Chapter 5

After handling my grandmother's funeral, I returned to college with Rachel.

Rachel's computer broke down, and while it was being repaired, she went to the library to work on her thesis using my laptop.

Later that night, after I dropped her back at her dorm, I planned to watch a movie on my laptop. A notification popped up in the bottom corner, and I realized that Rachel had forgotten to log out of her Whatsapp on my computer.

I opened the chat window and froze when I saw the message:

"If Zoran Faraday knew you were just faking the leg injury on the mountain, would he break up with you?"

A few seconds later, Rachel replied:

"He wouldn’t! He can't lose me."

"Why don’t you tell him that it was all an act to test him? Let’s see what he says. If he truly loves you, he’ll forgive you. If he gets mad, that means he doesn’t love you. You should break up with him immediately."

Moments later, my phone buzzed with Rachel’s message:

"Zoran, I need to confess something to you."

I replied:

"?"

"If I told you that when we came down the mountain, I was just pretending that I couldn’t walk to test you, what would you do?"

I responded:

"Then I would definitely break up with you."

Rachel appeared to be typing for a long time, but no message was sent. She was probably hesitating.

After a while, she sent a cute emoji.

"No, I was testing you! My leg really did get hurt. Because of me, you missed your grandmother's last moments. I feel so guilty."

I opened the chat interface between Rachel and her friend and saw that she was boasting to her friend.

"I just tested him. He immediately forgave me. He even said that the dead can't be brought back to life, so of course the living are more important."

I coldly smiled, took a screenshot of the chat and sent it to Rachel.

"Rachel, I’m so tired. Let’s break up."

I blocked all her contacts.

The next morning, as I was walking back to the dorm after class, Rachel cornered me. It was the time when people were moving between classes, so the school paths were crowded.

She wore a white dress so her legs were bare. She knelt on the concrete path, hugging my leg.

There were still unhealed wounds on her legs from the rock she had smashed on them during the hike, and the friction made the wounds bleed again.

"Zoran, I didn’t agree to break up! You can’t break up with me one-sidedly! I’m begging you, please don’t break up with me!"

Countless eyes were on us, their gazes choking me like a tight net. Rachel displayed a crazy ruthlessness towards both me and herself. She placed both of us on a moral trial, handing us over to society for judgment.

"I know that, because I was careless, you weren't able to see your grandmother's last moments. But Zoran, even if you had reached the hospital in time, your grandmother wouldn’t have survived. You can’t blame me for her death. Just because I'm still alive, I'll never be as important as a dead person in your heart?"

Passersby pointed and whispered.

"Poor girl. She’s on her knees, but her boyfriend won’t even help her up."

"Is he doing this on purpose? Making her kneel in public to humiliate her?"

"What kind of feud is so serious that it has to be resolved this way? That guy doesn't seem like a good person."

"Look at his face. There's not an ounce of sympathy. How heartless can he be?"

People instinctively felt compassion for the seemingly weaker party. It seems the one who presents the suffering best owns moral superiority.

How many times had my heart softened due to Rachel's tears?

When I showed so much as a hint of discontent, Rachel would harm herself worse, like the time she jumped off a building after tricking me into missing the exam, or the time she ate a pound of mangoes, which she was allergic to, to proudly prove that she could also die for me.

Even now, Rachel continued to test me, testing whether her kneeling would soften my heart enough for reconciliation.