2: Pain and Regrets

I was dying because of the pain I am feeling right now. Every veins inside me felt like tearing apart, every tear I cried was a lava, and every glance of his cold eyes was like a dagger I couldn't avoid. It was just painful, everything was so painful that I was hardly breathing. I can't believe he just threw me away like that. 

"Just accept it, I don't want to hurt you anymore. Go and find the right place for you and never go back." I can't hear him, and I don't understand every word he says. When I saw him walking away from me, all I could think was to go and follow him.

I looked at the sky with my eyes burning fire. "No!" I shouted all the remaining strength in me that it echoed in the whole place. My wolf was in pain. I was in pain. All of them were scared. The moment I stood up on my foot again, that's when someone grabbed me, stabbing me in the back.

The last tears I cried that day was the most painful one, and everything just went black. 

I know I lost the battle once again, and this one is the hardest. 

—————

"Are you ready?" I can feel the nervousness in his voice, but it's still gentle. He never raised his voice at me. 

I gave him my sweet smile as I felt his hands around my waist, leaning his chin on my shoulder.

He was looking at me in the mirror, and I can see how much worry I have cost him.

"I will go back and bring victory, all of us will live in peace after this. Trust me, okay?" He nodded his head, but I know he doesn't want me to go. 

"You don't have to do this. Just let them go, stay by my side please?" That's the last thing he asked me before letting go of my hands. 

This war between packs is unavoidable. I am the leader of the soldiers, and him being the Alpha needs to stay and maintain the rules inside it. I won't let him fight with me, I don't want him to get hurt. I need to protect him at all costs. 

Years ago and I was just his mere right hand but we fell in love with each other. He promised me our future together, and this will be the last time I will go to war before being his wife. 

"Let's get married after this." His voice was pleading, and I can see the sincerity in his eyes. 

"I promise." I smiled and kissed him, that last kiss was the sweetest.

All of the soldiers were waiting for me outside so I already made my way, he said he didn't want to see me off, because he knew I would go back like nothing happened and will continue the life with him. 

But before reaching the outside, Samantha runs towards me. I smiled as I saw my innocent best friend, she was carrying something in her hands that she almost slipped. I like her clumsiness as always. She got more beautiful than the last time I saved her from danger and made her live here with us. I did not realize she would be one of the most important people in my life. 

"Analisse, wait for me!" I waited for her with a smile on my face. I will miss this girl.

"Why so hurry? You know I will not go until I see you, right?" I asked her. She nodded and gave me her ever sweet smile. 

"Here, drink this. It can give you energy. Promise me that you will go back here safe and sound, okay? I will wait for you," she told me. I took what she gave me and drank it without any hesitation. She lives in the forest for so many years so she learns how to make different herbs and medicine. She has been the acting doctor of the pack ever since, many love her. 

"Take care of them okay? Especially Argus, for me." I told her. She smiled and nodded her head.

"You don't need to remind me, I will do that. Don't worry about us but promise to take care of yourself. I will miss you!" She got teary eyes so I needed to hug her tight.

"I promise to all the deities out there. I will go back and see you again."

A tear comes running down my face after opening my eyes. I did not expect that being in here would bring back the memories I had before. It was just a dream but it always felt like it was just yesterday. 

If I could go back in time, I wish I never left. 

A stingy pain started making my whole body ache, especially my back when I tried going up. I thought I was dead. 

"H-Hey, what are you feeling?" I heard Rose' voice. I bit my lips when I saw her lying her head at the edge of the wooden bed. She was here with me the whole time, I guess. I don't know what to feel. Rose is the only person who did not turn her back at me until now. 

"Pain. All I could feel was pain." I told her. I don't want to bother her much but I can't lie either.

"I-I'm sorry… if I only saw what she's doing that time, maybe I could stop her," she said. I frown after hearing her.

"What are you saying?" I asked between sobs.

"Samantha. I know she did all of this to get my brother and to lure you out of the pack. She took advantage of what she had at that time, of what you gave her. Freedom." I smiled bitterly after hearing that.

I thought Samantha was just really that innocent girl I saved from the dark woods. I never thought she would do such a thing, like how those eyes looked at Argus that time. I did not know she liked him more than her brother. Remembering what I have done to her, it's not easy to understand why she did this to me. 

"And…" My thoughts went back to reality when Rose spoke again. She was looking at me, and was skeptical. 

"What is it?" I asked. I tried my best making myself strong for whatever it is. 

She took a deep breath before saying those words that once again broke my heart.

"I think they were planning to kill you."