Nathan

Present

“Hello, are you listening to me?” She asked me with a frown. “What are you thinking?”

“Eager to know what’s going on in my head, sweetheart,” I smirked.

“No, thanks.” She blushed and lowered her head.

“What kind of ring do you want?” I asked her while cutting the pancakes with a knife. “Cushion cut, oval, round, pear, heart, princess, radiant. What about the stone? Diamond, ruby, gold, sapphire, we can get whatever you want.”

Lyra stared at me, dumbfounded. She didn’t say a word, nor did her expression give away to me, so I could understand what was going through her mind.

“Did anybody ever tell you before that you needed a doctor?” She sighed and gazed at me with compassion. “You need help, dear. Try to talk to a doctor.”

At first, I thought she was making fun of me, but the serious facial expression and the tone of her voice said this woman was dead serious. Every word that fell from her mouth was earnest and stern.

I saw her compassionate side over the year. There wasn’t a cruel feature in her. She was kind, pure, and sincere.

“I don’t need a doctor, we need a priest who would announce us as a man and woman.”

“You are certainly not thinking the fake engagement announcement of us would be real? That we would be a husband and wife and live happily ever after?”

I nodded.

“Then I am sorry for saying it, but you indeed need a doctor.” She paused and looked at me. I don’t know why, but there was irritation in her voice. “Nathan, look, what you did for me that night. I appreciate that. I really do, but that was forged. We both know that, and now I don’t see the point of enlarging something that is going to end today or tomorrow.”

“What if it never comes to an end?” I whispered.

By saying this, I looked like the desperate boyfriend who was begging his girlfriend to accept him when undoubtedly; she wanted to get the hell out of the relationship.

But I was desperate. I waited a year to make my move, stopped myself from saying things I wanted to, holding her hand, kissing her, and this time it felt like this was my only chance in love with her. If I missed it this time, then there would be none in the future.

I couldn’t sit around and see her with different men every time, watching this for a year was frustrating enough, and I didn’t want to go through that again. Not when I had a chance to have something real with her.

I was done staying in the shadow, watching over, feeling like a child who couldn’t have his favorite candies. I couldn’t have her. I told my heart so many times; I shouted those words in my bedroom so many nights so that my heart could hear those and stop making these pathetic demands.

I slept with several women, blond, brunette, Asian, black, tall, short, just to get her out of my fucking mind, to get her out of my system, but I failed. Every time I had those women in my bed, it was Lyra who was on my mind when I was pounding hard inside their pussy. It was her face that I saw instead of my partner’s, and trust me, sex had me the worst for me after that.

I couldn’t go to bed with a woman before without thinking about her. A similar thing happened with Olivia too, after she told me she was pregnant with my child. I was happy, but felt guilty towards Lyra. That’s when my heart told me I betrayed her when there was nothing between us. We were strangers, yet I felt like a cheater.

“What do you want from me, Nathan?” She softly asked me. “There is nothing that I can give you, I promise that. I am no one. You are wasting your time on me.”

“What do you mean?” I frowned.

“Nothing.”

“That doesn’t answer my question, Lyra.”

“Thank you for deleting those pictures and videos from social media. If anyone from my family saw those pictures, that would put me in a hard position. Thanks for that.” She gave me her sincere smile. “I mean it, thanks a lot.”

“Why would you be in a hard position?”

“A week ago, my siblings asked me if I had anything with you. They saw some pictures of us in your car, and they thought something was between us, so they asked, and I told them the truth.”

“Which was?” I raised my eyebrow.

“That you helped me when my car broke down and dropped me home.” She glanced at me before lowering her head. “If they saw those pictures, that would demonstrate me as a liar. It will hurt their hearts. I don’t want to do that.”

Brian didn’t ask her because he was worried about her. He asked those questions because he wanted to find out where I was. I am sure this happened a week ago when I called him and threatened him to bring on the road.

The situation wasn’t good in many ways, and I fear things were about to get messy. If I found out Brian was behind Olivia’s murder, then no one could stop me from killing that dude with my bare hand, but then I was afraid I would lose Lyra forever.

The feeling that I had for her could save her brother, but I didn’t think that would be fair to Olivia.

If Brian died in my hand, it was the end between me and Lyra. No sister in this world would want to be with her brother’s murderer.

“What are you afraid of?” I asked her.

Right now, I was afraid I would never get my chance with her, losing her completely, the way I lived in the previous year, watching over her but unable to reach for her as she was forbidden to me. I was scared of going back to that path.

This was unrequited.

Forbidden love, is it?

“Many things, but that doesn’t concern you. What I am trying to say is we need to stop. Nathan. I have no idea why you said to your family that I was your fiancee, that was an obvious lie, but I can’t do that with mine. I don’t lie to them. So, let's over this.”

“Okay, I get your point.”

“Thank God.” She realized a sigh of relief even before hearing what I was going to say.

“I am ready to do whatever you want to do, but in return, I want you to spend the day with me as my fiancée. You will be with me until the clock hits midnight; after that, we will go back to our lives and never forget anything that happened. Give me a day, and I will give you what you want. Sounds good to you?”

