I felt my breath hitch at every step he took, as I moved back slowly until my right leg hit a desk. I looked into his eyes trying to be courageous but the truth is that my legs have turned to jelly as they could lose their stance anytime soon.
I could not analyze what he was going to do but the only thing that came to my uneasy mind was that he was going to slap me hard. The thought that he is muscular gives me creeps as it won't take any stress for him to beat me up, especially in an empty class with just three of us.
I unexpectedly felt his warm hands around my waist as he engulfed me in his arms. I tried to think of ' a million reasons why he was hugging me this tight but I could not think straight. I felt my whole body on him, his cologne smearing my nose, as his breath fanned my ear making me tensed
"You judge a lot, don't you? you should learn not to judge a book by its cover," he whispered and released me gently.
I held my chest as I sat on a desk behind me, looking at his fading figure as he stepped outside. I tried to balance my breathing pace by releasing my mouth for more air. I turned abruptly to see Gloria resting her head on the desk.
I heaved a sigh of relief knowing Gloria did not happen to see the little drama Ethan pulled off earlier. I rested as I sat down thinking about the whole scenario, guilt eating me up slowly. I should not have slapped him, it was wrong on my part. This would be the second time I will slap making me wonder why am I an angry bird all of a sudden?
I have always been a gentle fellow but whenever I am around him, I do the opposite. I get angry even at the slightest mistake he makes and I do not know why.
"Maybe you are afraid of falling for him," my subconscious said as I scoffed inwardly invading the stupid thought of mine.
I like his company but any other thing is a counterfeit, "I thought. I do not like what is happening to me. I feel remorseful, maybe I should apologize.
I turned my gaze back to Gloria who was beginning to raise her head. Her eyes all red, she must have cried her sockets out. I moved closer to her, I need more information about this situation.
" Gloria, what was the distraction about?"I asked
"Let me start with the fact that I once told Ethan some of my secrets during a truth and dare game we played on Facebook. I told him I had a crush on Khaleed and also told him my fear. I told him I feel down whenever I see something related to failure or name-calling," Gloria started as another round of tears made their way to her face.
I facepalmed myself at how easily swayed Gloria was, especially in trusting Ethan so easily. Khaleed is Ethan's buddy, so there is every tendency for Ethan to tell Khaleed about how Gloria was crushing on him. That must have led to them making a plan to distract Gloria, but how? I tried to comfort Gloria, as I stopped asking questions. Thankfully, she calmed down and comported herself.
To cut the long story short, Ethan, Paul, Khaleed, and Quadri were found guilty of playing a stupid stunt in the hall, during the debate. They brought cardboards with different inscriptions like 'You are a failure, fuck you, speechless, moron. They raised it discreetly during the debate and Gloria saw those words making her lose concentration.
"Michael, the four of them would be serving their punishment in the school farm. We have about 3 hours to the end of the school closing time. Make sure they weed the school farm and pack them," Mr. Williams said before turning to face the boys.
" I am lenient with you because we are close to the end of the session. The next time you try something as degrading as this, you will be in trouble. Apologize to Gloria," he ordered as they all apologize to Gloria.
*****
We made our way towards the school farm with each one of them holding a cutlass in their hands. I carried a chair with a novel in my hand as I walked behind, side by side with Quadri.
I was asked to monitor them, so I will just check on them at intervals. I just need to find a tree where I can settle down and read this novel peacefully, but I still need to figure out something first.
I pulled Quadri, who wore a frown on his face, as a smirk almost made a way to my lips.
"What is it again? You have already shown your hero power by landing all of us here even though only three of us are guilty," he said as he continued walking.
I walked faster to catch up with him, as I was left speechless with the revelation.
"What do you mean by three of you guys?" I asked unsure of what he said.
He stopped working and sighed.
"Khaleed brought up the idea of pranking Gloria, Paul and I concurred to it even though we weren't sure it would work. Ethan tried to stop us from raising the cardboards containing those lewd words and in the process, he was caught smiling. Gloria must have thought Ethan was behind it making him the prime suspect. Don't ask me how we did the prank, we have our ways. Adios," he said as he joined the others, leaving me startled, my mouth hanging.
That means Ethan was not the one that caused the distraction, but there is a high possibility that he revealed some things about Gloria's weaknesses to Khaleed, so he is still guilty. He should have stopped or reported them to the school authority. I do not think I should apologize to him, maybe it is the best thing for us not to be friends again. I am also afraid of what my subconscious said. I am currently living a peaceful life, and admiring Ethan would be a disaster for me,' I thought, laying a conclusion to my contemplation.
They all started weeding under the hot sun, which makes one's throat itch for cold water. I found a shed under the tree as I was busy reading a novel titled "All-Around The Town". It was almost an hour when I heard Quadri's voice.
" Hero, we are busy working here but you are reading a novel. If you cannot even assist us, tell us what the novel is about, hopefully, it would be interesting", he said with beads of sweat all over his face.
"Well, the book is about Laurie who was kidnapped at a young age but was recovered later. Not long after, she started developing alter personalities like five people in her. One timid, the other brave, a young boy, so on and so forth. In a quest to help prove her innocence in the death of a professor, she has to cooperate with her sister," I explained even though I was not yet through with its reading. I cannot wait for more secrets to unfold.
