Make out

GISELLE

I let his words sink into my head for the next five minutes. I feel pale and I slowly go to sit on the edge of the bed. It's devastating news and I wasn't given a heads-up. I wasn't prepared for it, guess that's why it hit me hard.

Tears brew in my eyes but I blink them back. I shouldn't be crying. It'll only make him feel worse. I have to try hard to keep my emotions in check. No matter what, I got to try for him.

"Why?" I finally ask, getting a hold of my tears. "What happened?"

"It just did. One minute, I'm at my desk and the next minute, I'm asked to leave. Just like that." He's looking out the window. His shoulders are slumped and that's enough indication that he's hurting.

"I don't understand…" Who gets fired out of the blue? And it's not just that. Theo is the best accountant in the company. He's been with them for five years now. Why would they just fire him without so much as an explanation? It doesn't add up.

"Me neither." There's a wet crack in his voice. "It feels like a nightmare and I'll wake up from it soon. That's why I couldn't tell you. Because I still can't believe it myself."

My vision gets blurry with tears and I let them fall. I'm hurting, more because he's hurt. Theo has been my husband and soulmate for eight years. We're connected in every way a husband and wife should be. Right now, I'm feeling every inch of his sore heart, and all I wanna do is soothe him.

He turns to look at me and the tears in his eyes jab at my heart. His leg is crossed over to the other and his hands are in his pockets.

"I'm so sorry, Giselle. I promised to give you the best in life and make sure you don't lack a thing. But right now, I don't have a job. I'm such a failure…"

"No. No, Theo, you're not."

"The facts speak for themselves, don't you think?" He adds calmly, taking a sharp breath. "I'm not gonna be selfish enough to ask you to understand and not get mad. You have every right to get mad…"

"I won't…"

"You should. You also have every right to leave me if this burden is gonna weigh you down. It's gonna break my heart to watch you go, but I'm not so selfish as to force you to stay with me in this unpleasant situation…"

"Theo, don't say that." I sob, feeling hurt by his words. "I'm not gonna leave you…"

"I wish you wouldn't. Trust me, baby. I'll do anything to make you stay. But I just lost my job. I don't know how long before I can get a good job. Things might get hard. I won't be able to give you the comfort you're used to."

"And I'll understand…"

"I don't want you to understand because you feel you're obligated to. You deserve every bit of comfort and I'm never gonna hold it against you if you choose to go get that comfort elsewhere." 

I sob quietly. This conversation just took an ugly route and it's drilling painful holes in my heart. I hate that he thinks I'm ever gonna leave all because he lost his job. I hate that he thinks so low of my love for him.

"Do you want me to leave, Theo?" I ask, sniffing back my tears.

"God knows I'll do anything to make you stay." His mouth is partly open, as tears roll down his tears.

"Do you want me to leave, yes or no?" I reiterate, looking into his teary eyes.

"No." He admits in a broken tone. "I don't want you to leave, baby. But I've lost all the rights to ask you to stay."

"You have every right to ask me to stay, Theo, and I'll do that. All you have to do is ask, not push me away. It hurts when you do that."

"I'm sorry." He whispers. "I just don't know what else to say. I've never been in a situation like this before and I don't know the best way to handle it."

"I understand."

We're both silent again, but our eyes are glued on each other's. No words are said, but a million feelings are being conveyed through our stare. He's shattered and hurting. His eyes are hooded with pain. There's no way I'm ever gonna leave him. He's been my ride-or-die for eight years. I'll never give up on him just because he lost his job. And if I'm given all the in the world, without him by my side, then it's just…not complete. He's my first comfort. The only man I've been with all my life. Leaving him is impossible.

A soft knock on the door rids me of my thoughts. 

"Mummy, I'm ready!" Shane yells, still knocking on the door.

"I'll be down soon, sweetie. Go wait in the sitting room!" I yell back, trying to sound as cheerful as I can.

I hear his heavy steps on the floorboard as he runs down the hallway. It's just me and Theo again.

"I'm not leaving, Theo," I tell him firmly, drying the tears stained on my face.

"But, Giselle, I –"

"I said, I'm not leaving." I snap, cutting him off. "I'm staying."

"But why?" He asks desperately. "I just lost my job and…"

"Because I love you, Theo."

"I know, but baby, love doesn't do it all. It doesn't clothe you, feed you, or give you the beauty in life. Money does, and I don't have it right now."

"But you will." I stand and walk closer to him, cupping his face. "And I'll be here to support you all the way. I'm not leaving you, Theo. For better or worse, right?"

He nods with a smile and a tear drops. "Yes. For better. For worse."

I smile too, thrilled that he looks relieved. "And besides, where am I ever gonna get a man who's gonna fuck me as good as you do?"

My little tease gets him laughing and he pulls me into a tight hug. I pat his back, shutting my eyes to feel every inch of him.

"I love you, Giselle."

"I love you more, Theo." And I meant every bit of it. I love him. More now than ever.