“Why are you doing all this? It is out of my understanding?” Her back leaned on her chair and stared at me with curiosity. “Okay. We have a deal.” She held her hand across the table, and we shook it and sealed the deal like two adults.

Before this day came to an end, I would make sure you fall in love with me. I did this as promised to myself when we shook our hands. The same thing was with me too.

After breakfast, I thought about what we should do next; it was 9 in the morning; the weather was fine, sunny, and the breeze was as usual. What would a normal engaged couple do now?

And I knew the answer instantly.

I intertwined our hands as we made our way towards my car, opened the door for her, then hopped in the next sit with her.

I drove the car in the direction of my apartment.

“Where are we going?” Lyra asked.

“Come to my house.”

“Wait, what? Why?” Her voice increased in panic, and she appeared frightened.

“Relax, sweetheart. Because it is only 9 in the morning, we are going to take a nap before our lunch date. After that, our day will get busy, You have to have enough energy for the rest of the day.” I stopped the car in my apartment driveway.

“I don’t think that it’s a good idea. It would be so wrong. If anyone finds out, I am here, things can take an ugly turn.”

“I don’t care. Let’s go.” I got out of the car and walked to her car, opened the door for her, but she didn’t move an inch to scram from her seat. Even her seatbelt was still on, and she was gripping that tightly.

This was a sign of nervousness.

Lyra gazed at me from the corner of her eyes, and three lines appeared on her forehead. Her brain was racing with thoughts. She was thinking the worst.

“Hey, we will just take a nap. I promise. Nothing more than that. Trust me. I will not hurt you. It’s just a little nap, Lyra.” I squatted so I could be on the same eye level as her.

In reality, I wanted her in my place. This was my last and only chance for that. Her roaming around my apartment was the domestic thing I was able to get in this situation. I thought about this a lot.

Every time I came from following her, I would think of her here. It would be so great to have her here, near me, in front of my eyes, listening to her talking about her days, laughing, cooking for me, watching movies after dinner, cuddle on the couch, before heading for bed, waking up together in the morning sounded like heaven to me. But that was a dream that had, and there was no chance for this to come true. That was the most I could get, and I was ready to take that.

I had always known Lyra, and I was a dream, a sweet illusion that could never come true in this life or even in another thousand life.

For the first time in my thirty-year life, I pitied myself. I felt sad for myself. This was unique, as I never thought I was unhappy or anyone could make me happy. But after seeing Lyra and knowing she would never be mine, I felt pathetic, as equal as a loser.

Lyra finally unblotted her seatbelt. I stood and gave her my hand. She gracefully took my hand and got out of the car. I laced our hands as we entered my apartment, her small pale hands were tender yet rough, which was due to her job as she was working with water constantly. It sucked the moisture from her hand.

Yet I liked the feeling of her hand on mine. And I instantly dreamed it would be nice if I could live this life for the rest of my life. But there was nothing that we could do about that. She was clear as water about staying away from me; she wanted nothing with me, even if I pressured her. In the long run, we were a lost cause. That wasn’t how you got love.

You couldn’t pressure anyone to love you if that person didn’t want to. She might pretend for some time, but then in the future, we would be miserable, which would lead to divorce. I didn’t want that kind of life for any of us.

Rather than that, I prefer to watch her from far while she lived happily with someone she wanted to be. The pain of losing her was here and would be here, but I would be happy when I saw her smiling, enjoying her life. Even if that meant I had to get out of her life for the better. I could do anything for her. Sacrificing my life for her was the little one compared to the other things I did in the past.

We took the elevator and came to my apartment, which was on the top floor of the 38th-floor building.

I unlocked the door, and I motioned her with my hand to go inside. After a few seconds of hesitation, she set her feet inside my house uneasily, but slowly she went deep into my home, and I followed her with a smile. She was on the edgy, carefully glancing left-right, front-back every two seconds as if someone or something was about to come from somewhere and eat her alive.

I smiled at seeing her this jumpy. If Caleb didn’t inform me, I would never guess her as a McCoy. Even right now I wasn’t sure about her identity. I had my doubts. Something about her just didn’t go with the McCoy. It didn’t matter how much I thought about her, something about her made her different from the clan perfectly. What was it? I failed to point that out.

Her personality was distinct. If I talked about her siblings, Brian was a social guy, this life was a party, this man was everywhere. You would find him attending every party that happened in Chicago. Now with his new wife, Inessa, the sweetheart of Chicago, they were killing everyone with their sweet PDA and off-chart chemistry.

The next one, Viola. The female Brian of the family. That woman was the definition of badass. She was stunning with her shoulder-length blonde hair, blue eyes, professional attitude, graceful nature. She didn’t take shit from anyone. That woman only knows the business. Among the McCoy siblings, she was the cruelest one to deal with, whether it was business or bed. This woman was tough to cope with for a man.

