Chapter 5: Pinch Me!

I stayed in the bathroom for another few minutes because, honestly, I wasn't ready to go downstairs and face whatever Marcus meant. How was I twenty, with children, a missing year, and a relationship with Alpha Trojan that I couldn't remember starting?

The worst part was that Trojan hadn't acted like we were a couple when he came into my bedroom.

He sat on the edge of my bed and asked if I was feeling alright. He didn’t kiss me, hug me, or even touch me in a way that suggested we were anything more than a former guardian and ward. If Marcus was telling the truth, that meant I wasn’t in a coma.

And he said there was never a fire, but I clearly remembered a fire. Was I losing it? Did I lose my memories? Or did I die and get reborn in the future? Okay, it was definitely not the latter. That would be nuts.

I slowly walked toward the bedroom door.

“Okay, Billie,” I whispered to myself. “You can do this.”

I walked down the hallway and followed the sound of the crying downstairs. When I reached the bottom of the stairs, I stopped.

Alpha Trojan was standing near the sofa with one baby in his arms. The other was lying in a small bassinet beside him.

I stared.

They were tiny.

Not newborn tiny, but still so small that I couldn't understand how either of them could possibly be mine. The baby in Trojan's arms had a little fist pressed against his chest while Trojan gently bounced him.

It was the most beautiful sight. But they couldn’t possibly be mine. Neither of them. Something in my chest squeezed. I couldn’t imagine myself using a child, or in this case, children, to trap a man. To trap Trojan. It was even more impossible to imagine my nineteen-year-old self doing it.

I was practically wasting away at nineteen. Seducing a man was the last thing on my mind then. I just wanted to finish at the academy and go my own way. Away from Marcus. So how did I end up here at twenty? With kids and zero memory of any of it?

The baby in the bassinet started crying again.

Trojan looked down at the one in his arms before glancing toward the stairs.

His eyes landed on me. “There you are,” he said, with a frown.

“Hi.” My voice came out low.

I couldn’t control the beating in my heart or the fear I felt over what any of this meant for me.

“Feeling okay?” He put the baby in his arms into the bassinet and took the other one. “You’re usually more excited about this part of the day.”

I blinked but didn’t say anything. He looked back at me. I couldn’t move. My legs stayed stuck to the floor. I knew I should move. I really did.

“Babe?” he whispered.

My heart dropped then.

Babe. And it sounded like it came out so easily. As if he had said it to me so many times. I stared at him, waiting for something inside my head to click, anything. Nothing did. Maybe I should’ve been waiting for someone to pinch me into waking up. I was probably dreaming. Maybe this was the coma.

If it was, it should’ve started right at the beginning of this whole ordeal because what the hell? How could I touch that man and not remember it? It was everything that made up my fantasies from eighteen to nineteen.

“Billie?” Trojan muttered, breaking into my shameless thoughts.

I finally forced my legs to move and walked down the stairs toward them. My eyes kept jumping between him and the babies. I wanted to ask a hundred questions, but I didn't even know which one to start with.

“Which one is mine?” I asked.

Trojan's eyebrows pulled together. “Baby. Should I call Marshall? I think the postpartum stress is getting worse. It’s been three months, Billie.”

I blinked. Marshall was a sassy omega in the pack who also happened to be a psychologist and the academy’s councillor.

I forced a smile. “No, I’m fine. I’m just… tired.”

“You sure?” he asked. “You haven’t exactly been yourself for a while, but these two always make you feel better.” He moved to hand me the baby.

She had on a thick, pink crawler with tiny white bears covering it. She didn’t have a hat on. Her hair was dark and short and looked really soft. I didn’t even know how to hold her. I couldn’t even remember her name. I didn’t even know her eye colour until those baby blues met mine and I almost crumbled down like a wall, with her in my arms.

Moon Goddess, what kind of joke was this?

“Are you ready?” Marcus’s voice came from behind me. “Goddess. Why are you still in your pyjamas?” He approached until he was standing beside me.

But I didn’t have eyes for him. I had a toothless, dimpled little smile aimed at me, and it made my heart stop thundering and clench instead.

“Maybe,” Marcus said slowly, and touching my shoulder.

I flinched from the touch and quickly pretended to be cooing the already calm and happy baby, stepping away from Marcus.

“We should cancel the party?” he added.

“If it’s what you want, Billie?” Trojan asked. “You only turn twenty once.”

It really was my birthday. That meant it was the tenth of June. How could I possibly care when I didn’t remember what seemed like the most important details of my life?

“No.” I shook my head and stopped pacing. I turned to Trojan and Marcus. “I’m fine. The party must go on.”

Maybe I can get a clue as to what the hell happened for me to get here.

“Then how about getting ready.” Marcus smiled and gestured to himself. “And letting your best buddy escort you to fetch that killer dress?”

I almost gave a bitter laugh but caught myself. So we were still doing that pretending to be a saint in Trojan’s presence thing. Even at twenty? I would’ve thought that perhaps we wouldn’t have to pretend to be friends anymore by now. That Trojan would’ve figured it out, or Marcus had ran out of the patience pretending.

Especially now that I was apparently his father’s girlfriend, woman, whatever we actually were. I doubted I was his Luna. I didn’t have a ring on my finger.

I looked up at Trojan, who was already walking toward me. His eyes moved from my face to the baby in my arms, and there was something so familiar about the way he looked at us that made me bite my lip.

“You go,” he said softly. “We’ll survive on bottles.”

He stepped closer until he was standing right beside me. His hand settled at the small of my back as he smiled at the baby and made little ooo-coo sounds to her.

I stopped breathing.

It was such a simple touch, but heat still rose up my neck. My stomach fluttered, my fingers tightened around the baby’s little body, and a flashback from earlier rushed back to me, making my eyes drop to his mouth. To that full lower lip.