd what the hell did you do that for?â My motherâs voice erupts beside me, getting me to face her. Sheâs rocking the crying baby in her arms. âHow could you slap your husband in front of our guests, Serena! Have you lost your sanity?â my father adds. Heâs right behind my mother, looking at me with blazing eyes as if Iâve just committed a sacrilege. âAnd Iâll slap him over and over again if I have to! He already lost his respect when he decided to have an affair with my sister!â âWhat?!â Shock goes around everyoneâs faces. My parents have their jaws dropped and their eyes wide like deer caught in headlights. âHe cheated on me, Mum, and as if that isnât enough, he now has a baby with my sister!â My eyes are back on Damienâs burning ones. âWhat?!â For the first time, my mum flashes her noble son-in-law a look of disgust, and then turns to Bianca, who is clinging to him. âWell, so what?!â My fatherâs voice suddenly comes out cold. It goes through me like ice, and I canât comprehend what he means until he speaks again. âSo what if he had an affair with your sister? Is that enough reason for you to disrespect the guests here?!â And I frown. Hard. Hard enough to make my face hurt. Really? âReally, Dad? Disrespecting the guests? Is that all you care about? Did you not hear me right, or do you just not care about my feelings? My husband impregnated my sister, and Iâm the one in the wrong for slapping him?â I look at Mum, and if I expected her to take my side, then Iâm sorely disappointed. Her next statement lands like a brutal blow. âYour father is right, Serena⊠Besides, would you blame Damien so much? Maybe if you had given him an heir, he wouldnât have gone to get one elsewhere. Who do you think would inherit the Vance and Hartwell hospitals and assets?â A lone tear sharply escapes my eye, taking me by surprise. I am speechless. All I do for what feels like a straight thirty minutes is stare at them both while everyone has their eyes on me. I stare, hard and dumbfounded, at the same people who are the reason I had to marry Damien in the first place, when I never wanted to. I was forced into it just because the Vance and Hartwell families needed to merge their hospitals. âI was married off so the Vance and Hartwell hospitals could merge. I thought it was a miracle since it was Damien. Business. It has always been business. They never cared what I gave up.â âI have loved Damien since I was nineteen. I trusted him with everything, and now this is what I get!â Tears are streaming down my cheeks now, and when I snap out of my daze, I blurt out my mind to my parents. I move so close that I can stare directly into their eyes. âYou know what? I regret ever knowing you both as my parents. I regret ever trying to please you both. I regret shouldering the hospital responsibilities even when it became so unbearable. I regret giving up my surgical fellowship, the one thing that was ever mine, just for you both! Youâre not even worthy of being called my parents!!! God⊠I despise you!!â Iâve never done this. Iâve never spoken so harshly to them before. Iâve always been the obedient, submissive and responsible daughter while Bianca was the rebel, but this is it. I ignore the disbelief on their faces and storm to the door. Damien tries to come after me, but he stops himself when Bianca holds his arm. Funny how heâs now my sisterâs pet. They all call after me, but I ignore them. As I get outside, all the tears I had tried to hold back come pouring down my cheeks. My heart feels sore inside my chest. I feel like pulling it out. And as if to make my situation more pathetic, the rain comes drizzling down hard. Soaking my hair. My clothes. Washing my cheeks. My knees go weak and I crash under one of the trees on the mansion grounds. Thankfully, itâs a hidden place. I cry even more, my voice mingling with the drizzling rain. Minutes later, a hand suddenly drops on my shoulder. I flinch hard. For a moment I think itâs Damien, but I oddly feel betrayed when the person turns out not to be him. The familiar, gentle face of a young man in a rosewood tux stares at me, pity glistening in his sea-blue eyes, his hand extending a napkin toward me. âElias⊠what are you doing?â I say, using the back of my hand to quickly wipe my tears, and he cuts me off with a hush. âShhh. I was at the party, remember? I saw everything that happened, and I couldnât just let you leave like that.