Just thinking about the whole scenario between Rachael and me kept me in a state I cannot decipher. 'I WILL BE LEAVING,' those words of her's only brought many questions to my mind. I felt as if a load was on my body the moment she spilled those words.
I could not help but fake a smile after she told me she would be leaving Beatitude College after our 3rd term. She is going for G.C.E( GENERAL CERTIFICATE EXAMINATION),( an examination that can be sought for admission into higher education,)which after getting a good result would be used for her higher education.
I only wish her all the best even though 99℅ part of me kept hoping she does not leave soon. She is one in a million, someone with tolerance, love, patience, and intelligence. She alongside Joshua and Gloria has made my stay here at Beatitude less stressful and more memorable for me.
*******
After the 3rd term examination, we were chosen for a debate competition the school arranged. In my group, we have Gloria, Ethan, and one SSS1 student named Joana. Only two people are to participate at a time.
Gloria and Ethan are not making things easy for me as Gloria kept insisting that Ethan must either be the Chief speaker or Assistant speaker in the first or second round of the debate competition. On the other hand, Ethan refuted it for quite unreasonable reasons.
I saw Gloria's angry look as she stepped into the class. I rolled my eyes, breathing in and out, knowing fully well she is coming to report to me.
"Can you believe what that rascal said? He said he would not come to school if I keep disturbing him about participating in the debate," Gloria said on an irritating note.
"It seems you have a crush on him, maybe you want to be closer to him during the debate competition," I stated jokingly, maybe to ease the tension a little.
I glanced at Gloria, whose face flared up as she glared at me, which made me realize I made a mistake with that silly joke. She released her breath, making her hand form into a fist.
"Yuck, I will not even dream about it especially with someone like that rascal. You can say something else so that I will agree to it, but this is a NO-NO," she stated firmly.
I told her I will see to the situation, after which she calmed down. It was not up to a minute after Gloria kept her cool that Ethan stormed into the class with that 'fake angry look', plastered on his face. It is quite a surprise our friendship is on a good one after that moment we shared at the library.
The rascal Ethan, as I would put it stated that he would not participate in the debate competition. I moved closer to him, as I held his right ear tightly, which he squirmed too.
"Ouch, please stop holding my ear," he pleaded as I released my grip lightly.
"But you can place your palm on my face," he smirked
I withdrew my hand placing it gently on his shoulder, my eyes meeting with his.
"I would be honored to slap you, maybe it will help reset your brain," I said as he quickly moved back a little, turning his head in a 'no' reply.
"Ahem.., when you guys are done with your drama, can you look into the situation, please?
I turned to face Gloria, as my face flushed lightly.
"Ethan does not want to take part in the debate, which I am not in support of," Gloria stated, glaring slightly at Ethan.
I tried to think of a way out of this little palava(problem), as an idea crept into my mind.
"Well, we all have to participate since we are four, we should all take part," I announced with my eyes scanning both of them.
Ethan held my arms almost making me fall, as I tried to balance.
"I cannot do this, I do not like giving talks in public," he said pleadingly. Is this the great Ethan?', I could not help but laugh in my mind as he looked like someone in distress. Oh, I forgot, he is in a distress zone, he can't give a debate.
Gloria had a lewd smile as she placed her hands akimbo.
"Not bad Ethan. You can display your rascal behavior in the public like 'a peacock' displaying his colors during courtship behavior, unstabilized fellow," Gloria mocked and Ethan glared at her giving her the 'I will deal with you later eye'.
It took me my self-control not to burst into laughter as I kept watching the drama unfold. Silence erupted as they both glared at each other.
"Can you please calm down? I am not through yet," I declared as they both look sideways.
"Since Ethan probably has a problem with giving a public talk, we cannot force him. He would just have to prepare some meaningful points for the debate. He must not be absent from school during the debate competition too," I said.
"Woah, I love that idea Michael, at least someone would not have any other choice than to accept," Gloria said icily.
My head turned in the direction of Ethan, hoping he would be pleased with the solution only to see him in a disheveled look.
"I cannot do this. Where do you expect me to get the points from? Ethan lamented with a frown on his face.
" You do have a phone, don't you? Then google it out and write it. Do not force me to take some measures regarding this. I am pretty sure Mr. Williams would be delighted to hear about it," I said sternly, wondering why he is such a strong head.
"Alright, you won. I will try. I am only doing this because of you, and not because of some pests," he replied as I breathe in a sigh of relief that everything is finally solved.
"So Joana would be my assistant for the first round of the debate and I will be the Chief speaker," I announced as I left the class leaving them to continue their bickering.
I sighted Rachael at the side of the window, her head down probably reading something from a paper as her hand curled perfectly around the small size pen, jotting down some things.
She is the team leader of another group for the debate competition. For the first round, they would be debating against Junior Team 1.
While my group would be against Junior Team 2. I moved closer to her as she looked up gently, a warm smile across her lips.
"Oyedele, perfect timing. I hope you do not mind checking out my points for some minutes," she said as she stretched the paper to me. There is nothing bad in checking, at least her team is not against mine,' I thought, collecting the paper from her.
