Kabanata 17.1

I never have thought that someone aside from my parents could hurt me. Even without words, the thing I saw was enough to enhance my pain. The painful, suffocating feeling as if someone is punching me in the heart. I cannot believe that he can do that to me. 

We don't have a label– yes, but I trusted him because he told me that he likes me. He said that he will court me. That should be an enough reason to be committed to me. Maiintindihan ko naman kung sasabihin niya sa akin, papayag ako na tumigil siya na manligaw pero bakit ginawa pa niya iyon habang ngumingiti sa akin at sinasabing kukulitin niya ako sa panliligaw niya? 

Wala akong ganang pumasok ngayon. Ayaw ko talaga kaya lang ay wala naman akong idadahilan at gagawin sa dorm. 

I took deep breaths. I don't want to face him. I don't want to talk to him. I don't want to question him. I already saw the answer for my question last night. I already know where i