â âWell, I would really like to be alone right now,â I say dryly, but Elias sits down anyway, still holding his napkin. âIf it makes you feel better, you can cry it all out. I wonât stop you. At least crying releases oxytocin and endorphins, which make you feel good.â âOh, please donât throw your medical terms at me.â âAnd donât act like you arenât a doctor either,â Elias says with his signature sexy chuckle. Elias is one of the doctors in our hospital, and heâs the coolest guy I know. We arenât really friends, but at least we get along. âSo what are you going to do now? About your parents, your husband, everything? I hope you get everything resolved soon. If thereâs any way I can help⊠tell me.â I turn to him slightly. âCan you help me get a good lawyer before tomorrow? I would have done it myself, but I feel burnt out right now.â âYes? Why?â Elias asks. âWell, Iâm divorcing Damien, and if you donât mind, can I stay at your place until I get my own accommodation?â I donât need to persuade him further. Elias would always offer a helping hand, anytime, anyhow. Heâs every bit a doctor, always looking out for the other personâs interest. Sometimes he reminds me of the Damien I thought I married. âSure, if thatâs what you want.â ~~~ Iâm sitting across from Damien. The mini courtroom is dead silent, laced with the sick suspense Damien has created as we all wait for him to sign the damn papers. He honored the court summons and came as soon as possible, so what the heck is taking him so long to sign the damn thing? Iâm already running out of patience, and Iâm about to speak before Bianca does. Yes, Damien brought her along, either to spite me or because they couldnât even wait for the divorce to be official. Not that I care, though. Call it absurd, but Iâm oddly glad to have Elias beside me as well. Especially seeing Damien riled up by his presence next to me, even though he never speaks up. âWhat are you doing, Damien? Sign it, my love.â Bianca whines seductively, wrapping her hands around Damienâs arm. âYes, Damien. Bianca is right. You should sign already. We donât have all day.â I bark, keeping a firm look even though Bianca is intentionally flirting with Damien to spite me. Damien glares at me one last time before he scribbles his signature, and I do the same. âAnd just so you know, Serena, donât you dare crawl back to beg me to accept your sorry ass, because I wonât!â Damien spits as soon as Iâm done signing. I try to see some sort of hatred in his eyes that matches the hate in his tone, but all I see is a pained man whoâs afraid to lose me. Maybe Iâm mistaken, but it still feeds my ego. So I chuckle and say with equal energy, âIâd rather die than crawl back to you, Damien. Have a nice life!â With that, I stand up and head for the door, leaving both of them stunned. âArenât you coming back to the mansion, Serena?â Bianca asks in a mocking tone. I want to ignore her and keep walking, but I suddenly feel a strong surge of weakness. âAre you okay?â Elias asks beside me as I stagger back. âYeah⊠Iâm fine. I justâŠâ My vision suddenly blacks out and I find myself helplessly crashing to the ground. âSerena!!!âWe donât go out the front.Naomi doesnât even need to say it. One look at her face and Elias is already on his feet, one hand under my elbow, steering me through the kitchen of the tea house past a startled cook and a stack of clean saucers. The back door opens onto an alley that smells of wet cardboard and fried onions.âWait,â I whisper.I canât help it. Through the thin wall, I hear a voice carry from the front room.It is smooth. Patient. Reasonable.âIâm only here as a worried father, Ms. Park. My daughter is in a fragile state. Iâd simply like to know that sheâs safe.âMy father.Twenty-eight years of that voice. It could talk a board into silence and a nurse into tears, and it never rose above a murmur. I used to think calm was the same thing as strength. Standing in a greasy alley with my hand pressed against my stomach, I finally understand the difference. Strength doesnât need to freeze a daughterâs bank accounts at midnight and call it concern.âSerena.â Eliasâs hand tighte
