Chapter 08: What My Heart have never Known

“Ayman…” I whispered. I felt shaken… and strangely safe at the same time.

What I was feeling in that moment was something I couldn’t quite name.

He stepped closer, and in his eyes I could see he hadn’t expected to find me like this.

Neither had I. I felt ashamed. Pathetic.

He crouched down in front of me and gently took my hand.

The gesture unsettled me. He didn’t look away as he said softly,

“You don’t have to worry. I’m here.”

My heart started pounding all at once.

I had never been particularly close to him. But his kindness—his quiet attentiveness, so different from his friend—had always made me feel… seen.

And once again, Ayman was there for me.

“Claire, let’s go, okay?” he added gently.

He gave me the softest smile. In the middle of all that chaos, it felt like finding a fragile pocket of peace.

That outstretched hand.

That reassuring smile.

I chose to take it.

He helped me with my suitcases. I followed him silently to the car.

But just before getting in, something shifted.

His eyes were fixed on the front door of the house. His hands had curled into fists.

It unsettled me.

A lump formed in my throat, stopping me from speaking.

The softness in his expression had turned into something else—something fierce. It looked like he was seconds away from storming back inside.

Deep down, I wanted support.

But not like that.

Not from him. He was Jason’s friend. I didn’t want to be the reason for chaos between them.

All I wanted was to get as far away as possible—from that fake marriage, from that fake friendship.

That’s why I stepped closer to him and murmured,

“Ayman… please, let’s just go.”

Then I got into the car.

Through the window, I could still see the tension in his jaw.

What was going through his mind?

Was he angry at what his friend had done… or was it something more?

Minutes later, he joined me in the driver’s seat. He seemed calmer.

At his place, all I wanted was to be alone. To erase everything with the snap of a finger.

But life doesn’t work that way.

The divorce papers were sitting on the table in front of me. Signing them should have been the easiest thing in the world.

I couldn’t do it.

I didn’t even understand why.

I had never been loved in that marriage. I had been hurt. Cheated on. Disrespected. Signing those papers meant freedom. It meant cutting ties completely.

So why couldn’t I pick up the pen?

Maybe… I had simply grown used to it.

My heart had spent so long excusing his behavior that sometimes I tried to see him as someone other than the cold, selfish man standing in front of me.

With his friends, he was charming.

In front of cameras, he was admired for his business brilliance.

Other women looked at me like I had won the jackpot.

And from the very beginning, he never hid the fact that he didn’t love me.

Still, I clung to something that never existed.

And I confided in the wrong person Natalie.

A while later, Ayman came into the living room. I could feel the sadness in his eyes as they rested on me.

God, I was ashamed.

He didn’t deserve to deal with my mess in his home.

He looked at me like he wanted to say something, but every time, he held himself back.

The silence became unbearable. I stood up abruptly.

He stood too.

“Wait, Claire,” he said softly. “I can imagine what you’re feeling right now. I’m here… if you want to talk.”

I turned toward him instinctively.

That gentle gaze. That empathy.

I fought back tears.

But before I even understood what I was doing, I ran to him and threw myself into his arms.

I had cried all evening. I wanted everything out. I wanted to scream my pain—but at who?

My marriage had been a complete waste.

And I had lost a friendship I believed was unbreakable.

I had been trapped in a masquerade that slowly imprisoned me.

As I sobbed against him, I felt his hand rest on my back firm, yet unbelievably gentle.

I had never known that kind of safety.

Then, unexpectedly, he murmured,

“I’m sorry, Claire… I hate seeing you like this because…”

My chest tightened. I lifted my eyes to his. Our gazes locked.

“Because…?” I whispered.

And suddenly, he kissed me.

I froze. My eyes wide open.

I had never felt anything like that in my entire life.

My clenched fists slowly relaxed. My heart was racing so fast it almost scared me.

But at the same time… it felt safe.

An explosion of sensations I had never known before.

Little by little, I let myself respond.

I kissed him back.

Was I betraying the vows of a marriage that had already betrayed me?

Was this wrong?

In that moment, I stopped thinking.

Ayman had awakened something inside me that had been asleep maybe even dead for far too long.

A part of me I had never allowed to exist.

A woman who feels good.

A woman who enjoys a man’s presence.

A woman whose fragile, darkened heart was finally beating again.

Through that kiss, I began to see him differently.

Was this what love felt like?