Chapter 4

The leaves from the trees rustled as the breeze blew by, whispering soft melodies in my ears. The moon shone ahead, its light illuminating against the still water below the balcony where I stood. I laid my hands on the banister, closed my eyes, and let the night air fill my lungs. As I let this moment cloak me with so much comfort, warm hands laced gently around my waist from behind. I didn’t pull away. Instead, I tilted my head to the side. The person behind placed his chin on my shoulder, their breath brushing against my cheek. I put my hands on their arms and smiled.

“What are you thinking?” he asked in a low tone. His voice sounded familiar.

“Us,” I answered. “When all of this is over, what about us?”

He turned me around so I was facing him. I couldn’t read his expression, and I couldn’t tell who it was; his features blurred out. But despite that, my body easily recognized him as it melted in his touch. His hand caressed my cheek, and his eyes searched for mine.

“If the Goddess fated, everything will align,” he said.

“What do you mean?”

“This isn’t up to us now. But I’ll always be here for you.” His voice almost cracked.

He leaned forward, placing a gentle kiss on my forehead. I fluttered my eyes closed and felt warmth surge through my body. He trailed kisses on my temples down to my cheek, as his hands moved down from my waist to my hips, tightening his grip. I clutched the hem of his shirt and, when he brushed his lips on my jaw, my breath hitched. He pulled me closer to him, our bodies collided, and heat replaced the coldness of the breeze. My knees weakened when he nipped my neck, as he groaned softly on my skin. I ran a hand through his tousled hair and let out a soft breath. He pulled the hem of my sweater to the side, his lips tracing kisses on my collarbone. When a sharp pain lanced through my flesh like I’d been stabbed, I flinched and pulled away. He lifted his head, blood dripping from his mouth to his chin. Sharp fangs had grown on his teeth, and his hollow eyes turned red. And when I touched the bite on my shoulder, I stared at him in disbelief.

He marked me.

“Your eyes are turning blue,” he stated.

But I hadn’t turned or shown any signs of turning for quite a long time. How could marking me trigger that? And the sharp pain hadn’t disappeared; it should’ve healed immediately. Instead, the pain dug deeper, burning through my flesh as if I’d been stabbed by silver. When I laid a hand to cover it from the harsh wind, it worsened. Continuous blood seeped through my fingers, my head spun, and my vision blurred. I could barely see him.

Who is he?

“What did you do?” I managed to utter despite my state. “This isn’t how it’s supposed to be.”

“Then you’re not one of us.” His tone changed to an even tone, almost apathetic. “And you never will be.”

He gripped my shoulder, pushing me further until my back arched against the banister. I felt too weak to fight back, too dizzy to realize what he was doing. I held onto him, afraid that I might fall from the balcony.

“Don’t, please, I’m begging you,” I pleaded as tears escaped from my eyes. 

But as soon as he released me from his grasp, I stumbled down and was plunged into the deep water below the balcony. My vision faded, clouded by the murky water as his silhouette walked away from the banister. I tried to swim –– tried to keep my head above, but I was too weak to even move my body. It paralyzed me worse than silver, and my blood stung like an acid that felt worse than wolfsbane. I couldn’t breathe, as the water filled my lungs.

How could he do this to me? Why? What did I do?

Before my eyes shut, the moon from above watched me drown. I held onto that glimmer of light before I slipped into unconsciousness.

The cawing of a crow pulled me out of my sleep, as the soft duvet of the mattress hugged my body. My eyes flew open, and I was met by the white ceiling. The warm light from the nightstand created a shadow of a crow on the empty space, so I sat up and gasped for air.

It was just a dream, I reassured myself and put a hand on my beating chest.

I looked to the nightstand, and a crow was sitting beside the lamp. Where did it come from? I noticed the open window and the breeze coming through it that grazed against the draping curtains. Shooing the crow away, it stared at me for the last time and flew right back outside. So I shut the window and sat at the edge of the bed.

It’s not real. It’s just another nightmare. I tried to comfort myself, but my mind was already spiraling. Even now that we’d arrived in Azen, I was still having that stupid dream. But this was different from the last ones I had. The other ones were just eerie scenes and scenarios. This one felt more real.

My eyes landed on the invitation letter on the nightstand. So I opened it again to see what else was inside the card. It was written in script handwriting, which felt a little too personal. There wasn’t anything else aside from this last line.

