Toxic and Twisted

Men are trash, especially Alpha men. Alpha men are at the very bottom of the trash heap covered in even more stinky smelly trash. Yes, I am bitter, I was rejected by my Goddess chosen mate. And why you ask because I am "wolf less and weak."

 

It was bad enough growing up the pack outcast because I was different. I never really cared about the same things they did. I was always different from the other little girls. In elementary school it wasn't so bad. The little girls like the princesses, I was just into them a little bit more, okay a lot more. How cares if I liked to try and dress up like them? And who care's that I felt lucky to have brown hair to match Belle? She is the best, that's the hill I will die on. They would tease me and pull on my ponytail. No big deal. But when middle school came that's where the hair pulling got real. I remember Tracy Maxtor she was the worst. One time I was getting my books and came up behind and pulled so hard some of it came out.

 

But I knew that things were going to be different when I entered high school. I was going to be cool and popular. Boy oh boy was I wrong. Thats when shit got real. While they were concerned with makeup and name brand clothes, I was content with my nose buried in a book and wearing whatever character shirt I could find. I was a proud Disney fan, and that made me an easy target for bullies. They would mock my love for princesses still and make fun of my outfits. When I got into Harry Potter it got even worse. It wasn't just harmless teasing, it turned into physical bullying as well. Guess they realized part of that sticks and stones saying what true. They would pull my hair and push me around, all because I didn't fit into their idea of what a girl should be. It was hard, and it hurt. I felt like an outcast, but never once wanted to fit in because if that was how normal girls acted it wasn't for me. Regardless of how many bones they broke. Because they defiantly did once they got their wolves and had the strength. And yeah, at that point I didn't have Jasmine so slow healing for me. When she did come, when I was eighteen, the damage had already been done. I carried those scars with me, both physical and emotional, for a long time.

 

And then I met him, Alex the Alpha male. At first, he would find me alone between class and he was kind. Then he would let his fingers brush against me, he desired me. But he couldn't tell anyone. He was the head jock, Mr. Popular. He was the epitome of everything I wanted to be - strong, confident, and charming. I was convinced that he was my destiny, my mate chosen by the Goddess. And I was right. So, I approached him, he was going to love and stop the abuse from the others our age. But it turned out that I was wrong. He had known for years who he was to me and while he didn't do anything directly, he didn't stop it.

 

He rejected me, saying that I was "wolf less and weak." My heart shattered into a million pieces. How could this happen? I had always believed that I was meant to be with an Alex. And now, I was left with nothing but bitterness and resentment towards everyone around me. From that day on, I made a vow to myself to never trust an Alpha male again. And I, the rejected one, was left to pick up the pieces and rebuild my shattered self-esteem. But I refused to let them break me. I was determined to prove that I didn't need anyone to define my worth. I was strong and independent, and I didn't need anyone's approval to be happy. It wasn't until I learned to embrace my differences and be proud of who I am that I was able to move past the hurt and the pain of being bullied. I packed up my stuff that night and left, rejecting my pack bonds and the boarder.

 

Men may be trash, but I was a survivor.

 

I sigh as I watch the server rush off, almost knocking me over with the swinging door. It's fine, I tell myself, shifting my focus back to the task at hand. I brush my hand down my very Disney apron, the one I insisted on wearing even though I'm a grown woman. I can't help it; I still love Disney and I'm not ashamed to show it. Same goes for my love for Harry Potter and all things nerdy. Regardless of being twenty-two now. But hey, I am who I am.

 

I take a deep breath and survey the kitchen. The smell of my cooking fills the air and my stomach growls in response. I may or may not have eaten today, nerves getting the best of me. But it doesn't matter, because this is my big break. I've finally landed a huge event for a local pack here in New Orleans. I'm not exactly sure what the event is, but it doesn't matter. This could be my ticket to success.

 

I pop in the last batch of mini quiches into the oven and set the timer. As I wait for them to cook, I plate the beef wellington, the smell making my mouth water. I'm so focused on my work that I don't even hear the swinging door open again.

 

"Here, this is ready," I say to the server who is standing there looking frazzled, handing her a tray.

 

She takes it from me and thank me before she rushes off, the door almost hitting me again. I shake my head, used to the chaos of a busy kitchen. But this is my element, where I thrive. Cooking and creating delicious dishes is my passion, and nothing can take that away from me.

 

As I continue to work, my mind wanders back to my past. I used to belong to a terrible pack, constantly judged and rejected because I was "wolfless and weak." But I know better. I'm not weak, I'm just different. And I do in fact have a wolf. But now, I'm free. Free from the toxic masculinity of alpha men and their pack mentality. I may still struggle with the mental scars, but physically, I am free.

 

"Ha, yeah right," Jasmine, my secret wolf, says in my head. She's always there, providing a little bit of snark and keeping me company.

 

 

As I carefully plate the food, I can't help but feel a sense of satisfaction. Cooking has always been a form of therapy for me, a way to escape from the chaos of my life. But just as I am about to add the finishing touch to the dish, the door swings open forcefully, hitting the wall with a loud thud. My heart jumps in my chest and I snap my head up, startled by the sudden intrusion.