Breaths. Hard breaths. Cold. Perilously frigid. Holding onto the wheel of the boat,a houseboat to be exact, I held onto dear life of mine. My idea was to add an adventure in the list of romantic escapades with Serena. Never in a traumatic history, did I ever sought a possibility of becoming the victim of a maddening rush of water in the boat hanging our lives at the brim of the sinking boat. It has turned upside down. When I'd hired it earlier in the morning, I'd imagined myself proposing marriage to Serena on the deck surrounded by water on all sides with orchids and roses blooming inside the cabin. A fresh start to our relationship in the presence of the most vital element of life after clarifying our box of misunderstanding. I had bought an engagement ring for her which was secure in my pants pockets, until I felt it slipping out in the river and the red velvet box vanished away. The captain is supporting my lower body by entangling his legs with mine. I watched him struggle to
'If death were to touch one of us, why wasn't it me?' I stared at the body or it peered at me, the pupils of John's eyes had gone red. The marine life shielded him, beginning to find their meal in the man who had been more than an anchor. Nothing made sense from there because my decision has led to the death of an innocent, once again. What difference does my cursed existence make now? The venomous hold Carolina's words have had on me have done more damage and my efforts to sustain a normal life are becoming futile. I breathed in bubbles as the water began to enter my lungs or I allowed it to enter my body on purpose for there's no meaning to my life anymore. "John…," a shockwave struck me and my lips whispered his name automatically. It was the sound of defeat. Despite knowing I can't bring him back to life, I tread in the water with my mind shutting out the world like it did when I lost my family. He was no less than a family; he was an elder brother who'd chosen to bring healing t
My heart has suffered losses uncountable and my eyes have seen deaths horrific than that of Carrie's. Maybe, that's an exaggeration of what I think has perspired throughout these years but the scene infront of my eyes, made me want to hide behind the pillar and cry. We returned to Manhattan in the night, and currently stood at John's home facing his family who looked at me with questions swirling in their teary orbs. "I am sorry for your loss," in a faint voice, I started, bowing my head infront of his wife, paying my respect as well as support at this grieving hour. "What did he do to deserve this departure?" Mrs. Cavelli, who was a tall, lean yet firm women, asked in a shaking whisper. We've been standing at her apartment door for about half and hour, and she and her girls are staring at John's body unmoving. Tears cascaded from their eyes, and I don't know how else to describe this other than: forlorn figures aiming to mourn yet couldn't for they seek the truth of the staggering n
Funerals were a thing of past; it has been relatively a long time since I attended one or even thought about what to say on such a traditional ceremony. As I put on the suit, and began to knot my tie, I remembered Mrs. Cavelli asked me to speak a few words in honour of John while we were leaving her apartment last night. I was startled with her request because who in their right minds would want the cause of their misery to be the man who bids farewell to her beloved husband? A tribute! Oh, fuck me, Lord! But again, she's a Cavelli, being with John might have had tremendous impact on her. I could say this with confirmation for he's changed me inside and out or that's how I see the reality of my situation. There's a sign of guilt seeping upwards from my gut to my heart and kidnapping me for a vicious setback. All things aside, today isn't about me but the Cavelli family yet I can't push aside this gnawing pain of having a part in ending the story of my friendly therapist. I wished for h
'Being betrayed can be the greatest curse and yet a blessing served on an island of free stay.' A musing embraced me as I gauged Serena's expression keenly then I have ever examined her. She looked at me with her brows furrowing and compressing. This activity of hers continued for more than thirty seconds and I felt like her child whom she caught of stealing a candy. In the history of our lives, Serena and I have shared obscene and quirky moments even embarassing and edgy. Today, it was close to a deadly sentence for she came across that one side of mine, I wouldn't have given her access to in this lifetime we called ours to celebrate and love. You're unusually not in a mood to converse, are you?" I queried breaking the heaviness in between us which might be expanding greater than my expectation. She inhaled and exhaled probably comprehending the situation ahead in her head or composing her feelings for me in her heart before painting me as an assassin. "I am afraid the conversation
The ride to the graveyard was sweaty and tense; my hold on the steering wheel tightened as I accelerated on dripping streets of New York. The city caught under the thunderbolt, the crowd strode in colorful raincoats, some walking under the umbrella, and others taking shade wherever they could yet their faces confounded with varied emotions. The ones I might know but not experience in the current scenarios; or the peace, which never reaches my eyes even if that's the only thing I want most. I side glanced at Serena who was busy tapping on her cellphone. I peeped a glance and spotted her chatting on the group of restaurant. "Are you discussing about the wedding feast to be held after two days? I have suggestions to make," I pitched in an authoritative and affirmative manner. Serena swivelled her head to my side, eyed me with apprehension before she got back to her activity. I didn't probed her further but she herself established, "Your area of expertise is more of finance and less of
The sadness has convoluted the barn and I was left alone breathing in the hole. It's the perpetrators trick to exact her impending revenge on me, driving me to the edge of madness where I, would break the code of swallowing my psychological temperament and give into the temptations. A murderous craving to pour the blood of the remnant of my past. It didn't seem the past for it stood in its glory to wrench me out of my body and throw me in the cave of darkness to relive a life without love, without my child and without that soothing touch of romance.
Patience wasn't my strong forte as far as I have analyzed myself in therapy sessions. With my troubling relationship and life, I learnt to practice tiny bit of it with the help of Serena who had been my rock, and the only time an enormous amount of rage has consumed me was when I felt that I have lost everything for worse. Right now, gazing at Mrs. Cavelli's accusatory face, I am succumbing into the cycle of venomous detestation for the lady who I admired until last night. It took one report for her to flip sides and to place me under a legal scanner of attempt to murder. How life swings in a few hours is really a story to write and read; for now, I opted to pay attention to the funeral ceremony. The Graveyard has gone abruptly silent after my outburst. Those white hairy men and women looked at me with their mouths agape, Serena and Nathan stood there speechless to even show a reaction. Putting an end to the discussion or my public assassination, Mrs. Cavelli asked the priest to start