"Alter personalities? Like seriously? The same way you have two personalities, with one showcasing physically and the other secretly," he spat out and they all burst into laughter except Ethan who kept a normal face. My face turned grim with embarrassment at how straightforward he was with his words.
"Our hero does not even know anything about football. I doubt if he even knows any football player. Always with books, with a boring lifestyle. Hero, you should enjoy life a bit, maybe play football," Quadri mocked again as they all burst into another round of laughter.
I need to teach Quadri some lessons, just because I am effeminate or a nerd does not mean I do not know anything about sports.
I made my way toward them, a plan on my head.
"Quadri, do you want to dare me in regards to football areas?", I said
" Oh, our hero wants to save the date, okay na. I dare you to mention five football players from two different clubs, making them a total of 10. Khaled, take this 500 naira. If he gets it, you should give him the 500 naira, but if he does not, he will replace me with the weeding or pay 500 naira," he said, handing over the money to Khaleed.
"Do you agree?" Khaleed asks, turning to face me.
AUTHOR POINT OF VIEWI want to use this opportunity to thank all of my readers. It has been a long journey writing this book(my first book), all thanks to your reads and ever-supportive reviews.This book has shown different stages on how attraction for the same-sex might set in, as well as how society condemns it. Michael was a great male lead as he decided to control his feelings rather than give in to them.When I wanted to write this book, a question came to my mind. "Why are they gay people as well as lesbians?"I did my research realizing that feelings toward the same sex might start to set in due to involuntary sexual arousal(which is normal).So I thought of writing a book about how a character would be attracted to the same sex but control those feelings. I made Michael go through different stages, to self-discovery and assuring himself he is not gay, not until he involves himself in
EPILOGUEI've gone too far to give up nowJust put a bandage on those scarsThere's no need to be held by failureYou can beat all of the oddsAnd if you feel under pressureScared beyond measureLost a close treasureYou've got to rememberYou're not what they call youCan't limit yourself to whatPeople tell youYou're the final word
Every day seems like a passing phase. Every moment is like a good time. Ever since my last talk with Chris and Phil, I am yet to make a decision. It seems suffocating thinking of what to go for, especially with a bitter feeling in the pit of my stomach.One of my thoughts ended up being against what my body is craving for. I always find myself asking questions. If I eventually am with Phil, will I be happy? What if I remain single and this weird feeling keeps persisting? How will I even figure out the right thing to go for?I looked at the streets with the simmering of light as Phil draped his hand on my shoulder. Anytime I try to tell him to stop trying to be always with me, he becomes sad. In as much as I want him to be back with Senior Joy, he was able to get what I was trying to do.I don't know what is happening to me. I no longer feel those butterflies in my Tommy, anxiety, and nervousness never creep
It would have been a worse scenario for me if I continued to feel the pleasure, but it stopped. My body became numb, as I closed my eyes, the imaginations of Joseph's attempt to rape me crept into my mind.I felt a surge of power as I pushed Phil away."I can't do this. I can't. It is an immoral act", my voice started shaking as tears glimmered in my eyes.I could feel the surprised look on Phil as his gaze was on me. He groaned, then hissed before moving closer to me." Are you okay?", he asked with concern as I nodded."Are you sure you don't want to do this? We both like each other, don't we?", he tried to reassure but I could not help but feel a bitter taste on my tongue." I don't want to get carried away by temporary pleasure. I know you are probably angry but I can't seem to keep off my mind from how we will both feel after having sex. I can't do this. God condemns such act", I said, my mind r
It has been over three weeks with Phil. It has not been an easy one, especially with asking for forgiveness from those he had greatly hurt or done something bad to. So happy that the five people we went to forgave him, tho it took time.It was not easy. Some took days before they forgave Phil. That of Senior Joy and Kevin took a day but the others were like hard nuts to crack. Forgiveness does not mean forgetting, but letting go of the hurt. That is obvious from those set of people Phil offended.*****I could not help but beam with a smile as I covered the lid of the cooler container containing the melon soup. I packed it in a small bag, alongside some wraps of pounded yam.Getting outside the kitchen only to meet Chris glancing at me."Ahem, why the stare?", I asked, trying to act calmly without giving away my real mood." Why do I feel you are guilty of something?", Chris asked, munc
It was just as if I was reading the book of Revelation. Philip got entangled with bad friends, who brought him nothing but trouble. He joined the cultist against his will but under the influence of alcohol and drugs.He was forced to do his first assignment or the one closest to his heart will suffer the consequences. He yielded, afraid of facing to see his loved ones dead.Phil turned his head, his eyes red, full of regrets and pain. I felt my heart heavy, as I tried to remain strong at least for him. He needs to let it all out. I also need to know his final decision(s)."I wept that very day, my heart feeling like sinking. I betrayed the trust and love between Joy and me to save her and my foster parents. Trust me when I say that the cult leader meant it as I have seen proof of how he causes the death of other people without even thinking. Most importantly, no traces tend to link to any of his apprentices in this evil