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2025-12-11 09:29:24Vivienne's POV
“I don’t wish to be a weight on you," I admitted sincerely, my voice trembling. "I don’t want everyone to see me deteriorate bit by bit.”Julian nodded his head gently. With complete conviction.“If you need to weep I’ll stay by your side. If you vomit I’ll take care of it. If you’re unable to walk I’ll lift you.”He tilted closer a bit not near, yet, near enough to cause my heart to throb.“You will never be a burden to me.”A part within me dissolved entirely.I closed my eyes. "It's guilt you feel," I whispered more to myself than to him.However Julian responded promptly, his voice steady but unmistakable.“If it were just guilt I wouldn’t be here.”My eyes fluttered open. Our eyes locked more and now there was nowhere for me to conceal myself.“I’m concerned about you, Vivienne.”He stopped momentarily inhaling deeply and calmly.“Maybe even more tha
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Too Late for Regret: My Husband and My Son 67
Vivienne's POV My chest constricted. His words broke through my barriers one, after another. I tried to speak anything but my tongue felt unbearably heavy.I caught a glimpse of his cologne subtly blended with the saltiness of his tears. The hug was overly firm, nearly hurting. I didn’t resist him. I wasn’t sure if it was due to exhaustion or because a part of me still longed for his presence."I regret it,” he murmured more gently this time as if admitting a truth hidden for ages. "I regret not loving you properly. I regret causing you to feel isolated. I regret understanding it all when I was on the verge of losing you."The words caused my eyes to sting.Almost lose you.Almost lose you.Those two words repeated in my mind more intensely than his sobbing itself. Similar to a noise bouncing in a space I believed had become numb. My chest shook, my breathing stuck in my throat. I wasn’t prepared to listen to that, not at th
Too Late for Regret: My Husband and My Son 66
Vivienne's POV I shut my eyes. Attempted to control my breathing as the nurse had instructed. Inhale, for four counts. Hold for two. Exhale gently. I repeated this time until my pulse calmed down somewhat. My body was still shaking. My mind started discovering tiny spaces where it could rest.Straining, I. Shuffled toward the window. The curtain was sheer allowing the afternoon sunlight to stream through. Beyond the ocean rested quietly the skyline blending into a hue. Figures appeared of an old couple clutching hands a youngster chasing seagulls. Life did not pause simply because I was unwell. Life paused for no one.“It’s alright." I murmured gently to my image, in the mirror. "You don’t need to be tough today.”The words seemed unfamiliar. For years I gauged myself by how much I could withstand. How silently I concealed my fatigue. How swiftly I rose again after stumbling. Now my standard has shifted. Now merely rising from the ground felt like a t
Too Late for Regret: My Husband and My Son 65
Vivienne's POVI rested on the bedroom floor propped against the bed’s edge, a blanket draped around me that remained chilly despite the sun beginning to set. My hands shook while clutching a cup of water I hadn't taken a sip from. An ache pulsed in my head, a persistent pain that never fully disappeared and my chest constricted with a pain much deeper than any side effect of chemotherapy.I never intended to push Julian.The idea kept echoing in my mind like a chant without a reply. I realized my words came across as harsh. I saw the expression on his face when I told him to leave shocked, upset and wounded. He was unaware. He had no idea how difficult it was for me to face him with a body I no longer identified as mine.I didn’t wish for him to witness me in this state.No longer was the Vivienne of old tidy collected, perpetually standing tall by his side. Not the Vivienne who managed to choke back tears and grin as though all was well. Now
Too Late for Regret: My Husband and My Son 64
Julian's POV The nurse gave a smile. "I am searching for Mrs. Vivienne. She resides in this unit correct? She neglected to collect her prescription for pain medication. Additionally there is medicine for nausea if the side effects following her chemotherapy remain intense. I happened to be passing this way so I decided to bring it over.”The term chemotherapy struck my chest like a battering ram.I halted. My breath disappeared. The world appeared to stand.“W-what are you implying?" My tone sounded rough, strange, to myself. "Why is Vivienne receiving chemotherapy?”The nurse appeared puzzled, somewhat uncomfortable. "You’re her relatives, correct?”I wished to refuse. I longed to be truthful to reveal we were divorced and that I lacked any entitlement to inquire about anything longer. Yet my gut refused to let me utter the truth. Something within me shouted that confessing we were now strangers would mean losing all understanding o
Too Late for Regret: My Husband and My Son 63
Julian's POV I moved away from the door with a heart, each step seeming like a slight act of treason. Yet before rounding the hallway corner I paused and glanced back one last time.“For a moment Vivienne," I murmured. "I’ll stay close.”As I moved my shoulder grazed the wall while I attempted to relieve the pressure choking my chest. My phone buzzed inside my pocket, Ophelia or the office. I chose to ignore it. Let it stay silent. The world could hold on for a moment.Vivienne couldn’t.I shut my eyes briefly tuning into the off noise of waves flowing in through the hallway window. She might have been able to hear them indoors well. She appreciated moments, cozy tea, moonlight and the ocean murmur.Her life had been too noisy for far too long.And I was part of that noise.I glanced at the door more.I realized I shouldn’t push my way in.However I was unable to leave.“At the least allow
Too Late for Regret: My Husband and My Son 62
Julian's POVI didn’t depart immediately.Soon as the door shut behind me I halted. My hand remained clenched around the doorknob as though a fragment of me was unwilling to release it. My breaths were labored and irregular as if I had just completed a run.I need to head home.I ought to return to Maximilian, my son, who is likely searching for me at this moment.I need to return to my life.Yet my feet refused to budge.I simply remained motionless in the cramped apartment corridor, quiet, gazing at the wooden door that divided me from Vivienne. That door seemed like a barrier, somehow more difficult to overcome than any challenge I had ever encountered in my life.“Why do you always act like this Vivienne?" I whispered gently.Not angry.Not disappointed.More like broken.I rested my back against the wall and exhaled deeply. It seemed as if even my lungs resisted letting
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