Reclaiming Him

ERIC:

Lucas had gone back to the house after days of convincing me to return with him, but I didn’t budge. Erica had returned to Leonard’s to make him fall in love with her. And me? I’m still in the hotel bed, breathing…just breathing.

It was hard to know what step to take next—whether to call Erica and confess my true feelings or let Leonard go, as I had wanted to do days ago. Last sight or not, farewell kiss or not, if I truly wanted an end, I should be handling Erica’s confession well instead of draining the air out of myself.

My life is slipping away with the thought of Erica succeeding in winning Leonard over. It’s easy to imagine. Leonard is straight, and with Erica, a replica of me, he might settle. And with that fire in Erica’s voice and eyes, she’s determined to prove her feelings. She will prevail. I have seen Erica in love before…she could be adorable, fierce, submissive, and sacrificial.

There’s nothing left for me here. It’s time I return to Panila. Time to face my life, with or without uncovering the truth about our birth. Time to deal with my emotions.

By the way, Erica came back with breaking news. She had met my mother during the trip. What a shocking coincidence. But after she declared ownership over Leonard, I hardly paid attention to the details. All I know is that she and my mother talked, and she got an exciting clue to continue searching into our birth mystery.

My mother hadn’t known about us before their fated meeting. It was our agreed decision to tell no one. I hadn’t told my mum. Erica hadn’t told anyone. Before coming to Sierra, I only told my mother I was taking a long trip with Lucas. Since it was with Lucas, she didn’t worry. Anything with him is safe and secure.

I knew meeting Erica would be a shock. If my mother hadn’t known about us, she might have collapsed. She must have called me afterwards. But how would I know? I haven’t spoken to her in ages. I’ve been avoiding her calls. All she talks about lately is job vacancies she finds in Sierra, urging me to apply. Or worst option…to go on blind dates she lines up.

I haven’t only ignored my mother’s call. I’ve also ignored Lucas, Erica, and even Bernard, who hasn’t stopped calling since our breakup.

Well, they’ve done it. They’ve finally pushed me to the limit. I don’t want to ignore their calls anymore, I don’t want to exist in the same city with them. I’m done with this borrowed life.

After a week of solitude in the hotel, I went home, packing my things the moment I arrived.

“You need to think this through,” Lucas whispered behind me. “Leaving isn’t the best thing to do.”

I dropped the last pair of pants into my bag and turned to him. “What’s the best thing, then? To compete with Erica for Leonard? To tell Leonard the woman he might have fallen for is a man? Or to admit Lucia is Eric, the same Eric who countlessly slept with his best friend?”

“That's all you should do.”

I scoffed. Suddenly weak to the bones. Lucas wasn’t here with me. He either didn’t understand or refused to understand. I was disappointed he thought my situation was so simple and fixable.

I zipped my bag. “You coming?” My voice cracked.

When I said I didn’t want to exist in the same city with anyone anymore, Lucas wasn’t included. I couldn’t imagine my life without him. However, I knew he’d been hiding a lot from me, things that might keep him from wanting to follow me to Panila.

“Lucas?” I asked again when he stayed silent, broken and afraid.

“I can’t…go.”

“Why? Why do you want to stay?”

“It’s…” He swallowed hard, his voice guilty. “I’m not done with the mission.”

“The mission can collapse into the abyss for all I care. It’s my life too, but I’m done with it. Don’t you get it? I want it behind me. I want it forgotten. There’s nothing left for me here…for us. We need to go.”

“There’s so much for me,” he murmured.

“Lucas?”

“Eric,” he said flatly. “I still think you should stay. But if you insist on going, you will be doing it without me.”

Our eyes locked. His were cold, even as tears burned in mine. I saw his decision. I saw his plans without me. My heart crashed. Yet, I didn’t want to lose my best friend, too.

“What’s going on?” I whispered.

“A lot,” he affirmed without hesitation. “A lot since you were focused on Leonard and Bernard, leaving me bored and lonely.”

“Lucas…”

“I found love. I’m in love. And I’m not running away from it like you.”

The tears finally fell as I slumped onto the bed.

I had been terrible. To everyone. To Lucas. Selfish and inattentive. I was blind to see he was falling in love as well…not just me.

Lucas came to Sierra because of me. Here, he did everything for me. He gave me his attention, noticed when my feelings for Leonard grew, when I became confused about Bernard. Without me saying a word, he saw through me because he was focused on me.

Quietly, he sat beside me. Silence stretched between us for what felt like forever.

“I’m terrible,” I finally said.

“You are.”

“I’m sorry.”

“…”

Silence again. Shorter, lighter.

“Who?” I asked. He shifted nervously. “No, Lucas. Don’t tell me you’ve fallen in love with me.”

“Gross.”

He muttered, and I smiled. He smiled too.

Lucas would never fall in love with me. Not just because he was bloody straight, but because I don’t know who between us would dominate if we decided.

“It’s Erica,” he breathed.

But I heard it. I heard him. “Erica?!”

“Do you have to scream the absurdity that loud?”

“I…I’m shocked.”

“I haven’t recovered from mine.”

It made sense now. His obsession with watching her wasn’t only an addiction. He was in love.

We must both be brave and stupid—to fall for people way out of our league. I fell for a straight man, and he fell for a woman who never looked at nerds twice. Brilliant. Absolutely brilliant.

“What are you going to do?” I asked.

“I don’t know. But I’m not leaving Sierra.”

I swallowed my nerves. “Erica is after Leonard.”

“Leonard is not after her,” he said firmly, meeting my gaze. “He doesn’t want her. He won’t want her now.”

A lump formed in my throat, but Lucas gripped my arm before I could swallow it.

“Leonard wants you, Eric,” he said. “You want him, too. I still suggest you stay. If you don’t want to, do it for me. Take back your man and free Erica.”

Isn’t my life a sequence? I came to Sierra for Erica, to keep Leonard distracted. And now? I might stay in Sierra for Lucas…to claim Leonard completely.