If the Goddess fated, may everything align.

༺═──────────────═༻

I couldn’t force myself to sleep that night. I stayed in the living room, a coffee in my hand, and waited for the sun to rise. I wanted to write about the dreams, or the possible message the Goddess could be trying to reach me. I’d only come to one conclusion: this was the curse of being a half-blood, and I couldn’t do anything about it. It wasn’t like I could just turn back time and prevent my mom from getting pregnant. I was here before I even knew, and I didn’t have a choice. But Harvey was pure-blooded –– an alpha, even –– and he mentioned the same experience. That meant I wasn’t alone.

The sunlight came through the window pane, and its rays lit up the living room. As I stared ahead outside and the streets became busy, the door from Harvey’s room creaked open. He emerged from the door, and my eyes widened at the sight of him. It was as if he’d forgotten to wear a shirt. His red sweatpants hung low on his hips, just enough for the crevices of his V-line to show. His carved muscles flexed as he ran a hand through his disheveled hair. When he saw me sitting on the couch and staring at him, a soft chuckle escaped his mouth.

“Good morning,” he said. “You’re up early.” He walked towards the bathroom near the living room.

Yeah, good morning to me, I thought in my head as heat rushed to my cheeks. I had to remind myself that looking at him this way was weird. It wasn’t even admiration but something else.

“I stayed up,” I responded, and went to the kitchen to grab another cup of coffee. I leaned on the kitchen counter and cleared my throat. “How’s your sleep?”

I noticed that he was peeing with the door of the bathroom open and his back against it. I didn’t know what made him this comfortable too soon, so I had to pretend I wasn’t looking.

“Awful,” he replied. “I just wasn’t able to get proper sleep lately.” He flushed the toilet and began brushing his teeth.

I waited for him to finish before asking, “Why? Is it also because of the dreams?”

“How did you know?”

“Before we left for Azen, you told me you’ve been having dreams like they’re a sort of message. I guess this is a common experience.”

When he was done using the bathroom, he grabbed one of the hand towels and wiped his mouth  and the splash of water on his torso. I avoided watching him, but it was almost impossible. When he moved closer to the kitchen, I held tightly to my mug.

“About that… they’re just weird flashes of something I can’t decode.” He pulled the drawer open to grab a mug and poured some coffee for himself. Then he leaned on the island counter just in front of me.

“Really? I think I’ve decoded mine. Maybe it’s just about me having the curse of being a half-blooded werewolf.”

“What do you mean?” he asked.

“Well, remember what they told us when we were kids? That humans and werewolves aren’t allowed to mate, and the Goddess forbids it? Because that meant weakening the werewolf bloodline, and half-breed isn’t supposed to even exist, in the first place?” I watched for his reaction, but it was completely blank. “Yeah, I haven’t turned, Harvey, since the last full moon. The fact that the other werewolves can turn anytime they want and I can’t make me feel less like one of you. That was what the dream showed me.”

He didn’t respond immediately; instead, he stared down at his mug with his lips pursed as if he was thinking. He glanced at me through his lashes and sighed.

“There’s something I need to tell you.” There was a hint of reluctance in his tone. “It’s not a curse or the Goddess punishing you for being a human. It’s much more complex than that.”

“I don’t think it’s that complicated.” I shook my head.

“It is. Look, if I were to be completely honest with you, promise me you won’t hate me?” He placed the mug on the counter and stared into my eyes.

“It depends.” I shrugged.

“Mom and Dad sent me off here because they can’t let me fall in love and mate with a human. It’s the rule, and I’m an alpha. The dreams we’ve been having, they’re our relations to humanity that the Goddess is trying to strip us of. I never want to move here because I know I’ll be alone. So they told me to take you with me.”

I couldn’t utter a single word after he explained. I didn’t know how to react or what to feel. So that was the reason he looked a bit distant. Like his mind was somewhere else while his parents discussed everything.

“You fell in love with a human, I see,” I stated, and he just sipped on his coffee.

He avoided the topic and placed the mug on the counter before walking past me.

“It doesn’t matter. We should get going. The ball will be held tonight, and we need to find some clothes to wear.”

He was quick to change the subject as if it was the last thing he wanted to be discussed. So I let it go and didn’t bother asking him more about what happened.

But why did taking me with him make him agree to his parents’ decision to move to Azen?