CHAPTER 6

The following night after the council members had made their decision, there was serious tension in the packhouse. Every passageway Lydia tried to walk through, there was murmuring – unfinished conversations that stopped immediately she drew closer. 

Her presence sent uneasiness through the crowd; some pack members gave her some suspicious look, while others looked at her, hiding the fear they felt, as if she had already been judged and condemned in their minds.

Mothers were very protective of their children, pulling them very close to themselves trying to shield them. As for the warriors, they turned their eyes away avoiding any connection with her as though noticing her would attract the wrath of the council upon them.

The atmosphere was filled with unspoken accusations and looks of fear, sending a reminder of the new insecure position she now finds herself in.

Lydia raised up her face, as she pushed back against any weight pressing on her shoulders down. “Do not show any sign of weakness. Do not bow.” She said in her mind. A word that has been instilled in her by her father when she was still in hiding at woodland.

During those days, he had taught her the importance of endurance, the need to maintain her strength even in the face of adversity..

In the midst of all this, her wolf moved restlessly within her, trying to put away every limitation she tried to put on it – wrestling against the invisible hold that she tried pressing on it as the moment passed.

Not too far behind her was Kyle. He followed her every movement, silently watching her at every step she made. He was not just there to protect her but to guard her.

The way he looked at her was in a way that shows he was not giving in – he won’t stop looking out for her. His eyes showed deep care, as though he was taking note of every breath she inhaled, and taking knowledge of every moment of powerful feeling he could notice in her expression.

At last, she confronted him about the tension he was putting between herself and him. She felt a mix of fear and a firm decision. Kyle’s response was sharp. He responded with a degree of strength that caught her by surprise, revealing a weakness that he hardly allowed to be seen. There was something about the way he spoke – with a touch of desperation

“You really think I like the way I follow you like a guard dog?” He said showing frustration. I’d much prefer to stand just beside you as a partner, Lydia. But for the reality we’re faced with – the council, half of them are just waiting for an opportunity to strike, and I won't allow them that chance.”

He defended like they shared something in common, and it got to her heart, because behind the whole scene, she knew of a reality: Kyle feared her too.

********

The training session with him has become more exhausting, she was drained both physically and mentally. Kyle pushed her more harder than any warrior has ever had, demanding that she always gets it right and to do as he always directs her. Their practice would go on for hours, her muscles aching, and she shaking, trying to hold back.

He would provoke her intentionally, getting at her, getting to the point where she would want to strike that forces her wolf to want to rise up, impatient and wild. Each time her eyes began to sparkle with a dangerous shine, he asked that she hold it in, to gain control and keep up her calm.

As she fought to bring her wolf under control, feeling that power wanting to release, Kyle took hold of her tightly pulling her back from that urge of transforming.

Yet, on some occasions when she is so exhausted that it affects how she thinks and her senses, Lydia noticed how he looks at her that troubled her deeply. It was not just concern about her that she saw in his face; it was a deep longing, a sorrow that seems to become bigger from within him; a struggle of a man bound to someone the world thinks is not worthy.

The weight of this pressed so much on her, a burden that burned so much within her.

When night fell, in the quiet of her room, she couldn’t sleep; she knew she needed to sleep, but the lack of peace. She struggled to fall asleep

In her dreams, she found herself wandering through a thick forest, painted in shades of deep red, where trees appear to reflect their shadows around her, and a voice was heard clearly through the darkness; the voice was so natural but sharp, so sharp.

“You do not belong in their cages. You are wild, just as your blood is destined to be. Come to me. Claim what is rightfully yours.”

Those words kept repeating in her mind as she quickly awakened, her bedsheets folded around her limbs, her skin sweating from the feeling of anxiety of her dreams. 

Within her, she could feel the restlessness of her wolf – the wolf within her feeling the pressure in her spirit – fighting against whatever was holding her down, as if both she and her inner wolf were wanting to break away and embrace the wildness that was her true nature.

As the days passed by into another, there were weights of tension that could be felt in the air. Each passing day brings with it a deeper sense of evil and unease around her. And all the while, the shadow of betrayal was closer and moving into her life.

Her once cheerful best friend, Dinah, had changed her behaviour in a hurry. Her warm laughter and smile was now replaced instead by a distant look in her eyes. Dinah no longer tries to find Lydia for quiet conversations filled with shared secrets and reassures her when the rumors and gossip from the pack felt unbearable.

Initially, Lydia found herself asking for explanations, believing the change in behaviour was due to the pressure all around them – fear has a way of silencing even the most courageous, she thought. It was a whole lot to carry, being at the mercy of those stronger than her.. 

Yet, as she noticed Dinah in silent conversations in dark corners, her heart sank. Dinah’s voice could be barely heard above a whisper, and her eyes moved around in a quick manner as though she was trying to conceal her conversation from other passerbys…

And it wasn’t just anyone she was speaking to – it was the Beta, the Luna, the very people who had worked tirelessly to ensure Lydia was banished from the pack she had called home.

The realization hit her hard.

Still, she held on very tightly, telling herself that could endure it. She had no choice; Her harsh reality was that she simply had to find a way to cope no matter how unbearable the weight of the truth was.

Outside the border of the pack, at the wide forest, she felt a living being around with an energy she could not quite explain. Though she has not seen him yet, she could sense a kind of presence that was difficult to explain there…

..He was a rogue, obviously patient, like the moon that controls the time. He waited, not in a hurry but very vigilant.

Lydia saw a sudden flash of him sometimes in her dreams – like a quickly passing image and sometimes like thoughts formed in her subconscious.

In those perceived moments, he spoke of freedom, he spoke of a life that existed outside the rigid laws of the pack. He shared truths that no one had the courage to say at the current state she finds herself in, including the secrets about her father’s bloodline – wisdom that has been intentionally hidden from her for too long.

The wild and untamed part of her that she has suppressed for too long wanted to listen.

The pack believed they had her held in place, kept in check by Kyle’s loyalty and the unbreakable laws that have been set by the Alpha. To them it seems as though she was bound and unable to break free from the weight of the powerful force of their law and tradition…

..Yet, underneath, a different story was unfolding. Unseen conversations that had once held her in place have begun to unfold, slowly but surely coming at different times. 

And when those final conversations are out, nothing – no law, no loyalty, would be able to limit the wild spirit of her wolf that had long been suppressed.