Chapter 27

Though dawn had yet to approach, Race watched the landscape along the interstate swoosh by his window. Half of him knew he should have canceled this training trip, but the other half of him knew he needed to get away, if only for the day. Chrissie didn't seem to mind that he'd be out of town all day, and Dena practically pushed him out of the door early this morning after they took care of Chrissie and her nightly sleepwalking, saying that at least he could get a little sleep during the three hour drive to Fayetteville.

But sleep evaded him. All he could think about was what Chrissie said last night over gyros and spanakorizo. "I don't want to tell anyone else," she said, arguing with Dena.

Dena said, "People need to know. They're going to start suspecting that something is going on."

"Let them suspect," Chrissie returned. "I'll deal with them as things happen, but it's my problem. No one else needs to be dragged into it."

It's my problem...not his and hers...just hers. The implication pained him, but that was Chrissie. She took on the world, and save others from suffering through it with her. She always had a big heart like that, even when throwing coffee cups at his head. She was a contradiction, but he loved her for it.

Mike nudged him from the driver's seat. "Hey, man, you still awake?"

"Yeah," Race said, rotating his head on the headrest to look at Mike.

"Good...I need to crank some music up to get me going. Had to sleep on the floor last night."

Race smiled. "Genna finally take the bed?"

"And my recliner," Mike scowled, turning the dial on the radio to find a decent station. "She always hated my chair. Don't know what she wants with it."

"I told you to change the locks," Race said in a voice that implied, It's your own fault. "You're a police officer. You shouldn't let her steal from you like that."

"I know, I know," Mike said, settling on a rock station that was playing Guns N Roses' "Welcome to the Jungle." "But I became a police officer to keep the peace, not make waves, and speaking of which, did Chrissie ever get over that tiff from the other day?"

"Yeah, we're good," Race lied.

"Good. I'd hate to think what would happen if you two ever broke it off. I might stop believing in marriage or some shit."

Race smiled. "No, don't do that. Marriage is a beautiful thing."

"You can say that," Mike grumped. "You've got a wife that loves you and trusts you."

Race didn't comment on that. Instead, he said, "You know, Dena is a marriage counselor. She might be able to help you."

"Nah...I think Genna and me are done. She finally served me papers yesterday. It's over."

"I'm sorry, Mike," Race said and he meant it. Mike was a good guy, and he didn't deserve to be treated the way Genna treated him.

"It's alright. I can start dating again, I guess." Mike shrugged, not seeming too excited about that, and Race could sympathize. Being single and dating was all good and dandy when a man was young, but once that small taste of love hit the body's system, it was hard to go back from it.

The two men rode in silence for the rest of the journey, following the rest of the bike club team in a caravan of SUV's and pick up trucks. They entered the city limits of Fayetteville just as the sun peaked over the tree line. It looked to be a nice day for hill training. That was good. Race needed the torture of forcing his muscles to their limits and his brain to exhaustion as he and his club members tackled the steep hills of the Ozark Mountain Range.

Two hours into his bike ride, pumping his legs up Old Missouri Road, peace settled over Race. His lungs burned, his thighs ached, his shoulders were killing him, and he loved it. He felt this way after a night of making love to Chrissie, this consumption of his body, the adrenaline coursing through his veins, the rapid pounding of his heart, the shortness of breath. He needed to feel this way again. To know -- and believe -- in his marriage, as Mike put it. 

Race always coupled Chrissie with an uphill battle. She was energy and a cycle of gasping breaths and weariness. But the thrill of reaching the summit of that steep incline and the cooling breeze as he drifted down the other side made it all worthwhile. The sweetness of her smiles, the melody of her laugh, the radiance of her gazes, the warmth of her gentle touches...all caressed him like the summer wind blowing across his face.

Chrissie...

She would love him again. He'd make sure of that.

"What are you grinning about?" Mike asked when they stopped to walk off the intense ride. The rest of the club followed behind them, a few looking a little worse for wear, but all of them smiling from the ride.

"Just feeling good about things," Race commented and he squeezed electrolytes into his mouth.

"Well, I'm pooped. I think we should turn it around and go circle the lake...something easy for the rest of the morning."

Race mounted his bike. "You go ahead, cleanie boy, and have your tea party. I'll catch up. I want to bag another peak."

"Shit," Mike spit. "I'm coming, too. Can't have you taking a header all by your lonesome." Behind him, a whoop sounded, a groan, and a giggle from their only betty present since Ava was still recouping from her broken leg.

However, by the time noon rolled over, Race was eager to get back home and see how Chrissie's visit with Dr. Gray had gone. Dena went with her today, so he knew he could breathe easy about it. Then he was reminded about Dena's wonderful opinion of the doctor she'd never met, and he got uneasy. Dr. Gray was helping Chrissie, and none of them needed Dena getting involved with her sister's psychiatrist. That had disaster written all over it.

*****

Chrissie was pissed.

