Past

~Hannah~

Nathan turns and props himself up and I happen to lean up at the same time. We are facing each other. The closeness makes us pause, aware of the very tiny distance between us, between our lips. Our eyes meet and lock and I instantly realize we have been in this exact position before. 

I suck my belly in and hold my breath afraid he will hear how ridiculously fast my heart is racing. 

“Ma'am Hannah!” 

I hear a loud shrill, impulsively kick Nathan off and jump to my feet. He groans softly. From the corner of my eyes, I see a smirk curl up in his face and I cuss myself inside. 

Clara, my favorite maid in the house, is darting towards us in the most disheveled manner. Seeing her like that makes my stomach knots and I feel Nina’s soft whimper. Clara is prim and proper and knows the house rules. Only something urgent and serious will have her abandon her class and manners like this. 

“Ma'am Hannah! Where have you been! I have been looking all over for you!”

I tighten my face. “What is the problem, Clara? You know you can be scolded for this.” Clara knows Cathylene Durk hates when one is running and being ‘classless’.

“Someone from the Pack hospital is here…it's…its…Olivia…” She is breathing heavily pointing at the same path she came through. 

The knot in my stomach twisted further. A sudden flicker of fear washes over me for a split second. 

“It’s okay. Can you calm down and speak?” Nathan comes to my rescue. 

“Olivia has collapsed!”

My heart sinks. “Olivia…my baby…” My lips quiver. Forgetting everything including my footwears, I run out of the training center. I am running frantically towards the gate when a car pulls up in my front. 

“Get in!” Nathan calls out from behind the steering wheel. 

“It's okay I can find my way.” Liam can't see us together. 

“You are not thinking straight right now. I will drop you off in the hospital.”

I look around. I can see things but I don't know what it is I'm seeing. I get into the car and he drives off. “Olivia please…mama is coming…Olivia please…save my daughter goddess…save my daughter whoever is listening right now…”

I did not know I could still pray to the goddess until this moment. The thought of my precious daughter lying in a hospital bed… I am so shaken I face the window and sob heavily. How will I live? Olivia is my whole world. She is the reason I can tolerate how badly Liam treats me. She is the reason I am still alive. I cannot lose her. I will die. I will die. 

Nathan squeezes tissues in my palms and mumbles some words I didn't make out. 

As soon as we reach the hospital I jump down. 

“Hey, it's gonna be alright, okay? I will park the car and come meet you. Olivia will be alright.” 

His words are like incoherent letters to my ears as I faintly nod my head and my weak legs dart into the hospital. 

“Please where is my daughter? She was brought here?” I ask the receptionist. 

“What's your daughter's name?”

“Oli…” Tears clog my throat at this point. I cannot begin to explain the way my chest is tight. I am scared. I have never been this scared. “Her name is Olivia Durk.” I manage to say. 

My eyes wanders off as she checks her system. 

“Olivia Durk, 3 years old, brought in from preschool–”

“Yes…yes…she's my daughter. Where's my daughter?”

“Olivia's mum?” A middle aged man with white chin beards comes up and asks. 

I nod fast, swiping the tears in my eyes to see clearly. “Yes yes…where's my daughter?”

“Follow me please.”

As I follow him, the strong hospital scent overpowers me and tears start to cloud my eyes all over again. “How's Olivia? Can I see her now?” 

“I’m sorry to say this but Olivia is in a critical condition and needs blood immediately. You must be aware her blood is rare. We are out of it at the moment. A family needs to donate –”

“I will do it. I will donate blood for my daughter. Where should I go? How do I do it?”

He orders a nurse to take me to a room I didn't care to study. All I can think of is give them my whole blood and save my baby. 

“Unfortunately your blood does not match. You cannot donate blood to Olivia.”

I feel my head spin when the doctor says this. “What do you mean I cannot donate blood to my daughter?” 

“After several tests, I'm sorry but your blood is the common blood and don't match. However, your husband can test. I'm sure he will be a perfect match.”

“I'm right here. Let's run the tests right away!” Liam’s voice echoes in the hallway as he rushes over. Liam may hate me but he never jokes with his daughter. I release a sigh as he follows the doctor to run tests. 

The doctor comes out minutes later. 

“How’s it going doctor? Can I see my daughter now?”

“I regret to say but unfortunately your husband's blood does not match either.” The doctor announce.

“What are you talking about…”

He looks at me and my body chills. My head whirrs like a fan blade filled with dust. I feel my body shaking. Everything is crashing down on me. Like a dark tunnel, my past is closing in on, sniffing life out of me. 

“Doctor…can you please explain…what will happen to my daughter…what will happen to my baby…” Hot tears slip down my face. 

“I’m afraid to say but if she don't receive blood right now, she will die.”

The hospital machines begin to beep loudly. The nurses start to scamper. I run after the doctor and beg him to save my daughter's life. But he's looking at me with nothing but sadness and disappointment in his eyes.

Look at my past haunting me.