My eyes scrutinized the paper as I got to know about their topic which is:'It is better to attend a Mixed School than to attend a Single School,' while ours is: 'Government work is better than entrepreneurship(which we are to support).
The topic was written in papers, well folded as each team leader will choose from. Whatever the topic is, either on the opposing or supporting side should be prepared by the group.
I began reading the points as I smiled broadly at her excellent points not until I saw a particular point bringing a conflicted mood within me.
'Almost every Secondary school Students are in their puberty stage. At this stage, they tend to develop some feelings toward the opposite sex. Feelings like crush or infatuation are bound to happen, which are normal and acceptable. On a contrary, in a single school, such kinds of teen feelings can be developed towards the same sex which is totally against society's view.
If such feelings which happen to be a new one against their hormones are developed, homosexual acts would be very rampant. Even if it is not displayed openly, would be done in the secret'.
My mind kept beating fast as I felt somehow shallow, my head spinning fast.
AUTHOR POINT OF VIEWI want to use this opportunity to thank all of my readers. It has been a long journey writing this book(my first book), all thanks to your reads and ever-supportive reviews.This book has shown different stages on how attraction for the same-sex might set in, as well as how society condemns it. Michael was a great male lead as he decided to control his feelings rather than give in to them.When I wanted to write this book, a question came to my mind. "Why are they gay people as well as lesbians?"I did my research realizing that feelings toward the same sex might start to set in due to involuntary sexual arousal(which is normal).So I thought of writing a book about how a character would be attracted to the same sex but control those feelings. I made Michael go through different stages, to self-discovery and assuring himself he is not gay, not until he involves himself in
EPILOGUEI've gone too far to give up nowJust put a bandage on those scarsThere's no need to be held by failureYou can beat all of the oddsAnd if you feel under pressureScared beyond measureLost a close treasureYou've got to rememberYou're not what they call youCan't limit yourself to whatPeople tell youYou're the final word
Every day seems like a passing phase. Every moment is like a good time. Ever since my last talk with Chris and Phil, I am yet to make a decision. It seems suffocating thinking of what to go for, especially with a bitter feeling in the pit of my stomach.One of my thoughts ended up being against what my body is craving for. I always find myself asking questions. If I eventually am with Phil, will I be happy? What if I remain single and this weird feeling keeps persisting? How will I even figure out the right thing to go for?I looked at the streets with the simmering of light as Phil draped his hand on my shoulder. Anytime I try to tell him to stop trying to be always with me, he becomes sad. In as much as I want him to be back with Senior Joy, he was able to get what I was trying to do.I don't know what is happening to me. I no longer feel those butterflies in my Tommy, anxiety, and nervousness never creep
It would have been a worse scenario for me if I continued to feel the pleasure, but it stopped. My body became numb, as I closed my eyes, the imaginations of Joseph's attempt to rape me crept into my mind.I felt a surge of power as I pushed Phil away."I can't do this. I can't. It is an immoral act", my voice started shaking as tears glimmered in my eyes.I could feel the surprised look on Phil as his gaze was on me. He groaned, then hissed before moving closer to me." Are you okay?", he asked with concern as I nodded."Are you sure you don't want to do this? We both like each other, don't we?", he tried to reassure but I could not help but feel a bitter taste on my tongue." I don't want to get carried away by temporary pleasure. I know you are probably angry but I can't seem to keep off my mind from how we will both feel after having sex. I can't do this. God condemns such act", I said, my mind r
It has been over three weeks with Phil. It has not been an easy one, especially with asking for forgiveness from those he had greatly hurt or done something bad to. So happy that the five people we went to forgave him, tho it took time.It was not easy. Some took days before they forgave Phil. That of Senior Joy and Kevin took a day but the others were like hard nuts to crack. Forgiveness does not mean forgetting, but letting go of the hurt. That is obvious from those set of people Phil offended.*****I could not help but beam with a smile as I covered the lid of the cooler container containing the melon soup. I packed it in a small bag, alongside some wraps of pounded yam.Getting outside the kitchen only to meet Chris glancing at me."Ahem, why the stare?", I asked, trying to act calmly without giving away my real mood." Why do I feel you are guilty of something?", Chris asked, munc
It was just as if I was reading the book of Revelation. Philip got entangled with bad friends, who brought him nothing but trouble. He joined the cultist against his will but under the influence of alcohol and drugs.He was forced to do his first assignment or the one closest to his heart will suffer the consequences. He yielded, afraid of facing to see his loved ones dead.Phil turned his head, his eyes red, full of regrets and pain. I felt my heart heavy, as I tried to remain strong at least for him. He needs to let it all out. I also need to know his final decision(s)."I wept that very day, my heart feeling like sinking. I betrayed the trust and love between Joy and me to save her and my foster parents. Trust me when I say that the cult leader meant it as I have seen proof of how he causes the death of other people without even thinking. Most importantly, no traces tend to link to any of his apprentices in this evil