I donât sleep.I lie on Eliasâs bed with my eyes open, one hand on my stomach, listening to the city breathe outside the window. Every time I close my eyes I see the amber bottle. Every time I drift, I hear my motherâs voice, thin and pleading. Please, darling. Iâm asking you.At six, I give up and get dressed.At nine, Elias drives me across town to a tea house with a sagging green awning, tucked behind the courthouse where I signed my marriage away. Naomi Park chose it herself. âNobody who matters to your father would ever walk in here,â she told me on the phone.She is waiting in the back room, at a small table with a pot of tea she hasnât touched. She is about forty, in a dark suit, her hair pinned back so severely it looks painful. Her eyes go to Elias first, sharp and measuring.âI asked you to come alone, Dr. Vance.ââHe stays,â I say.A pause. Then she nods once. âThen he stays.âWe sit. She slides a thick cream envelope across the table, sealed with brittle red wax. My grandm
The bottle slips from my fingers and hits the carpet.It doesnât break. It just rolls to a stop against the leg of the chair, small and brown and harmless, like it hasnât been sitting in my bag for months, waiting.âSerena.â Elias is in front of me before I even see him move. His hands close around my shoulders. âLook at me. Breathe.ââI drank it.â My voice comes out thin and strange, like it belongs to someone standing far away. âEvery morning. For three years.ââWe donât know what it is yet.ââHe knew.â I look up at him, and the room blurs. âDamien wrote it down on a page from a prescription pad. He knew, Elias. Why would he write that unless it wasâŠâI canât finish the sentence.Because if I finish it, it becomes real. And if it becomes real, then every miscarriage, every night I sat on the bathroom floor with my hands pressed over my mouth so no one would hear me, every time I whispered what is wrong with me, it all becomes something else.Something that was done to me.âHey.â Eli
Three knocks.Slow. Careful. The kind a man gives when he already knows he isnât welcome.I freeze in the middle of the kitchen with the bowl still in my hands. Water runs over my fingers and I forget to turn off the tap.âSerena.âHis voice comes through the wood, low and rough, like he has been shouting for hours and lost it halfway.I set the bowl in the sink without a sound. Then I do something Iâm not proud of. I tiptoe to the door like a child hiding from a monster and press my back against the wall beside the frame, where the peephole canât see me.Elias told me not to open it for anyone.I wasnât planning to.âI know youâre in there,â Damien says. âThe light is on under the door. And Eliasâs car isnât downstairs.âOf course he checked. Of course he did.âI got the address from someone at the hospital. I shouldnât have. Iâm sorry for that too.â A pause. âIâm not going to force my way in. I wouldnât. I just need you to know that.âI say nothing. My hand slides to my stomach on i
The pregnancy test is still on the floor where it fell. I stare at it for so long that Elias finally bends down, picks it up, and places it on the cabinet like it might bite him.âSay something,â he says.âI already did. I said Iâm removing it.ââYou did. And I said we should try first.â He pulls a chair beside the bed and sits, elbows on his knees. âSerena, Iâm not asking you to be happy about this. Iâm asking you to look before you decide.ââLook at what?ââYour baby.âI flinch at the word. My baby. Not Damienâs baby, not the heir, not the thing that will end in blood and tears like the rest. Mine.âEliasâŠââTen minutes. If you still want to end it after that, I will personally book the appointment and drive you there. No lectures. I swear.âI want to say no. Every part of me that has been broken over three years of miscarriages wants to say no, roll over, and pretend this room does not exist.But I am a doctor. And doctors look at the scan before they decide.âTen minutes,â I say,
My eyes snap open and I feel a dull ache in my head. I scan around and see cannulas connected to my wrist, but Iâm a thousand percent sure the bed Iâm lying on isnât as rocky as a hospital bed, and neither is the room.The room looks and smells kind of familiar, but I canât figure out whose room Iâm in or how I got here in the first place. Thankfully, the door swings open and Elias trudges in, dressed in his medical coat.âYouâre awake!â He drops the pile of files heâs holding on the cabinet and rushes toward me on the bed.âHow are you feeling now?â he asks as I pull myself up to sit, and he quickly guides me up.âI have a slight headache. What happened to me?â I mutter, my memory in jumbles.Last I remember, we were all in court and I had divorced Damien. What happened after that?âYou passed out yesterday at the court, so I brought you here.âI passed out? âWhat happened? I mean, whatâs wrong with me?â I rasp, getting worried.Elias smiles and gently rests his hand on my thigh. âSh