While Owen, the youngest son of the family, lost. People didn’t care much about him, even when he was in front of them. He attended everything with his family, but the company of them everywhere was a mystery that no one was able to crack yet.

Here she was. Everything was just so poled apart from her family.

Lyra stopped in the middle of the living room and walked towards the window wall. I showered my living room in white, white couches fall to the couch, while the round coffee table ahead of the couches and the marble floor was light grey. The fireplace and my 80-inch TV were hanging on the opposite side of the couch. And I decorated this entire room with the ceiling to wall glass windows. From this height, I was able to enjoy the Chicago scenery perfectly. Everything looked too small from here, the buildings, cars, people. They were as small as an ant.

You were able to see everything from a height, and that was the disadvantage. During my bed days, when I stood and looked down with a glass of champagne, I felt empty inside. Watching people laughing when I was covered with the clouds of gloom, especially after Olivia’s death, it hurt me greatly. After coming home watching Lyra, when I saw a couple walking hand-in-hand or sitting in the corner of the park and making out passionately, it killed me.

The sensation that kept growing inside me was hard to avoid nowadays. I was getting sick of this hide and seek. Either this ended or Lyra came to my arms willingly. One had to be done, otherwise, this feeling was suffocating me enough to lose my damn mind.

“Your house is beautiful.” She said. Her back was on my face while she gazed outside the window fascinatingly. “It is exquisite.”

“Thank you, sweetheart.” I walked over and stood behind her.

The smell of her perfume smashed into my nose, and I inhaled the orange blossom, woody, vanilla scent of her fragrance. Simple yet elegant, just like her. My hands were out of control in desired to hold her. They were itching to touch her bare skin so badly that I shoved them into my pants pockets before I made any mistakes or created an obstinate situation for us.

I only got a day with her to relish my lifetime dream. I wasn’t that moron who would mess with everything just to fulfill some bloody desire.

“I am speechless.” She turned and her eyes were sparkling with twinkle lights. The smile that reached her eyes bought a sense of peace to my heart.

“Want to see the rest of the house?” I asked her. “I am honored to be your tour guide.”

She nodded with a smile, and I took her hand and walked to the dining room that was accommodated with an open kitchen.

The room was simple, with an eight-chaired wooden frame glass table, a silver chandelier was dangling just above the table, there was a wooden piece matching the frame of the dining table where water, glasses, other dining room-related things were stored.

White rustic kitchen with a white stone wall. The kitchen was clean all the time as I never cooked here. Mostly I had my dinner at my casino or my parents’ place, or if neither of them was available, then a takeout was what I did.

“This is my dream kitchen. I can spend my whole day here. This is so beautiful.” She explained. “I am now regretting rejecting your marriage offer. If I knew this was your kitchen, I would have said yes even before you asked me. Shit, I should have said yes to you.”

“My kitchen did the job that I couldn’t do. Wow.” I smiled at her. “If I knew that was the way to win your heart, I would have shown you my new house pictures. The kitchen there is way grander than this.”

“Don’t say a word, Nathan Hall. I am getting greedy now.”

“Works for me.” she glared at me and roamed around every corner of the kitchen. As expected from a chef, she had a fascination with cooking things. She spent her days in this kind of place all the time, yet she loved to stand here. It was out of my reach.

“Let’s get to bed. Unfortunately, we had a limited time. I can’t waste any now.”

As soon as her head hit the pillow, instantly, I repeat, instantly, she fell asleep. For a few seconds, I thought her eyes were closed. I lay with my head in my hand and started to listen to her; she was serene. Slowly, her mouth slightly opened, and she started snoring. Seven seconds was what it took her to fall into a deep sleep. And by this time, she was seeing dreams, too.

I took my phone from the nightstand and opened G****e. Without thinking about anything, I searched for the McCoy siblings. Thousands of pictures came in front of me. Some were individual, some were all of them together; however, Lyra wasn’t any of them. I clicked one where Brain and Owen were standing while Viola was sitting on a chair in the middle of them. I gazed at the picture for a long time, then I looked at Lyra.

The dissimilarity was clear, and I knew it now too. Three of them were blond while Lyra had red hair, Viola was short, around 5 feet 3 while Lyra was tall, around 5 feet 7 or 8. While all siblings had the same facial features, Lyra had different ones than them in every way. They had blue eyes. Lyra was the owner of green eyes. When you saw four of them together, you know how different she was from her other siblings.

I searched for Cora and Matthew McCoy after that. I opened the latest one I could find, as all of them were old. Even the latest one was ten years old. When I saw Cora and Lyra, I could find similarities, as they both had the same almond eyes, straight nose, heart-shaped facial structure, but with Matthew, she had nothing in common, just like her siblings.

“I am no one.” This was what she told me when we were at the restaurants. I didn’t understand the meaning at the time, but everything was clear to me at this moment.

Lyra wasn’t a McCoy. She was Cora McCoy’s daughter, but Matthew wasn’t her father, so were her siblings weren’t her.

She was the result of the sin of her mother’s betrayal.