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Chapter Ten
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2026-01-24 02:57:14
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What Was Never Mine Chapter Fourteen
It was three nights before I saw him again.Three nights since the willow and the moss and the world that had existed only for us.The castle swallowed us whole the moment we returned. Duties reclaimed me without ceremony. Roman was summoned to council, to training yards, to audiences that stretched long into the evening. We did not seek each other at once — whether from caution or the unspoken need to steady ourselves, I cannot say.I only know that I felt his absence like a bruise.The first night, I lay awake in the attic chamber assigned to me, staring at the sloped ceiling, replaying the feel of his hands, the weight of him, the way his voice had softened when he said my name as though it belonged to him alone. My body remembered what my pride would not allow me to dwell upon. I pressed my thighs together in the dark and scolded myself for it.The second night, I convinced myself I had imagined half of it. The castle had a way of reducing miracles to foolishness. By candlelight,
What Was Never Mine Chapter Thirteen
I awoke before the sun.For a fleeting instant I felt only warmth — warmth at my back, warmth along my thighs, warmth beneath my ribs where something new and quiet pulsed like a secret.Then memory returned.The willow. The moss. His hands. My own voice — trembling, breathless, no longer the voice of a girl.I lay very still.Roman’s arm rested around my waist, his palm splayed lightly against my stomach as though it belonged there. His breath stirred the hair at my neck, slow and untroubled. He slept as men do — unburdened by what morning brings.I did not.The light filtering through the willow branches seemed almost accusing in its gentleness. I felt… different. Not broken. Not sore in body, though there was that too — but altered in some deeper way.Woman.The word came to me without ceremony.Yesterday I had been a maiden, as the church so fondly named us. Today I was something else. Something known. Something claimed — though not by force.By choice.That should have comforte
What Was Never Mine Chapter Twelve
The carnival came to us as though the world itself had decided to be kind.I remember thinking, as we crossed the final hill and the lights first appeared below, that I had never seen so many colors gathered in one place. Lanterns hung from poles and wagon wheels, glowing amber and rose and soft gold, swaying gently in the evening breeze. Music drifted upward—fiddles and flutes and drums beating a rhythm that felt older than the road beneath our feet. Laughter followed it, bright and unrestrained, the kind of sound that belonged to people who believed themselves unseen.Masks were everywhere.Silk and velvet, painted porcelain and carved wood, feathers and ribbons and glimmering thread. Faces hidden just enough to loosen the world’s grip on propriety. I tied mine on with hands that trembled—not from fear, but from the thrill of stepping into a version of myself that did not bow or avert her gaze. When I turned to him, I hardly recognized the man beneath the dark half-mask.Not the cro
What Was Never Mine Chapter Eleven
Time did not move as it once had.It slipped instead—quietly, indulgently—through hidden corridors and shadowed alcoves, through minutes stolen behind tapestries and hours borrowed from sleep. Days passed without marking themselves, and I only noticed their leaving by how easily Roman’s presence fit beside mine, how natural it felt to lean into him as though I had always belonged there.Our secrecy had softened into something dangerous.Kisses were no longer accidents, nor moments seized in haste. They had become familiar greetings—his mouth finding mine in silence, his hand settling at my waist as though it knew the shape of me better than I did myself. Touch lingered now, unhurried, reverent. Fingers traced my wrist, my jaw, the curve of my back with a tenderness that made my breath falter every time.I had stopped pretending my body did not respond.The castle had its rhythms, and we learned them well. We knew when the western gallery lay empty in the late afternoon, when the chape
What Was Never Mine Chapter Ten
Distance, I learned, is not a thing you create by stepping away.It is a thing you carry in your chest and pray will harden before your heart betrays you.I woke that morning resolved to be careful. Not hopeful. Not foolish. Careful. The kind of careful that keeps one alive in a palace that devours girls like me without ceremony.I avoided the east corridor where I knew he took his morning walks. I lingered longer than necessary in the scullery, hands red from soap and water, listening for the sound of boots I knew too well. When his name was spoken by another maid—casual, thoughtless—I pretended not to hear it. When I was assigned to the western wing instead of the royal library, I thanked God for small mercies and told myself it was a sign.This was what I had wanted, was it not? Space. Silence. Safety.And yet my body moved through the day as though something vital had been removed from it. Every corner felt wrong without him appearing in it. Every breath felt borrowed.The kiss
What Was Never Mine Chapter Nine
I did not hear the news from him.That, I think, was the first wound.I was polishing the brass rail outside the east gallery when two ladies passed behind me, their voices light and careless, as though the words they spoke were nothing more than gossip fit for tea.“—two years’ time,” one of them said. “The contracts were sealed this morning. The dowry alone—”“And such a perfect match,” the other sighed. “A princess raised for obedience. The king will be pleased at last.”Their footsteps faded before I could rise, before I could breathe. The cloth slipped from my fingers and fell to the stone, but I did not move to retrieve it. I knelt there, frozen, my pulse loud in my ears, my thoughts suddenly sharp and merciless.Two years.Sealed.Final.I told myself there must be some mistake. I told myself such things were spoken of freely long before they were decided. I told myself—foolishly—that if it were true, he would have told me.But when I saw him that evening, standing beneath the
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