Too Late To Want Me

Sarah seemed unusually cheerful that evening, all because her husband had just texted to say he would be coming home early. That rarely ever happened on a weekday, especially this close to the weekend. Without the slightest suspicion, Sarah hummed happily as she prepared dinner for her husband.

Perfect.

Once everything was arranged on the dining table, Sarah quickly freshened up, making sure Declan wouldn’t catch the smell of smoke or spices clinging to the clothes she had worn while working in the kitchen. She changed into a cotton home dress patterned with lotus flowers that fit perfectly around her slender figure.

The sound of the greeting came with the click of the front door opening. It had to be Declan.

“Haiii… honey.” Sarah smiled as she welcomed him. She quickly reached for Declan’s right hand and kissed it before taking his work bag from him and carrying it inside. “Looks like you’re not too busy today. I’m happy to see you home this early.”

Sarah followed closely behind him, her eyes briefly glancing at the wall clock above the television. It was only five in the afternoon.

“Yeah. I’ve finished everything.”

Declan worked as a manager at a construction company, which often required him to work overtime to finish everything on his plate. But today, he had deliberately skipped overtime and gone home early. There was something he needed to tell his wife.

“There’s something I want to talk to you about, Sarah.” Declan accepted the glass of chilled orange juice she handed him.

“Okay, Im all ears.” Sarah sat beside him, smiling patiently as she waited for him to finish his drink.

“You should take a shower and change first. Then we’ll have dinner, and after that, we can talk, okay?” she added calmly, in her usual gentle tone.

Ever since he married Sarah two years ago, Declan had felt as though his life was filled with rules. Do this after that. Take care of this before doing that. And every single one of those rules came from the dimpled woman sitting beside him.

There was something about the sparkle in Sarah eyes that always made it impossible for him to refuse or argue with her.

“Okay. I’ll take a shower first.” Declan got up and headed toward their bedroom.

After showering and changing clothes, Declan joined Sarah at the dining table. The sweet smile on his wife’s face remained, even though he rarely returned it. Without being asked, Sarah served several dishes onto the plate already filled with white rice.

It was something she always did, even though Declan had never asked her to. “Hmm… I like all kinds of fish.” Declan picked up the spoon and fork resting in front of him.

Ever since marrying Sarah, many things in Declan’s life had changed. Including the food he ate every day. When he was single, Declan had never paid much attention to his meals. He often relied on fast food. Now, he was slowly getting used to home-cooked meals prepared by Sarah.

Even every afternoon, a courier would deliver lunch to his office. And of course, it always came from his wife.

“You said you wanted to talk. What is it about?” Sarah asked after they had finished cleaning up dinner. The beautiful woman was now peeling an apple for their healthy snack.

“Hm…” Declan cleared his throat a few times, making sure there was nothing left in it. He straightened his posture on the living room sofa and lowered the volume of the television they had been watching.

“Sarah, you remember why we got married, right?” Declan turned toward his wife.

At his words, Sarah stopped peeling the apple. Slowly, she placed the plate of fruit on the small table beside the sofa before looking deeply into Declan’s eyes, trying to make sure he was serious.

“Of course I remember. Because our parents arranged our marriage, and it was also my late mother’s final wish.” Sarah answered carefully.

“But, Sarah …” Declan paused. “For some reason… after all this time, I still haven’t been able to fall in love with you.”

Sarah lowered her head as she heard the rest of his sentence. That was exactly what made Declan uneasy.

“And I don’t think it’s fair to you. You deserve a good man who genuinely loves you. Not a man like me, who stays by your side without feeling the same way.”

Sarah felt as though her heart had been squeezed. “What do you mean?”

“I can’t continue this loveless marriage.” Declan’s words made Sarah look at him in confusion. “I just want you to be happy.”

“I’m happy in this marriage,” Sarah quickly interrupted.

“But I’m not!” Declan said it as though he had done nothing wrong.

He lowered his gaze because he didn’t have the courage to look into Sarah’s tear-filled eyes.

“Tell me what I did wrong. I’ll change.” Sarah’s voice was barely a whisper.

“No, you did nothing wrong. You’ve never done anything wrong. This is entirely about my feelings. I can’t keep pretending everything is fine.”

Declan took both of Sarah’s trembling hands in his. “But why… why?”

The tears Sarah had been holding back finally spilled down her cheeks. The tightness in her chest grew worse when Declan simply shook his head.

“I’m truly sorry, but maybe this is what’s best for you… and for me.” Declan spoke again after Sarah returned from the kitchen, having finished clearing the dining table.

“But you were the one who said you would learn to open your heart to me. To accept this marriage. We even…” Sarah broke off, her voice trembling between sobs. “We even became husband and wife in every sense of the word.”

“I’m sorry, Sarah. But love can’t be forced.”

“Then…?”

“I want us to get a divorce.”

“Divorce?” Sarah’s eyes widened in disbelief. “Are you joking?”

Declan quickly shook his head. He wasn’t joking. The thought had been lingering in his mind for a long time. Countless doubts had stopped him from saying it out loud. But something that had happened earlier that afternoon had only strengthened his decision to leave Sarah.

“I would never joke about something like this.”

Sarah clenched her fists tightly. She couldn’t understand how a man as calm and sensible as Declan could bring himself to ask his wife for a divorce.

“What about our parents? How am I supposed to tell my father and my brothers? And what about…” Sarah stopped to take a deep breath. “Your mom…”

She gathered her courage and looked straight at Declan. Norah, Declan’s mother, had been the driving force behind their arranged marriage several years ago. The middle-aged woman loved Sarah as though she were her own daughter. That was why Norah had been overjoyed when Sarah accepted the proposal from Declan’s family.

“That’s easy. I’ll explain everything to them. Especially… Mom.”

In truth, Declan was deeply troubled by the thought of telling his mother about their separation. After all, he was her only child, and Sarah had always been her favorite.

“Fine, then, if your decision is final.” Sarah wiped the tears from her face.

“I can’t refuse anymore. You’re the husband, the head of this family. If this is what you’ve decided, then I’ll accept it.” A second later, Sarah stood up and walked into their bedroom.

Declan could only breathe a sigh of relief as he sank back into the sofa. He hadn’t expected her to agree so easily. A faint smile appeared on his lips.

Almost an hour later, Sarah finally came out of the bedroom and sat beside Declan again. Her hands moved restlessly, tightly clutching something.

“I agree with your decision, but I have one condition.”

Sarah gathered the courage to look at Declan, the man she had secretly loved throughout their two-year marriage.

“What condition?” Declan straightened his posture.

“Let me stay in this house for the next few months. At least give me some time to prepare myself… and find the right reason to tell my father before I go back home.”

***