And Dena was ecstatic.

"No, no, no, no!" Chrissie yelled at Dena as they left the psychiatrist's clinic. Her session today had been frustrating enough without her sister coming onto Dr. Gray like a five-dollar whore on a Saturday night. 

First of all, going under hypnosis took longer that it should have, as though Chrissie's brain told her to stop looking for things that weren't there. Once she'd finally been relaxed and compliant, her mind refused to give any extra information from the last time. It didn't want to be bothered, and no one could figure out why.

Chrissie had a sneaky suspicion the whole reason for her lack of cooperation was because Race wasn't there. She felt safe when he was around. Not that she didn't feel the same about Dena, but there were parts of her that Dena didn't need to know about. Hence two hours down the drain for nothing. Dr. Gray wanted to schedule a visit with both Dena and Race there. Chrissie wasn't looking forward to it.

"Why not? He's smart and funny and so very sexy," Dena whined. "And I think he likes me."

"I think you need to dip your finger in another pot. I told Mom to stay away from Dr. Newell, and I'm telling you to stay away from Dr. Gray. And he's probably married."

"He's not married. I asked."

"Dena!"

"Dr. Sebastian Gray," Dena sighed dreamily. "Doesn't it have the most wonderful ring to it?"

Chrissie rounded on her sister in the middle of the parking lot. "Listen to me, D. I'm only going to say this once. You..can...not...get...together...with...Dr. Gray! I need him. You'll start dating, and things will go crazy, and then I'll have to find another doctor to see me because I wouldn't be able to face this one. Please...please, I'm begging you! Stay away from him."

Dena huffed and crossed her arms. "Fine, but as soon as you're finished with him, I'm going after him."

Chrissie rolled her eyes. "Why do you have to do these things? Why can't you find a nice man and just have a cup of coffee and be friends? Why do you have to date every man you find attractive?"

Dena grinned. "I don't date every man I find attractive."

"Yeah, whatever," Chrissie muttered, heading toward the car, but she stopped and whirled on Dena, "Wait. What do you mean by that?"

"Oh, nothing," Dena sighed breezily, snatching the keys from Chrissie and unlocking the car doors.

"You did, too, mean something," Chrissie badgered. "What was it?"

Just as Dena was about to slid into the driver's side, Chrissie grabbed her arm and forced her to look at her. "You're talking about Race, aren't you?"

"We've already had the jealousy argument, Chrissie," Dena said. "But yes...lately, I've found him to be very attractive. He's been patient and kind and loving, and I don't know why you're torturing him like you've been doing."

"Torturing him? What have I been doing to torture him?"

"Not accepting him as you husband for one thing," Dena said, putting her fists on her hips. "Even just a little while ago, you still refused to acknowledge a husband."

"I was under hypnosis," Chrissie bit out. "I don't have control of what I say or do then."

"Yes, you do," Dena said. "Hypnosis isn't mind control. You see these people on TV who start acting like ducks because they're told to, but that's not how it really happens. You never lose your self-control, even under hypnosis. If you truly don't want to do it, you won't. And back there, you refused to accept Race as your husband."

"I acknowledge him," Chrissie replied weakly, stepping away from Dena and biting down on her lip.

"You say the words, but you don't really, Chris, and I'm not saying it's wrong or right, but it's probably the one thing you have to overcome."

"D...I..."

"What, Chris?"

Chrissie inhaled steadily. If anything, the breathing exercises were helping tremendously. "I don't like the way I feel sometimes."

Dena's brow furrowed. "Like physically feel...or what?"

"No," Chrissie shook her head, "I'm constantly feeling guilty about stuff, and I don't like it. I don't like how people talk about some things I've done, and I don't like the way Race constantly worries about me and asks me if there's anything wrong when I do something he's not used to. I honestly feel like I used to be a bad person...petty and selfish and hurting people as though I didn't want to realize how I acted. I don't want to be the person in everybody's memory, but then I feel guilty about that, because it's like I'm being selfish and don't want to regain my memories."

Dena listened and pursed her lips. "You are confused," she said simply.

"Very confused," Chrissie sighed. 

Her sister grinned for a second. "So confused you forgot what you told me not to do?"

Chrissie narrowed her eyes. "Not that confused. Stay away from Sebastian Gray."

"Aww! You're no fun."

"Nope...never was," Chrissie replied as she skirted the car to get into the passenger side.

"That's not what Race tells me," Dena sing-songed as she started the engine.

Chrissie smiled. "Yeah, and what does Race tell you about me?"

"Uh huh," Dena said, shaking her head. "You'll have to ask him yourself."

"Like that'll ever happen," Chrissie groaned, feeling tired again after the hypnosis session. It really was exhausting to just lie there and turn her mind and body over to another person.

"Stranger things have happened," Dena said with a grin, "Especially to you.'

"Ha ha. Let's go home. Brian's got the office again today, and I want a nap."