Not His

Days have gone by since the clearing and I’ve mostly tried to keep a distance between Xander and i.

Trying to not make things harder for myself.

I walked through the halls, looking around to see if I could spot Xander anywhere.

So that I could move in the opposite direction.

When I turned the corner, I hit something hard face first, making me drop all my stuff.

The scent made it very obvious who it was.

“Dawn you ok?” I looked directly into those green eyes.

Eyes that reminded me of home.

I felt the sparks on my back and noticed that Xander had caught me before I could fall.

Making sure I was ok. Always being a hero.

I nodded in response to his question, picking up my stuff.

He came down onto his knees to help. His eyes, however, never leaving me.

Even when I tried to look away, it was hard to not notice him staring.

As he passed over my items.

I was about to take it, but he didn’t let go, making me look up at him in question.

“I was hoping we could meet up after school?” he asked.

“I’m busy,” I said coldly.

“then after that?” he raised his brow in question.

"Still busy”, I said, grabbing my things and leaving.

I didn’t want to be this cold.

But it was better to keep away for the time being, to make things easier when the rejection would come along.

Tomorrow would be his birthday. So I had a lot of preparing to do before then. Heart-wrenching preparations.

After school, I stayed in class for a while, getting in some extra studies as I avoid Xander.

When the sun started shining through the window, I knew it was getting late. And the sun would set soon.

So I packed my stuff and made my way home.

Replaying the last week’s events.

Reminiscing about what life could’ve been like had things worked out better.

Had my father had never done what he did. If only I was good enough.

“Dawn,” I heard my name being called by a familiar voice.

I looked up to see Xander leaning against the pillar of my home’s porch, waiting for me.

I stood still, frozen like a deer in headlights.

Xander walked up to me while he scratched the back of his head, clearly nervous.

“I’m sorry for the other day. I shouldn’t have...” he hinted at our kiss.

Part of me was hurt, feeling like I was some sort of mistake.

But deep down, I knew he was right. We never should’ve crossed that line.

“It’s okay,” I said, barely audible.

I looked down at the ground, unable to maintain eye contact with him as my heart shattered in my chest.

He crouched down slightly to look me in the eyes.

“To make it up to you, dinner’s on me,” he said, flashing a bright smile.

Confused, I looked at him.

“What?” I asked.

“I’m taking you out for dinner. Your mom already said it’s fine,” he explained, his smile slightly lessening.

Tears welled up in my eyes as I realized the complexity of our situation.

“We can’t do this, Xander,” I said, my voice trembling.

He seemed determined not to let this ruin our friendship.

“Don’t worry, it’s just a friend date,” he assured me, walking towards the direction of the pack hall.

“Just two good old friends having dinner alone. Nothing weird,” he continued.

Today would probably be our last day as friends, so I decided to make the most of it.

I laughed and followed him, curious to see where this would lead.

He led me to a table on a private balcony, hidden from prying eyes by tinted glass.

The balcony was adorned with beautiful fairy lights, creating a magical and romantic ambiance.

We sat and talked the night away, joking about Amanda and her group, and reminiscing about our childhood.

It felt like old times.

As the conversation turned more serious, Xander asked,

“What do you hope for in your mate?” My heart ached, for I wanted him to be my mate.

. But reality set in, reminding me of the damage Amanda had caused over the years.

“I want him to be strong and protective. But I also want him to be kind and loving. Oh and handsome would be a bonus,” I replied, laughter mingling with sadness.

There was something on Xander’s face, a mix of happiness and frustration.

Curiosity got the better of me, and I couldn’t help but ask,

“And you? What do you hope for in your dream mate?”

He seemed lost in thought for a moment, contemplating his answer.

“I would like her to be humble, caring, and strong. Someone who would make a great Luna,” he said quietly.

The realization hit me hard.

I was neither strong nor fit to be a Luna, and I couldn’t let him be burdened by my shortcomings.

But for now, we enjoyed each other’s company, cherishing the moments we had left as friends.

Little did he know that the truth would soon come out, and rejection would follow.

“oh and beautiful would be a bonus” he added and we laughed once again. although this time round, I faked it.

this time round, I knew I wasn’t the mate he wanted and needed.